


R U Mine?

by Sereiin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Homophobic Language, Levi and Mikasa are siblings, M/M, Oblivious Eren Yeager, Sibling Rivalry, Slight Eruren, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 10:35:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 48,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2729225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sereiin/pseuds/Sereiin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi and Mikasa Ackerman are the new kids in town. They both seem to have fallen for their attractive new neighbor, Eren Jaeger. Now these two siblings have never quite seen eye to eye, but with the addition of their new crush, things get even crazier and a hilarious rivalry ensues. Who will win Eren's heart?</p><p>[DISCONTINUED]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So thanks to anyone who decides to give this story a try. Sorry in advance for Levi's excessive swearing and the general OOCness. Levi and Mika are truly some bratty teens...

 I have no control.  
  
 I have no control over my own life, I thought as I lay face down on the floor. This is how low I’ve sunken. So low that I, Levi Ackerman am lying on the dusty ass floor. The dusty ass floor that one could argue isn’t even that dusty, but I’d tell them to shut the fuck up anyway because nothing is ever clean unless _I_ say so.  
  
 “Big brother.” Mikasa nudged my ass with her foot.  
  
 I didn’t bother with a response.  
  
 “Levi,” she kicked me this time.  
  
 “Ngh.”  
  
 “Levi, you fucking prick.” Another kick.  
  
 “Just leave me here to die, Mika,” I groaned into the floor.  
  
 “You fucking shortass, get up!” She yanked at my hair.  
  
 I hissed in pain and slapped her hands away. I sat up and glowered at her. “Mikasa I will, Fuck. You. Up,” I enunciated each word slowly.  
  
 She just rolled her eyes at me. “Mom wants you to set the table.”  
  
 “Mom can go fuck herself,” I spat.  
  
 “I can hear you!” I heard my mother call from the kitchen.  
  
 “Good, you old hag!” I yelled back.  
  
 “Love you too, sweetie!”  
  
 “Why are you being so pissy, or should I say, even pissier than usual?” Mikasa asked.  
  
 She fucking knows why. All these fuckers know why. Being forced to move hours upon hours away from your hometown, leaving behind all you’ve ever know… You think that’s fucking easy? Not to mention right at the start of my fucking senior year.  
  
 Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t really give a shit about school anyway, or about anything really for that matter, but it would have been nice to graduate with my shitty ass friends from the shitty ass school I’ve gone to for three goddamn shitty years. It would have been nice and familiar.  
  
 But then change had to slap me in the face when my father got a promotion and the company had to fucking move and I had to be dragged cross country just because of it....  
  
 “You know what, Levi? I think I understand what you’re feeling,” Mikasa told me.  
  
 I looked at her through narrowed eyes, daring her to get all mushy on me now.  
  
 “I would be angry too, if I was that short.” She started fucking snickering.  
  
 I could feel my left eye twitch. “Fuckin' brat-”  
  
 “Mom!” She ran away screaming before I could land a punch.  
  
 “Tch.”

* * *

  
 I hate eating with the family.  
  
 My mother scowls at me until I put my phone away, my father chews like a pig, Mikasa is all dainty and ladylike until she decides to burp right in my fucking ear just to piss me off.  
  
 I shot a pea at her swooshy black hair that she never lets anyone touch. She’s still pissed at me since I cut her ponytail a couple months back.  
  
 Her hair used to reach her ass and now it’s barely past her chin. Serves her right for letting her cat piss on my leather jacket.  
  
 Speaking of that devil cat…  
  
 “Yuki, you fucking bitch,” I hissed at the white fur-ball.  
  
 I kicked at it lightly since it was clawing up my leg, begging for food. Isn’t that a dog's job?  
  
 “Leave Yuki alone.” Mikasa glared at me.  
  
 “Levi, don’t pester the cat, she just loves you,” Mom said.  
  
 I looked down at the little white ball of fur who proceeded to show her fangs and hiss at me. “Right.” Shitty cat.

* * *

  
 I suppose the new house isn’t all that bad.  
  
 It’s fairly large, modern build, nice neighborhood.  
  
 My room is upstairs across from Mikasa’s. Everything is pretty much already set, I just have a couple suitcases to unpack.  
  
 I flopped down on my bed and stared at the bland white ceiling. This is home now, huh?  
  
 “Levi?” Mikasa knocked on the closed bedroom door.  
  
 “Fuck off!”  
  
 She ignored me, of course, and stepped into the room anyway.  
  
 I didn’t pay her any mind until she came over to the bed and flopped down right on my stomach.  
  
 “What the fuck, don’t sit on me!” I struggled to push her off. I felt like I was suffocating. Mikasa has always been thin but she works out about as much as I do- which is a lot to be honest, even if I've been lazier about it these days- and damn muscle really is heavier than fat. “Mika, get your fat ass off of me!”  
  
 She finally relented and rolled off to sit on the other side of the bed.  
  
 “What do you want?”  
  
 “Are you okay?” She asked me.  
  
 “Of course I am,” I replied. “Why do you care?”  
  
 “I don’t,” she scoffed, “but Isabel does and she won’t stop texting me. She says you’ve been acting like a bitch and now you won’t respond to her or Farlan’s texts."  
  
 “That's because they annoy the fuck out of me. Tell that brat I’m fine and I’ll text her tomorrow.” It’s not like I really care about friendships and what not, but not having those two assholes by my side is gonna feel real weird. They're childhood friends, my best friends to be honest, and it’s like I don’t have a single memory that doesn’t have those two in it.  
  
 “Aw miss your friends already, wittle Wevi?” Mikasa teased in a cooing tone like she was talking to a fucking baby.  
  
 “No.” It’s gonna feel real empty.  
  
 “I think someone’s lyyying,” she said in a singsong voice now.  
  
 “Get the fuck out of my room!”  
  
 “No,” she simply stated, crossing her arms and not budging an inch from her spot.  
  
 “Whatever.” I sighed and continued staring at the ceiling. “Don’t you hate Isabel, by the way?”  
  
 When Mikasa was little, she would get mad that Isabel would call me ‘big brother’ since she claimed that only _she_ was my real sister and I couldn’t be anybody else's brother. Then Isabel would only laugh and say that she was my friend before I ever became an actual big brother and she’s been using that nickname since she could speak.  
  
And then Mikasa would get mad, start wailing, and bite someone....  
  
 “I got over that like fifty years ago,” Mikasa said.  
  
 “Right, little sister.”  
  
 “Shut up.” She flicked my nose.  
  
 “I will smother you with a pillow, brat!”

* * *

_  
_ I woke up the next morning at around ten.  
  
 It’s Sunday so I don’t have to worry about school until tomorrow.  
  
 I walked to the bathroom down the hall only to find it locked.  
  
 “Mika, I gotta piss!” I pounded on the door.  
  
 “Hold on a sec!” Mikasa yelled back.  
  
 “Hurry up! What are you doing in there anyway, waxing your moustache?”  
  
 “You’re just jealous you can’t grow facial hair, runt!”  
  
 “So you admit you have one?!”  
  
 “Fuck. Off.”

 Once I’m showered, clean, primped and pretty it’s already going on noon.  
  
 I threw some nasty ass pizza rolls in the oven since the fridge isn’t stocked with much else yet, and plopped down on the couch to browse Netflix or something.  
  
 The ‘rents are out which means it only Mika and I. Oh, and that bitch Yuki is around here somewhere. Probably waiting to attack me, fangs bared and claws up.  
  
 I’m trying to decide between two shitty horror movies when I hear the doorbell ring.  
  
 “Mika, door!” I called.  
  
 “You’re _right there_!” She sighed, exasperated as she walked past me to the foyer.  
  
 “Your point?” I raised an eyebrow even though she couldn't see it.  
  
 I heard the front door open and my sister making a weird noise. Did she just choke on her own spit?  
  
 I heard a voice, sounds like a guy, but I can’t really make out what they’re saying other than something along the lines of, “my mom wanted me to bring these over.”  
  
 The front door closed- at this point I have chosen to watch a shitty movie about a demonic possession that-get this- _actually_ happened. Yeah, whatever. How many other movies have I seen with the exact same plot?  
  
 I heard footsteps coming back into the living room and it sounds like Mikasa brought a guest with her.  
  
 “Levi."  
  
 “Hng?” I vaguely grunt, not bothering to look away from the TV.  
  
 “He’s always like this,” Mikasa muttered to whoever she brought inside.  
  
 I heard a light chuckle. It’s warm, boyish, and holy shit how can a person _sound_ cute?  
  
 It caused me to finally look up and turn my attention to Mika and her guest. I felt the remote slip out of my hand.  
  
 Fuck me. Like, seriously, fuck me six ways to Sunday… The guy- boy- whatever standing next to Mikasa was gorgeous. He’s a little taller than her height- which is 5’7- and he’s got this messy brown hair I have a sudden urge to touch and see if it’s as soft as it looks. He’s got these gorgeous wide eyes- a blueish green that reminds me of the sea. Tan skin, boyish smile on his kissable looking lips…  
  
 and fuck, Levi, you don’t even know this guys name yet. And he’s probably Mikasa’s age for fucks sake, you’re crushing on a kid here. You-  
  
 “Levi, this is Eren,” Mikasa introduced, “and Eren, this is my douchebag of a brother, Levi.”  
  
 Eren chuckled again. Fuck it’s like liquid honey. “Nice to meet you,” he told me. I think for the first time in my life I almost blushed.  
  
 I just kind of nod my head in acknowledgment. “Likewise.”  
  
 “Eren brought over some brownies for us,” Mikasa said as she held up a clear platter with a shit ton of moist delicious looking brownies covered in chocolate frost wrapped in saran wrap on it.  
  
 “My mother made them to welcome the new neighbors. We live right next door by the way. She wanted to come say hi, but she had to run to work. Told me to invite you guys to our annual Halloween party next week. Everybody in the neighborhood usually comes,” Eren said.  
  
 “Sounds fun,” Mikasa said. I noticed the way her eyes got all big when she looked at Eren, her usual bitch face melting into an easy smile.  
  
 I narrowed my eyes at her. Seems I’m not the only one to notice this Eren brat is attractive.  
  
 “I’ll let the parentals know,” I assured.  
  
 I heard the oven beep then so I paused the shitty movie I wasn’t paying attention to and went to get my goddamn unhealthy frozen crap.  
  
 I got my food, grabbed a can of Dr. Pepper and walked back into the living room.  
  
 Mikasa and Eren and were sitting on the couch to the left of the one I was occupying. They were sitting too close for comfort for my liking.  
  
 “Eren’s a sophomore, like me,” Mikasa said, probably trying to start a conversation.  
  
 “Cool.”  
  
 “Are you a freshman, Levi?” Eren asked.  
  
 I snapped my gaze to him just to glare. He’s really fucking lucky he’s cute. “I’m a senior,” I snapped.  
  
 Eren paled a little at my tone. I’m used to it, people always find me intimidating...  
  
 But then he’s back to grinning again. “Really? That’s cool. I mean I guess I thought since you were so shor-”  
  
 Mikasa elbowed him in the gut. She most likely knew I would put Eren on his ass, pretty face be damned, if he finished that sentence.  
  
 He grimaced a little but seemed to get the hint and promptly shut up.  
  
 “We should all walk to school together tomorrow. I can give you a guys a tour so you can get familiar with the place,” Eren suggested.  
  
 Maria High was only a couple blocks from here.  
  
 “Sure, I’d love that,” Mikasa was quick to say.  
  
 “Whatever,” I muttered. Don’t want to seem too excited. Or just plain fucking obvious as Mika.  
  
 “Cool.” Eren smiled.

 

* * *

 

 Eren stuck around for a few minutes until he checked the time and said he had to go meet up with some friends or some shit.  
  
 “You’re so obvious,” I told Mikasa as she plopped down next to me on the couch after walking Eren out.  
  
 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said in this haughty tone that told me she obviously knew what I was fucking talking about.  
  
 “You were practically drooling over him,” I snickered.  
  
 “So what? He’s hot,” Mikasa said.  
  
 Well I can’t argue there…  
  
 “And I saw the way you were looking at him too, Levi,” she told me.  
  
 Huh? Since when is this brat so perceptive? “Really?” I snorted.  
  
 “You had that twinkle in your usually cold dead eyes. Just know this, S _horty_ , Eren is mine,” she stated.  
  
 “Hoh? _Yours_? Does that sound like a challenge? It really does, Mikasa," I taunted.  
  
 “He’s too young for you!” She retorted.  
  
 “Please it’s like what, a couple years difference? And yeah don’t even pull the ‘but he’s my age’ card since he seems a hell of a lot more mature than _you_.”  
  
 “He’s probably straight.”  
  
 “You don’t know that.”  
  
 “He probably doesn’t like short people.”  
  
 “Are you really gonna keep making fun of my height? So what if I’m five foot three? You’re five foot a _bitch_!”  
  
 “Excuse you!”  
  
 “You wanna test me, brat!?”  
  
 “Bring it, shorty!”

* * *

_  
_ “I can’t believe you two!”  
  
 “I thought it’d be different when we moved, maybe the experience would bring you guys closer together but…”  
   
 “Why are there claw marks on your clothes?”  
  
 “Mikasa was it really necessary to throw my expensive vase from Japan? Do you know how much that...”  
  
 “You could have hurt somebody!”  
  
 “Who ripped the curtains off the windows?”  
  
 “You tipped over the couches, _broke_ the flat-screen…”  
  
 “I’d ground you both if I thought you’d even listen to me.”  
  
 “Just…”  
  
 “Go to your rooms!” Both the parentals yelled at the same time.  
  
 Honestly they should be used to Mikasa and I fighting by now. It’s all we ever do.  
  
 “Nice going,” I spat at Mikasa.  
  
 “Same!” She snarled at me.  
  
 Oh, the game has just started little sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd appreciate if you'd leave a comment, I love the feedback. Tell me what you love or hate and if you possibly want more? Thanks,
> 
> <3 Cass


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi and Mika are the new kids at school, and Eren declares a movie night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh \\( - o - )/ thanks to everyone who commented and/or left kudos and encouragement. I hope this chapter isn't bad cause admittedly I feel the end is lacking but don't worry, the story has only just begun...

 When Monday rolls around, I’m not sure whether to feel excited or pissed off.  
  
 Right now I’d say I’m a mixture of the two. Excited to see Eren again, but also dreading school. Fuck school. Nobody likes high school, it’s a fact.  
  
 “Levi, eat something,” my mother told me.  
  
 “I never eat breakfast,” I reminded her. The only thing I ingest in the mornings is coffee. I hate the stuff honestly, but it wakes me up. I much prefer tea but my mother thinks I have an "obsession".  
  
 I swear, hoard a few hundred boxes of earl grey under your bed (and the closet _) one time_ and you’ll never hear the end of it.  
  
 “Morning,” Mikasa practically sang as she skipped into the kitchen.  
  
 “Good morning, Darling.” Mom kissed her forehead.  
  
 I glared at Mikasa over the rim of my coffee mug. “Isn’t that outfit a little too slutty for your first day of school?” I questioned.  
  
 She was wearing a miniskirt. It’s fucking autumn. I know she’s just trying to impress somebody. That somebody obviously being Eren…  
  
 “Levi!” My mother smacked the back of my head.  
  
 “Hey! I’m just worried that she’ll catch a cold dressed like that. It’s fall and it just keeps getting chillier outside,” I retorted.  
  
 “Well, he does have a point,” Mom reasoned.  
  
 “I’ll be fine,” Mikasa stated.  
  
 I rolled my eyes and got up from my perch on the counter to put my mug in the sink.  
  
 “Levi, aren’t those skinny jeans a little tight? If you even had any, I’d worry that your little balls were being crushed.” Mikasa snorted.  
  
 The hair on the back of my neck bristled like fucking Yuki does whenever someone steps on her tail. My hands balled into fists. “I’ll have you know, these jeans make my ass look _spectacular_!”  
  
 “Sure they-”  
  
 “Could you two _not_ do this? It’s not even eight yet.”  
  
 “Mind your own business.”  
  
 “He always starts it!”

* * *

 _  
_ “Hey, Levi, Mikasa,” Eren greeted us when we meet up with him at the end of the street.  
  
  _He said my name first_ , I silently rejoiced. It doesn’t mean much, but I can tell by the way Mikasa’s lip twitched that it bothered her.  
  
 “Good morning, Eren!” Mikasa said with a very over enthusiastic smile.  
  
 “Morning.” Eren grinned that blinding fucking grin that made me hold back a smile of my own. He’s like...the fucking sun or something. Too bright. Especially those eyes of his.  
  
 “We should probably get going if we want to make it there in time to show you two around before class starts,” he said.  
  
 I nodded, Mikasa agreed, and we began the walk to Maria High School.  
  
 “Aren’t you cold, Mikasa?” Eren asked with a hint of concern, apparently barely realizing Mikasa’s ridiculous fucking skirt.  
  
 “No, I’m fine,” she assured him, smiling coyly.  
  
 “Are you sure?” Eren bit his bottom lip in worry. Fuck those lips of his look soft, and really pink...They’d probably look amazing wrapped around my co-  
  
 “Here, why don’t you take my scarf at least. It’ll make me feel better.” My attention snapped to Eren as he said this. He took off the red scarf he was wearing and began to wrap it around Mikasa.  
  
 I wanted to hurl at the face my sister was making. I think she had fucking tears in her eyes.  
  
 “Thank you,” she whispered as she brought the fabric up to her nose to “discreetly” sniff it. Lucky bitch. I bet it smells like sunshine or something. “That’s really sweet.”  
  
 “It would suck if you got a cold your first week here,” Eren told her.  
  
 “Can we get a fucking move on, brats? I wanna get the day over with,” I snapped.  
  
  Eren just chuckled, nodded and continued walking. I "accidentally" bumped into Mikasa as we followed after him.

* * *

  
  
 “Oh that’s cool, Mikasa and I have chemistry and History together,” Eren said as we looked over our schedules together.  
  
 I rolled my eyes. Yeah, totally cool.  
  
 “But we all have the same lunch,” he continued, “that’s pretty awesome too.”  
  
  Well at least it’s something. I won’t b _e totally_ Eren deprived.  
  
  “I can introduce you to some of my friends then…Speaking of which, hey Horseface!” He called out to some douchebag wearing a Letterman jacket.  
  
  The guy had two-toned hair- brown with an ash blonde top- and a long looking face. Definitely horsey.  
  
  “Jaeger, stop fucking calling me that!” He slammed his locker shut and stocked over to us.  
  
  “This asshole here is Jean. Jean, this is Mikasa and Levi,” Eren introduced us. “They’re my new neighbors.”  
  
  “Nice to meet you both. Sorry you have to live next to such a bastard,” he told us. He was mostly glaring at Eren as he said this.  
  
  But then his gaze shifted to Mikasa and I could pinpoint the exact moment his little heart stopped. His eyes got blown wide and fuck I think he was blushing. It was sickening.  
  
  “You...uh...y-you have really p-pretty hair,” he stuttered.  
  
  Mikasa just gave him her usual bitch face.  
  
  “I mean it’s just so black a-and silky looking...I’ve never seen anything like it before.” Holy fuck this kid is making me want to cringe.  
  
  “Jean, you’re...really fuckin’ creepy,” Eren muttered.  
  
  “My sister’s not into horses,” I told Jean.  
  
  “Bestiality is wrong,” Mikasa agreed as she nodded her head eagerly.  
  
  Jean just stared at all three of us for a moment. “You guys are assholes,” he muttered in an accepting tone and just turned and walked away.  
  
  “Good first impression, I think.”

* * *

  
  
  I walked into first period already in the mood for a fucking nap.  
  
  I have some science bullshit class or something or another…  
  
  I sat down at one of the black topped tables at the back of the room. I noticed people watching me from the moment I stepped in the door, following my every move.  
  
  Some girls a few seats in front of me started to huddle together and began whispering. They peeked back at me every so often.  
  
  I sighed and started fucking around on my phone since having so many eyes on me was making me feel anxious.  
  
  “Hey, are you new here?” Some girl came up to perch on the edge of my table. She had black hair gathered into braided pigtails and dull brown eyes.  
  
  _Well no shit_ , I wanted to say. But I’m much more polite than that. “I like dick,” I told her right off the bat.  
  
  She stared at me for a second, and then walked back to her seat in utter dejection.  
  
  I snorted and look back down at my phone.  
  
  A few minutes later the chair next to mine scraped across the ground as someone sat down.  
  
  I didn’t bother paying my new table partner any attention until I felt them breathing _right up my fucking neck_.  
  
  I looked over my shoulder to find some guys face dangerously close to my own. I heard the strangest sound like he...he was fucking _sniffing_ me.  
  
  I didn’t think twice before pushing him the fuck away. “Dude!”  
  
  He fell to the floor with a crash.  
  
  He looked up at me with this weird fucking smirk on his face.  
  
  “I’ll give you something to fucking smirk about.” I huffed as I stood up and made my way over to fuckin’ pummel his ass.  
  
  “Hey, you’re the new kid!” Before I got the chance, however, some crazy nut-job pounced right on my back.  
  
  If I wasn’t so strong, I would’ve toppled over.  
  
  “Get off me!” I flipped whoever the fuck was clinging to me over my head and onto their back.  
  
  “Ow!” The crazy person giggled.  
  
  She had messy reddish brown hair pulled into a high ponytail and spectacles covering her brown eyes.  
  
  “What the _fuck_ are you?” I questioned.  
  
  “I’m Hanji Zoe! Nice to meet ya!” She bounced up and over to me. She stuck her hand out but I pointedly glared at it, lip curling in disgust. She shrugged and put it down, grin never faltering from her face. “That’s Mike,” she jabbed her thumb in the bloodhound’s direction, “he has a habit of sniffing people he’s just met.”  
  
  “That’s pretty fucked.”  
  
  “Well aren’t we all a little fucked? Anyways, what’s your name?” Hanji asked.  
  
  “Levi,” I stated.  
  
  “Is it alright if I call you pipsqueak?”  
  
  “Is it alright if I punch you, Shitty-glasses?”

* * *

  
  
  To my utter disappointment, I find out that Hanji and I share practically all the same classes except AP Calculus and History.  
  
  She drags me around all day, yapping on and on about the people, the classrooms, her science experiments and her advancement in the process of cloning her dog or whatever the fuck… I’m exhausted by the time lunch rolls around.  
  
  “So, Levi, wanna sit with my friends and I?” Hanji asked. She didn’t bother giving me time to respond and just tugged me along by the arm over to a table in the back of the cafe.  
  
  “Erwin!” She greeted some tall ass guy already sitting at the table.  
  
  He was blonde, built, kinda reminded me of Captain America, and his eyebrow game was strong. I’m honestly afraid they’re gonna crawl off his face and try to eat me.  
  
  “This is Levi!” Hanji pushed me forward since I was busy trying to escape her clutches.  
  
  “Nice to meet you, Levi. I’m Erwin Smith.” He offered his hand for me to shake.  
  
  I glared until he put it down.  
  
  “I hope you’re liking Maria High. I happen to be student body president,” Erwin stated.  
  
  Hoh, is that suppose to impress me?  
  
  “Levi!” I heard a warm honey-like voice call out to me.  
  
  I turned my head to see Eren waving at me with a stupid fucking grin on his stupid attractive face.  
  
  “Got a lunch date already, I see,” Hanji mused. “Have fun!” She giggled and turned back to Erwin who I noticed had a stiff expression on his face as he peered at Eren. Whatever that’s about.  
  
  “Thank fuck,” I muttered under my breath as I walked over to where Eren was standing next to a round table at the center of the cafe.  
  
  “How’s your day been so far?” He asked me.  
  
  “Shitty,” I told him. I wasn’t about to lie. “A fucking nut-job took me under her wing.” I scowled in Hanji’s direction.  
  
  “Hanji Zoe? Yeah, she’s pretty eccentric. Nice enough though. Just don’t let her do any experiments on you,” Eren warned. He had a slight teasing twinkle in his bright green eyes.  
  
  “Noted.”  
  
  “Are you eating here? We should probably get in line then since they fill up fast and take forever.”  
  
  “Eren!” Mikasa’s shrill voice cut through my eardrums.  
  
  I restrained the urge to roll my eyes as she hopped over to us. “Oh hey, Levi,” she greeted with noticeably less enthusiasm.  
  
  “Sis,” I greeted with just a tad bit of edge in my voice.  
  
  Eren asked her the same question of how her day’s gone and she started chattering away like a bunny on speed. Ya know, if bunnies could speak.  
  
  By the time we got our food, she was still fucking babbling…  
  
  “...so I really don’t know what his problem is. He _headbutted_ this one guy…”  
  
  I swear her voice is grating on my nerves.  
  
  “Mr. Shadis is a hard-ass. Or I guess a better word to use would be crazy,” Eren said as we all sat down at the table which was now occupied by what I guess were Eren’s friends.  
  
  They all stared at us as we sat down. I sat down as fast as I could in the free spot to Eren’s right since the seat on the other side of him was already full. Mikasa shot me a dirty look and huffed as she was forced to sit next to me. I would have stuck my tongue out at her if it didn’t make things so fucking obvious.  
  
 “Eren, who’re they?” Some bald headed kid asked.  
  
  “Levi and Mikasa,” he pointed us out respectively.  
  
  “Levi? Oh like the jean br-” some girl started to say.  
  
  “No, not like the jeans,” I hissed.  
  
  Her brown eyes widened. “He’s kinda scary,” she whispered to badly who nodded in agreement.  
  
  “I know you though, you’re in my English class,” she told Mikasa. “You sold me out for eating chips!” She accused.  
  
  “You were crunching so loud that it was disturbing my thought process,” Mikasa said.  
  
  “What thought process,” I snickered.  
  
  She punched me in the arm.  
  
  “Are you both sophomores?” Some blonde haired girl asked.  
  
  “Nah, I had Levi in AP Calculus,” some buff looking block-headed blonde guy said, “you’re a senior, right?” He questioned me.  
  
  I nodded.  
  
  “Yeah I remember you, you sat in the back and wouldn’t stop scowling,” he snickered. “I’m Reiner, this is Bertolt,” he pointed to the lanky, anxious looking kid sitting next to him.  
  
  Everybody took the time after that to introduce themselves.  
  
  “Nice to meet you guys, I’m Historia,” the tiny blonde haired girl said.  
  
  “The name’s Ymir. Don’t fuck with me.” The chick was perpetually scowling and had an arm slung possessively around Historia.  
  
  “Annie.” Another blondie with a bad case of resting bitch face.  
  
  “I’m Sasha.” Brunette with a ponytail, lively brown eyes, and cheeks stuffed with food.  
  
  “Sash, don’t eat all my chips! Hey, I’m Connie,” baldly stated.  
  
  “I’m Marco.” Some dark haired kid with freckles and a smiling face.  
  
  Eren nudged the kid sitting next to him who had his nose buried in a book. “Oh, h-hi, I’m Armin.” He was blonde, blue eyed, and had the lamest haircut I've ever seen.  
  
  “Why are they sitting here?” Someone questioned as they sat down.  
  
  “Horseface!” Eren greeted with a snarky smile.  
  
  “Fuck you, Jaeger,” Jean spat.  
  
  “I thought we already distinguished that bestiality is wrong,” Eren said.  
  
  “You two shouldn’t fight,” Marco stated from his spot beside Jean.  
  
  Jean looked over at him with a kicked puppy expression on his horsey face. “Sorry, Freckles,” he muttered.  
  
  “I don’t appreciate this nickname.” Marco sighed, shaking his head.  
  
  “I don’t appreciate Jean’s face.” Eren threw a fry at said face.  
  
  "Jaeger!"

* * *

  
  
  Mikasa and I met up with Eren at the end of the school day to walk home together. The little blonde coconut head was with him.  
  
  “Armin’s gonna walk with us, I thought we could all hang out over at my place,” Eren said, “If you want to.”  
  
  “Sounds fun,” Mikasa chirped.  
  
  “Whatever,” I said.

* * *

 

  
  Eren’s house reminds me much of my own. It’s nicely decorated and whatever. Ha, I wonder what Eren's room looks like?  
  
  “My parents are out,” Eren said.  
  
  We all plop down on the couch and decide to watch a movie. Eren goes into the kitchen to get some snacks and leaves us to debate over what to watch.  
  
  He has an impressive movie collection which I feel an itch to alphabetize.  
  
  “Do you need help, Eren?” Mikasa asked.  
  
  “Eager much,” I muttered under my breath.  
  
  “Nah It’s fine, I got it,” Eren called from the kitchen.  
  
  “I, um, think this looks good,” Armin held up a shitty ass Rom-com.  
  
  “It looks like a chick flick,” I scoffed.  
  
  Armin's face dropped; he looked like a frightened puppy.  
  
  “I think I’m in the mood for horror,” Mikasa said. She had a slight smirk pulling at her lips. “Although I’ll admit sometimes I end up getting a little scared. Might need someone to protect me.”  
  
  If she thinks she’s gonna get to cuddle Eren, I’ll punch her in the face right now.  
  
  “I-I kind of don’t like horror movies,” Armin muttered.  
  
  “Don’t be such a pussy, kid,” I snapped.  
  
  Mikasa flicked me on the head. “Don’t let my asshole brother bother you,” she told Armin. “But honestly, it’s just a movie, you’ll be fine.”  
  
  “Alright.” Armin sighed in defeat.  
  
  When Eren walked back in the room, arms loaded with junk food, the previews were barely finishing up.  
  
  The only available seat was at the end of the sofa beside Armin. I was stuck on Armin's other side and sandwiched between him and Mikasa. Honestly, why did he have to sit so close to me?  
  
  I yawned, stretched, and threw my arm over the back of the sofa above Armin’s head and shifted a little to glare at him intently while Eren was busy dumping all the snacks on the coffee table.  
  
  I swear I saw Armin shudder a bit. He scrambled to the edge of the sofa, thus opening up a spot for Eren right besides _me_.  
  
  I smirked victoriously. I heard Mikasa huff besides me.  
  
  Eren plopped down besides me and I almost blushed like a schoolgirl. _Oh wow your thighs are touching...so fucking what. Get your shit together, Levi._  
  
  A few minutes into the movie and I’m barely paying attention. I’m much more focused on Eren and our close proximity.  
  
  I stare at him out of the corner of my eye. He’s chewing slowly on a red Twizzler and staring intently at the flat screen.  
  
  Again, those pink fucking lips will be the death of me...  
  
  I shift my eyes away so fast when he suddenly looks back at me. He smirks a little. "Want one," he held out the pack of Twizzlers towards me.  
  
  Don't mind if I do. "Thanks." I took one and smiled. Fuck I hope my smile's flirty, is it flirty? Or do I just look constipated...  
  
  Mikasa elbowed me in the gut while reaching for some chips.  
  
  I turned away from Eren to hiss at her, "Bitch."  
  
  She glared at me and began to viciously crunch her food. Gross.  
  
  “Ahhh!” Armin’s girlish scream makes me jump.  
  
  Must have been the first jump scare. Seriously though, what a little wimp.  
  
  “Armin, you alright?” Eren asked.  
  
  “Y-yeah, peachy.” Armin’s breathing was a bit shaky. A few minutes later, the kid was whimpering again.  
  
  He turned and buried his head in Eren’s shoulder. Eren started patting his hair.  
  
  Mikasa’s vicious chewing stop. She was glaring at Armin, I was glaring at Armin, Eren was oblivious as he just kept petting his little blonde pet.  
  
  Could they be... Nah, why would Eren go for a little girl like Armin? It doesn’t make any sense.  
  
  I heard Mikasa sniffle next to me. Then a whimper. Then she was full on wailing.  
  
  “Mika, what the-”  
  
  “There’s so much blood and how could they kill…”  
  
  This bitch, pretending to be scared. Does she think it’ll make Eren comfort her? Give me a break.  
  
  “Mikasa, are you-”  
  
  I cut Eren off, “She’s fine, right Sis?” I pulled Mikasa by the shoulders and pulled her down until she was forced to bury her face in my neck. I started patting her head. Hopefully I look the part of doting big brother.  
  
 She struggled against me and tried to get away, but I only tightened my grip. _I hope it hurts, bitch.  
  
 _ “You know, maybe we should watch something else?” Eren suggested.  
  
 “Yes!” Armin sobbed. Little bitch.  
  
 “Thank god,” Mikasa muttered as she shoved away from me.  
  
 Eren got up to put on the lame Rom-com Armin wanted to watch.  
  
 He sat back down and everything was relatively normal again.  
  
 Armin kept his hands to himself and didn’t start clinging to Eren, Mikasa stopped with her passive aggressive chewing.  
  
 About thirty minutes into the movie I decide that it’s utter shit. It’s so boring I could fall asleep…Hmm, sleep?  
  
 I let out a yawn, close my eyes, wait a little bit and then decide to feign sleep. I let my head slowly fall to the side, right on Eren’s shoulder.  
  
 I feel him tense for a second, but he relaxes soon after and lets me stay there nuzzled into his side.  
  
 Fuck, he does smell like sunshine. Sunshine and something purely Eren.  
  
 Not even Mikasa’s vicious chewing can bother me now, and fuck, before I know it I actually do fall asleep.

* * *

  
  
  “Levi!” I woke up to Mikasa shouting in my ear and pushing me off the sofa.  
  
  “Ugh?” I groaned when my body hit the plush carpet.  
  
  I scrubbed at my bleary eyes and looked up just in time to notice Eren coming into the living room from the kitchen holding a can of soda.  
  
  “You alright, Levi?” He asked me.  
  
  “Totally,” my voice was raspy with sleep. God, Mika’s a bitch.  
  
  “We should get going actually, our mom is probably expecting us,” Mikasa said.  
  
  She didn’t even let me say goodbye to Eren or even the blonde little coconut sitting by the sofa reading a book, she just dragged me by the arm out the door and all the way next door.  
  
  “Mom’s not even home yet,” I muttered while looking at the empty driveway as she dragged me inside our house.  
  
  “Shut up,” Mikasa hissed. Her nails were digging into my arm.  
  
  “Fuck, Mika, chill the hell out.” I yanked my arm out of her death grip and went into the living room just to escape her.  
  
  She followed me, flicked me on the head, and then stomped upstairs. “This isn’t over!” She yelled over her shoulder.  
  
  “What'd I do?” I asked innocently.  
  
  “You _know_ what you did!”  
  
  “You better step up your game, Sis!” I taunted.  
  
  “I will _crush_ you!”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Mika step up her game? Find out next chapter...
> 
> <3 Cass


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin's a douche and Levi has a fashion emergency.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for every comment, kudos, bookmark. I'm glad people actually like this catastrophe.

My day started out relatively boring.  
  
I woke up and felt like I was dying so I drowned myself in two mugs of coffee, then I went through my usual morning routine- bickering with Mikasa and restraining from punching her in the face included.  
  
We met up with Eren for the walk to school. He was looking cute as usual. Mikasa was pissing me off though, she was still wearing his scarf. I had hoped he would take it back, but he didn’t even so much as mention it.  
  
We arrived just in time for first period and I walked in once again feeling like taking a nap. No such luck though, Hanji wouldn’t let that happen.  
  
She greeted me from her spot on the top of the table which Mike was already seated at. “Shortstack!”  
  
“Shitty-glasses,” I nodded my head in acknowledgment.  
  
“I was just telling Mike about Sawney’s progress with…”  
  
I tuned her out after about five seconds of attempting to listen to her babble. Hey, at least I tried.  
  
I spent the rest of the day like that, tuning Hanji out, trying not to fall asleep, and wishing I could bash my head into the nearest hard surface long enough to knock myself out and be free of all the bullshit.  
  
Lunch time didn’t seem to come fast enough, but when it finally did I sighed in relief.  
  
I met up with Eren and of course my annoying ass sister was already there.  
  
“Wanna eat outside? It’s warmed up a lot since this morning,” Eren said.  
  
“Sure,” I agreed.  
  
We got our shitty cafeteria food- honestly the pizza looks like grease slathered cardboard with cheese gooped on top. It probably taste like play-dough or someshit too.  
  
We went outside through the cafe’s back doors and sat down at one of the picnic tables.  
  
Mikasa and I sat on either side of Eren. After a while some of his friends joined us, but I just ignored them. I ate because I was hungry and definitely not because the food was actually appetizing. We threw our shit away and went to sit out in the sun.  
  
We went over to where Armin sat with his back against a tree as he read another goddamn book. I sighed and sat down on the grass next to Eren, trying not to think about grass stains on my black jeans. Mikasa was laying on the other side of Eren with her arms behind her head and her chest pushed out. _Desperate_ , I wanted to snicker.  
  
It wasn’t as crowded out here as it was inside the cafeteria, although there were still quite a few groups loitering around.  
  
I noticed Hanji waving at me frantically from across the courtyard. I gave her the finger. She proceeded to giggle and blow me a kiss. Fuckin’ freak.  
  
I sighed and dug around in the pockets of my discarded jacket for my pack of smokes. I stuck a cig between my lips, lit it with my zippo, inhaled deeply and tilted my head back to blow smoke towards the baby blue sky. Ha, that cloud totally looks like a dragon…  
  
“Levi.” Someone with a stern deep voice interrupted my peaceful cloud watching. They snatched the cigarette right from between my lips.  
  
Erwin- the big ass tree- was staring down at me with a stony-face and my cigarette clenched between his large fingers.  
  
“Eyebrows,” I greeted him.  
  
“This is a no smoking zone,” he told me, “this _school_ is a no smoking zone,” he clarified.  
  
“I don’t see anybody objecting except you. Who the fuck are you to-”  
  
“I’m the student body president, I have to abide and enforce school policy,” Erwin said.  
  
Is he for real? I wasn’t asking for a right right now, but it’s fuckers like him that… I scowled at him and was about to get up to punch those fucking caterpillars right off his face,  
  
But then Eren put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s not worth it, Levi,” he told me. “I’m sorry, Erwin, I should have told him.”  
  
Erwin was scowling at me, but his fucking expression softened when he addressed Eren, “That’s alright, Eren, it’s not your fault. Levi should have-”  
  
“Should’ve what?” I scoffed.  
  
“Had some common sense and not smoke at school,” he snapped. “Eren, are you sure he’s not causing you any problems?” He asked Eren as he nodded in my direction.  
  
" _You’re_ the one causing problems,” I spat. Honestly, what does this asshole think he’s accomplishing here? I’m five seconds away from decking him.  
  
“He’s fine. But who I hang out with doesn’t really concern you anyway, Erwin,” Eren told him, his tone no longer all that polite.  
  
I raised an eyebrow in confusion when he plucked the cigarette out of Erwin’s hand and put it between his lips, inhaling and then exhaling the smoke expertly after holding it in for a moment. I had a feeling he did it just to spite Eyebrows.  
  
But on another note, that was technically an indirect kiss… _Oh god fucking dammit, Levi you are officially lame._  
  
I was practically mesmerized by the smoke pouring out from between those perfect pouty pink lips.  
  
“Eren, I’m just trying to-”  
  
“To what, protect me? That’s not your job, Erwin,” Eren huffed.  
  
“If you’re going to be hanging around delinquents like this-”  
  
“Levi is a perfectly good person, and you’d know that if you took your head out of your ass, Erwin,” Eren spat. “Come on, Levi. We don’t need this shit.” He tugged my wrist and lead me inside.  
  
I noticed that everybody was staring at us now, minus Armin who still had his head stuck in his book.  
  
Mikasa surprisingly wasn’t glaring at me, but at Erwin instead.  
  
“What the fuck was with Eyebrows?” I questioned once we were back in the cafeteria.  
  
“Eyebrows?” Eren guffawed.  
  
I almost smiled at the sound of his laughter.  
  
“Ah…” Eren wiped at his eyes since he’d started tearing up a bit, “he just takes his student council shit too seriously. He’s top of his class, perfect student, pretty straitlaced and stuff,” he explained.  
  
I felt like perhaps there was something more to it, but then figured I didn’t give a fuck. If Eren didn’t want to tell me, he didn’t have to.  
The bell unfortunately rang at that moment and we parted ways.

* * *

  
  
“I can’t hang out today,” Eren told Mikasa and I on the walk home.  
  
“Oh?” Mika murmured.  
  
“I have work. I work at Happy Paws Animal Clinic as the vet’s assistant. Sometimes he leaves the place to me though.”  
  
“You don’t need a degree or any kind of training for that?” Mikasa questioned.  
  
“Well my boss taught me everything I know. I’ve known him since I was a kid because he’s friends with my dad. It’s funny, I’ve always been interested in taking care of animals opposed to my father who takes care of people; he’s a doctor at Shiganshina General Hospital,” Eren said.  
  
"So you like animals? I love animals too. I have a two year old white Turkish Van. Her names Yuki,” Mikasa told Eren. The sparkle in her eye isn’t even faked, she loves that damn evil cat for reasons that are beyond me.  
  
“Cool. They’re supposed to be really friendly and affectionate,” Eren said.  
  
I choked holding back a laugh. Friendly? That shitty cat? That evil-  
  
“You okay, Levi?”  
  
“Yeah just thinking about how much I love that damn cat,” I lied through my teeth. If Eren loves animals, I can pretend to love those furry little shits too.  
  
“I’d love to meet her. I’ve always wanted a cat, but my mom won’t let me get anything that sheds. I have a snake named Reaper though, he’s…”  
  
Okay I draw the damn line at reptiles, but fuck if Eren didn’t look all cute when talking about his snake…

* * *

  
  
“Don’t change the channel, you shit,” I grumbled when Mikasa snatched the remote out of my hands.  
  
She just stuck her tongue out at me.  
  
“Guys, why aren’t you ready yet?” My mother asked as she walked into the living room.  
  
Mikasa and I shared a confused look.  
  
“I swear,” Mom sighed, “didn’t your father tell you the Jaegers invited us over for dinner?”  
  
“Well obviously not,” I retorted.  
  
“Just hurry up and get dressed; something presentable preferably.” She shooed us off.

* * *

  
  
Does a black button down with skinny jeans and my combat boots count as presentable? I think so. Mikasa was wearing another short as fuck skirt.  
  
We walked over to next door. I scowled at the bottle of wine my mother made me carry. It’s not even the good shit.  
  
My father rang the doorbell to the Jaeger’s house. The door opened a few beats later. We were ushered inside by Eren’s mom- I’m guessing. She looked a fair deal like him except her eyes were a warm brown color instead of the brilliant green Eren’s were. She introduced herself as Carla Jaeger and squished me and Mikasa in a hug.  
  
I stiffened at the contact but couldn’t bring myself to be too upset by it, Carla seemed like a decent woman. Plus she’s Eren mom so of course I don’t want to make a shitty impression. _This could be your mother in law one day, Levi_. Well let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves...

Eren’s father shook my hand next. He said his name was Grisha. He was tall and had long brown hair parted neatly down the middle. He had round spectacles on and a firm handshake.  
  
Eren came downstairs then and greeted Mikasa and I as well as introducing himself to our parents.  
  
He shook hands with my dad. My mom cooed, pinched his cheeks and called him handsome. I had the pleasure of watching his face turn a cute shade of pink.  
  
We were led to the dining room which had an elegant table that was large enough to seat probably about ten people. The chandelier that hung from the ceiling was intricate and the wooden table was of nice quality with ornate seats with plushy white cushions. I sat down next to Mikasa since there wasn’t much of a choice. Eren was across from me. My mother and father were to Mikasa’s right.

The adults started blabbering about some nonsense. Carla got up from the table, stepped into the kitchen and came back with something tasty smelling.  
  
“It’s my special chicken broccoli casserole,” she said.  
  
Dinner was delicious. Carla was an excellent cook. Of course, even if she wasn’t, I still would have told her so.  
  
“This is delicious, Mrs. Jaeger,” I told her.  
  
“Oh why thank you, Levi.” She smiled at me.  
  
I hid a smirk and kicked Mikasa under the table. She huffed and stomped on my foot in retaliation.  
  
The adults were busy discussing work or something, and Mikasa and Eren were talking about animals again. I was half paying attention to the conversation and half focused on trying to sneak a glass of wine.  
  
“Well Levi’s the _worst_ with Yuki,” My full attention snapped to Mikasa as she said this. _Mika, you absolute whore._  
  
“To be honest, she’s a pain in the ass most of the time. But I still love that cat. She loves to snuggle at night; she always comes pawing at my door whenever Mika kicks her out of her room complaining that Yuki takes up too much bed space,” I told Eren. As if I would actually let that furball on my bed.  
  
Mika kicked me again.  
  
“I’d love to see your snake actually,” I told Eren.  
  
“Yeah, you and Mikasa can-”  
  
“Whoops!” Mikasa exclaimed out of nowhere. Not a second later, I registered the feeling of a cold liquid quickly seeping through my shirt. She’d spilled her drink on me, and fuck It was _cold_.  
  
Mikasa smirked at me and I definitely knew it wasn’t an accident. I grit my teeth together to keep from yelling.  
  
“Oh no.” The ‘rents were looking at us now.  
  
“It’s alright, Levi can borrow one of my shirts,” Eren assured them. “Come on, Levi.” He gestured for me to follow him.  
  
I did that just that, only looking back for a second to throw Mikasa a smug look. She was glaring at me, practically seething.  
  
We went upstairs, past a second entertainment room, all the way down the hall and stopped at the last door on the right.  
  
Eren opened the door, flipped on the light switch, and led us inside. It was spacious, about as big as my room. The walls were plain but covered in various posters and pictures and even some drawings which were actually pretty decent. I wonder if Eren did them? He’s never talked about art before.  
  
The bed was king size, covered in a blue comforter and pressed against the far back wall. The only window in the room was draped in a matching blue curtain. There was a desk pressed against the left wall. It was cluttered but not so much that it wasn’t obviously somewhat organized. There was a door leading to a closet, a tank- which I guess contained Reaper- and a dresser pressed against the opposite wall. Well I guess I’m just glad there aren’t any dirty clothes laying around or empty pizza boxes.  
  
Eren went over to the dresser and rummaged through it. I used the time to inspect his room a bit more.  
  
I noticed a couple pictures on his nightstand. One was of his parents and what I assume was him as a kid, the other was of him and blonde coconut-head. There was a guitar laying face down his bed, like he’d been playing it recently.  
  
“Alright, I think this will fit you,” Eren said as he tossed a plain black shirt on the bed, “It might be a little...long though,” he chuckled.  
  
Was that a fucking short joke? “Watch your mouth, Brat,” I snapped at him but it only caused him to laugh harder.  
  
I unbuttoned my shirt and slipped it off, hating the fruity smell of the punch Mika had been drinking.  
  
I grabbed the new shirt off the bed and that’s when I looked up to find Eren staring at me. He was blatantly staring at my abs. I expected him to look away and maybe turn a pretty shade of pink again, but he just smirked at me as his eyes raked up my body, most definitely checking me out.  
  
Well aren’t I flattered? Give me five minutes, I’ll have this brat writhing under me on the bed in no time. Unless he wants to top? I’m game for either.  
  
“Levi, the parentals want to leave!” Mikasa poked her head into the room.  
  
“Fucking cockblock,” I grumbled under my breath as I slipped the clean shirt on.  
  
Mikasa and Eren now had their backs to me, standing in front of the tank that Eren’s snake lived in.  
  
Eren reached inside and came out holding a long slithering... _t_ _hing_. It was black with rings of white and a glossy look to it’s scaled skin.  
  
It curled around Eren’s arms as he showed it off to Mikasa. I saw a hint of hesitation in her eyes but she had a smile plastered on her face.  
  
“Want to try holding him?” Eren asked Mika.  
  
Her face paled, her fake smile faltered. “Uh…”  
  
“Levi, Mikasa!” Our mother called from downstairs.  
  
“We have to go,” Mikasa said. She looked visibly relieved as she tugged on my arm harshly and lead us both downstairs. Eren trailed behind after he put his snake away.  
  
“See you guys, tomorrow,” he told Mikasa and I.  
  
We followed our parents next door back to the house. My mother was laughing loudly after having one too many glasses of wine. My father managed to keep her upright until we got inside the house.  
  
I went upstairs and made my way to my room, reveling in Eren’s scent as I tugged at the shirt he’d let me borrow. I smirked at Mikasa as I did so.  
  
Mikasa went to her room fuming, smoke practically coming out of her ears as she slammed her door unnecessarily loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Eren's Halloween party. Will Mikasa finally score some points?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren skips out on his own Halloween party to get drunk with Levi and Mika.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write and I hope you like it =^.^=

 “What the hell are you and why are you shirtless?” Mikasa asked as she came up behind me in the full bodied mirror.  
  
 “You could knock, you know.”  
  
 “Your door was open.”  
  
 “Not the point.” I turned around to face her and ended up seeing way more of my sister than I’d ever wanted to. “And you think _my_ costume is bad?” I scoffed.  
  
 She was wearing a white crop top that, on top of showing off most of her abdomen, was way low cut and called attention to the fact that her boobs were pushed up to her ears. She had a matching white pleather mini-skirt and fluffy looking white wings attached to her back. Her white knee high boots sadly made her even taller than (me) usual.  
  
 “How much body glitter did you bathe in? And is that a bellybutton ring? Mom’s gonna be pissed,” I told her. I was itching to throw a jacket on her or maybe a fucking curtain. I’m not usually protective of the shitty brat, but what the fuck does she think is gonna happen if she goes out in public like that? Gross little shits are gonna try to grope her…  
  
 But then she’ll have them on her ass in seconds so _calm down, Levi. Mika can definitely take care of herself._ Oh yeah that’s why I never bother to worry about the little shit, she’s brutal.  
  
 “Don’t you dare tell mom. Anyway, don’t I make an amazing angel?” Her little smirk screamed devil more than anything.  
  
 “No,” I stated as I turned back to the mirror to adjust my shoulder strap. “I have a sword, I’m not afraid to cut a bitch, Mika.” I held it up to emphasize my point.  
  
 “What _are_ you? Is that a skirt?”  
  
 “It’s a kilt!” I defended, “and I’m a [gladiator](http://www.blockbustercostumes.com/p-5448-roman-gladiator-costume.aspx?CAGPSPN=pla&gclid=Cj0KEQiAn9-kBRDloNeUw7Pe_YwBEiQA4HXMU805f3tZ6g7OQ0grJD8iGb1GctyUbKN7YZkfjnovmrIaApMQ8P8HAQ), isn’t it obvious?” I rolled my eyes and put my weapon down.  
  
 “Kids, are you ready?” Mom called up the stairs.  
  
 “Coming!” Mikasa yelled. I just kind of grunted and started walking downstairs. Mikasa dashed to her room and came out wearing a long white cloak that hid most of her costume- mainly just how exposing it was.  
  
 “Hiding from mom?” I sighed and shook my head in mock disappointment, “you’ve grown into such a little delinquent, Mika. I remember when you were but a mere toddler, running around with a diaper full of shit. You actually looked up to your older brother and weren’t such an absolute pain in-”  
  
 “Shut up, Loser. You still _look_ like a toddler.” She flicked me on the head, “and for your information, Levi, I have never looked up to you. It’s impossible to start too considering you’re so fucking _short_ ,” she hissed the last word.  
  
 I clutched at my chest in mock hurt. "Sis, your words...th-they _hurt_."  
  
 "You are such a dork."  


* * *

  
 Carla and Grisha greeted us at the door.  
  
 Carla was dressed as a medieval vampire and Grisha was a slice of Pizza.  
  
 “I tried to coordinate costumes, but Grisha wouldn’t listen,” Carla explained.  
  
 There were a fair number of people already here. I recognized most of them from town, school. whatever…This town isn’t very big.  
  
 “Levi, Mikasa!” Eren came over to where Mika and I were standing. He was dragging a disgruntled looking Armin along with him.  
  
 I was hit in the face with Mikasa’s cloak as she hastily pulled it off and started to fix her wings. That didn’t stop me from drooling at the sight of Eren though. He was wearing a form fitting doublet and tight black jeans that made his already delicious looking ass look even more delectable. A golden crown sat atop his messy brown hair and he was also brandishing a sword. I could hear Armin telling him to stop swinging it around.  
  
 “Hey, guys,” Armin greeted with a hint of timidity. He had on black and white skull face paint and was wearing a long black hooded robe. The hood was down and his blonde hair was pulled back in a short ponytail. He dragged an almost too realistic looking silver scythe behind him.  
  
 “Hey, Kid,” I greeted with my usual cold tone but tried desperately not to glare too much. The kid was already afraid of me, and he was important to Eren so I definitely don’t want to look bad in his eyes. Although I have a feeling that ship has probably already sailed.  
  
 “You guys look great,” Eren told both Mikasa and I. I didn’t like the way his eyes lingered on Mika for a second too long.  
  
 She looked at me with a smug face and my hand twitched toward my fake sword. _What I’d say about cutting a bitch, Mika?_  
  
 After about thirty minutes of talking to some of the other guests, Eren pulled Mika and I along with Armin out the back door and into his mother’s little black car.  
  
 He told Mikasa and I the other day that while the annual Halloween party his parents threw was nice and all, he’d always end up sneaking out to go with some of his other friends to parties that promised less old people and a whole lot more alcohol.  
  
 “Do you even know how to drive, you little shit?” I asked.  
  
 “Not really.” Eren smirked at me as he began to pull out of the driveway. _  
  
_

* * *

_  
_ “Whose place is this?” Mikasa asked.  
  
 I whistled under my breath as we walked up to a fucking mansion. Drunk people were loitering around outside, sure, but that didn’t deter from the elegance of the building. The cheesy Halloween decorations even managed to look classy. There were orange, black and purple lights tucked so perfectly into the hedges that they looked like they grew there.  
  
 “Hanji’s,” Eren stated.  
  
 Hanji? As in, “Shitty-glasses?”  
  
 Eren barked a laugh at the nickname. “Her parents are loaded. How do you think she affords all the science equipment?” He said.  
  
 The grand doors were opened to reveal the spacious inside that was just as extravagant as one would think from looking at the exterior even though it was currently set up to look like a rave. Music spilled out into the night, basses thumping and rattling the floor as well as the inside of my head. Strobe lights were flashing, bodies were all over the place and the center of the room made up the impromptu dance floor where hormonal teenagers were grinding more than dancing along to the beat the DJ was playing.  
  
 There was even a bar set up with like actual bartenders and shit Hanji must have hired. I guess if you’re rich you could get away with anything, right? We went over to the bar and ordered some drinks- except Armin who asked for bottled water.  
  
 “Levi!” A loud screeching voice I’ve had the absolute displeasure of coming to know called out to me.  
  
 I turned around in time to see Hanji come bounding towards us. She was dressed in a lab coat with goggles covering her face and black dust all over her like something had exploded. Her hair looked a bit singed at the ends.  
  
 “Nice costume,” I commented.  
  
 “I’m not wearing one,” she stated, completely serious.  
  
 Well then.  
  
 “Nice to see you here, Levi,” Erwin greeted. Of course she’d have Eyebrows with her. He looked fucking ridiculous dressed as Captain America. The form fitting costume hugged his muscular physique and probably would’ve had lesser men drooling, but I only have eyes for a certain green-eyed hottie.  
  
 “Coming over to tell me I shouldn’t be drinking, Erwin?” Eren questioned.  
  
 “Of course not. Do as you wish,” Erwin told him. They had a staring contest that lasted about five seconds until Hanji cleared her throat and hopped up on the bar causing one of the bartenders to shout in surprise.  
  
 She swiped a full bottle of Vodka and raised it in the air. “Party my fellow peers, for it is all hallows eve!” She cackled.  
  
 We sat at the bar for a couple hours doing nothing but drinking and talking. I’m starting to feel a little tipsy but Eren’s worse off since I think he’s had more to drink than Mikasa and I combined. He’s cute when he’s drunk, more giggly than usual.  
  
 “Wanna dance, Eren?” I heard Mikasa ask as I was busy questioning Hanji who the fuck told her Redbull and Vodka was ever okay to mix. Shit’s gross.  
  
 I looked over my shoulder to see Mikasa tug at Eren’s wrist to try and lead him to the dance floor. I almost laughed at Eren’s surprised face when he realized just how strong Mika actually was as he tried and failed to hold onto his bar stool. How else does he think she got that toned stomach he’s been eying?  
  
 “Come dance with us too, Levi.” Eren quickly grabbed my wrist before I had time to protest. He smirked as I scowled at him. I hate dancing and this place looks packed so there’s bound to be sweaty people touching me.  
  
 Although I guess touching a few sweaty strangers was nothing if it meant I could (touch) dance with Eren.  
  
 To my displeasure, it didn’t immediately start out with touching Eren though. We were all just kind of bouncing around with the crowd at first. At least until Mika decided to start being a whore and began grinding on Eren. They ended up with her ass to his front. I was too busy glaring at Eren’s hand resting on Mikasa’s hip as they moved in sync, that I didn’t even bother pushing off the warm bodied stranger that started grinding into my back. At least not until I felt a definite boner and finally reached back to push their nasty ass off.  
  
_Fine if Mikasa’s gonna play that way…_ I went behind Eren and started dancing against him. He stiffened for a moment but then turned his head and saw it was and just smirked and kept dancing. We somehow ended up face to face. His arms were around me, Mika was out of the picture, and we were practically dry humping. I looked up into his green eyes that were blown wide and filled with mirth, the few strands of sweaty brown hair falling in front of them were adorable, and his lips looked soft as always and fuck we were so close-  
  
 But then he’s spun back around by Mikasa. They’re grinding face to face now and his hand is on her ass and ew I just saw my sister’s thong…  
  
_Fuck this_. I spun Eren around again and by now the poor kid looked a little dizzy, but he took it in stride and continued to dance. Then Mika pulled him back, then I did, and this went on for another two rounds before Eren sighed and put his hands on both our shoulders to hold us in place.  
  
 He then tugged Mikasa over to him. She teetered on her heels a bit but didn’t pull away. He turned her around, backed her up to his front, then he reached out to me and tugged me over so I was behind him. He brought one of my arms around his waist and- I can’t help but think- _dangerously close to his dick_. Then suddenly we’re dancing again; Eren’s leaning back into me but also still has his hands on Mika, and holy shit when did this become an Eren sandwich?  
  
 We stayed like that for a while. I couldn’t see Mika much and honestly I didn’t even want to think about her, I was just trying to focus on Eren. He giggled a bit when I started running my hands up and down his body. I decide to be daring and start placing kisses on his neck. He shivered a bit at first but then he giggled some more and my eyes widened in shock when he fell to the floor all of a sudden.  
  
 I barely caught myself in time to keep from toppling over him and into Mikasa. “Are you alright?” I worriedly asked him.  
  
 He stared up at me from his spot on the floor and giggled. “Yeah, I’m perfectly fine,” he told me in a tone that screamed, “I’m totally drunk right now.”  
  
 “Right.” Mikasa deadpanned.  
  
 “Let’s go back to the bar,” I suggested.  
  
 We ended up doing tequila shots that soon turned into body shots.  
  
 I did my best to hold in my disgust and push back vomit as Eren licked a trail of salt off my sister’s neck and then downed his shot after retrieving it from between Mika’s breasts before biting and taking the lime wedge that was held in her mouth. I pulled him away before my whore of a sister could start trying to make out with him or something. The lime fell unceremoniously from his mouth and hit the floor.  
  
 “Eren, lay down.” He didn't protest when I pushed him down on top of the bar and stuffed a lime wedge in his mouth. I undid his shirt and started to lick a trail down his toned abdomen starting from his belly button all the way down to where his happy trail disappeared into his jeans. I shook some salt over where I had licked. I decided to forgo the shot glass and ended up pouring tequila right in the indention of Eren’s bellybutton stopping only when it spilled out onto his abdomen.  
  
 I licked the trail of salt first before sucking out all the tequila and licking up what had spilled on his toned stomach. I ran my tongue over firm abs, relishing in the warm feel of his skin and the slight shivers he was making- hopefully from pleasure. When I moved to retrieve the lime from his mouth, I was captivated by his hooded eyes as he stared at me intently, a hint of desire swirling in those sea green pools. I captured the lime between my teeth and I could feel Eren’s warm alcohol twinged breath fan against my lips and just the lightest brush of those soft lips of his. I was about to spit the fucking lime out and just bite the bullet and kiss those pouty pink lips like I’d been wanting to for a while now...but a loud crash startled Eren and I. I had to grab his arms to keep him from rolling off the bar and onto the floor.  
  
 I noticed shards of glass and a growing puddle of liquid on the floor behind the bar. I looked up and glared menacingly at whoever had just broke a fucking liquor bottle. I was met with the face of a horse.  
  
 “M-Mikasa wanted t-to see me juggle,” Jean stuttered under my harsh glare.  
  
 “Way to fucking go, Horseface!” Eren started laughing. “You really do suck at everything, don’t you?” He climbed off the bar and was still laughing so hard that he was doubled over holding his side. He went off somewhere muttering something about having to piss. I watched his cute drunk ass stagger away with longing.  
  
 I heard Mikasa snicker at my side. _Fuckin’ little shit._  
  
 I turned to glare at Jean. “Lick it up!” I snapped at him.  
  
 “Uh...what?” He squeaked.  
   
 “You heard me! Lick. it. _up_ ,” I told him as I pointed to the mess of glass and liquor.  
  
 Jean looked absolutely horrified.  
  
 “Levi, you’re a riot!” Hanji giggled. “But there’s glass in there so it would probably be best if Jean just mopped it up instead.”  
  
 “Tch.” Whatever.  
  
 “Why are you so mad, big brother?” Mikasa taunted.  
  
 “You are such a _bitch_ ,” I spat.  
  
 “Hey, it’s not my fault Jean was trying to impress me,” she said.  
  
 “Yeah cause you fucking told him to!”  
  
 “I did no such-”  
  
 “Um, guys?” I almost jumped at the sound of Armin’s voice. Where did he come from? “Are you ready to go? I have to be home in thirty minutes and I’m the only that hasn’t been drinking so I’m driving. Have you seen Eren?” He asked.  
  
 “Armin, where have you been all night?” Mikasa asked.  
  
 “With Hanji mostly, touring the lab. Anyway, Eren?”  
  
 “He went to the bathroom like fifteen minutes ago,” I said.  
  
 “I’ll go look for him!” Mikasa offered.  
  
 “Nope, _I_ will,” I stated and took off in the direction that I saw Eren go.  
  
 “Asshole.” Mika pushed me from behind as she caught up with me. I guess we’re both looking for him then.  
  
 He wasn’t in the downstairs bathroom so Mikasa suggested looking in the kitchen. People were loitering around drinking and talking and some idiot was trying to microwave his phone.  
  
 “Oh my god,” I heard Mikasa gasp next to me.  
  
 “What?”  
  
 She pointed to the corner of the room across from us where I saw Eren making out with Eyebrows. It was disgusting really. It looked Eren was being smothered, he looked so small next to that big ass tree.  
  
 Erwin’s hands were on Eren’s ass as they swapped spit. I shivered in disgust; I think I can see tongue from here.  
  
 “What the fuck?” Mikasa huffed under her breath. When I was finally able to look away from the car wreck, I turned to her to see tears gathering in her eyes.  
  
 I probably shouldn’t be happy that she just found out her crush is gay.  
  
 Armin comes to pull Eren away from Eyebrows eventually and both Mikasa and I are just standing there contemplating our lives.  
  
 She's probably freaking out that Eren’s gay, I’m mulling over the fact that he’d rather make out with an Eyebrow tree than me.  
  
 I swear I see Erwin smirk at me when Eren finally surrenders and lets Armin pull him away. Fuckin’ Eyebrows. I’m drunk enough to seriously consider using my fake sword on his tall ass. I don’t do it though.  
  
 “Armin, I don’t want to go!” Eren whined as we try to lead him outside.  
  
 “Eren, I have a curfew,” Armin reminded him.  
  
 “Fuck your grandfather and his rules,” Eren spat.  
  
 “Wow, rude,” Armin commented with a roll of his eyes. He didn’t seem particularly upset about it though.  
  
 “Your parents are probably worried,” Mikasa offered.  
  
 “Fuck them too!” Eren scoffed.  
  
 “If you stay here and keep drinking, you gonna have an even shitter hangover in the morning, you damn brat,” I told him.  
  
 “Levi, you’re so mean.” He started pouting. “Leeeviii!” He pulled out of Armin’s grip and started running towards me. I got a face full of Eren and barely had time to catch him and keep him from falling to the ground. I held him up in my arms and he just stared down at me with amused eyes.  
  
 “You can hold me? Like, I’m not heavy? That’s so weird cause…cause you’re s-so...s-sh-short!” He started laughing his ass off. I could feel him shaking in my arms from laughing so hard.  
  
 “Eren, what-”  
  
 He’d started to climb all over me. He ended up on my back and wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck. “Leeeeevi, give me a piggyback ride!” He giggled and kicked his legs out.  
  
 I caught his booted foot before it could hit me in the shin. “Whatever makes getting you home easier,” I muttered.  
  
 Eren had passed out against my back before we’d even reached the car. Mikasa and I laid him out between us in the backseat. His head was in Mika’s lap and his lower half was on mine. He had his head buried in Mika’s stomach as his wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled into her. I heard him mumble something along the lines of, “warm abs,” before passing out again.  
  
 Armin drove us home at a snail’s pace. I was dozing off the whole time and must have fallen asleep because I was startled awake by the sound of a car door slamming shut.  
  
 I groaned and made my way out of the vehicle, legs tingling after having fallen asleep.  
  
 “I should get Eren inside and then start walking back to my place,” Armin said. Eren was hanging off one of his arms, barely managing to keep himself upright. I couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not.  
  
 “You live close?” Mika asked.  
  
  Armin nodded. “A few blocks away, really close to the school.”  
  
 “Well, goodnight, Kid,” I told him.  
  
 “Goodnight, Armin, get home safe,” Mikasa added.  
  
 “Yeah, thanks,” he muttered as he started trying to drag Eren inside the Jaeger household.  
  
 Mikasa and I didn’t bother trying to be quiet as we made our way inside our house. The parentals were probably passed out already.  
  
 “Are you still crying?” I teased Mikasa once we got upstairs.  
  
 “No! It was the alcohol,” she snapped, “I just don’t...understand. Eren was definitely checking me out tonight,” she said.  
  
 “Yeah, well me too.”  
  
 “But he seemed-”  
  
 “But he was making out with a _guy,_ Mika.”  
  
 “He was drunk!” She countered.  
  
 “Just admit it, he’s gay,” I told her.  
  
 “No he’s not.” Mika stomped her foot, bit her lip, and glared at the wall. I think I saw new tears forming in her black eyes.  
  
 God alcohol really does make her whiny. “You know, Sis, I think the only one who can accurately tell us is Eren himself,” I stated.  
  
 “You want to _ask_ him?” She huffed incredulously.  
  
 “Not really,” I admitted with a sigh. That would be too obvious.  
  
 “I bet if we asked around...I mean, his friend’s probably know something,” Mikasa suggested.  
  
 “Are you saying we should snoop?” I raised an incredulous eyebrow.  
  
 “I’m saying _I_ deserve an answer. Why would he lead me on if-”  
  
 “He’s gay?” I finished for her with a smirk.  
  
 “You don’t know that for sure yet!” Mikasa snapped, “And even if he is, you still have Erwin to worry about."  
  
 “Fuck Eyebrows,” I scoffed, “he doesn’t have shit on me.”  
  
 "Please, _"_ Mikasa let out a humorless laugh, "he's everything you're _not_. Tall, attractive, good-natured-"  
  
 "You think he's good? The fucker was smirking at me all evilly tonight. Like he was fucking bragging that he scored with Eren, _taunting_ me." Fuck I absolutely hated that shit.  
  
 "Whatever. Eren was drunk, end of story." Mikasa turned to walk to her bedroom.  
  
 "I think someone's in denial," I muttered to myself.  
  
 "Am not!" Mika's angel wings hit me in the face. _  
_  
 Told you she's a devil.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter Levi and Mika go undercover to solve the big question of, what is Eren's sexuality? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Mika seek some answers. Armin loses it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god guys, RUM has hit a hundred kudos! I'm so flattered (✿◠‿◠)

 “Levi, Short-baby, are you even listening to me?” Hanji whined. She was sitting next to me for first period since both our lab partners were absent. We’ve only been in class for thirty minutes and it’s already been torture.  
  
 “Use that nickname again, Shitty-glasses, and I’ll shove my foot so far up your ass you’ll taste my boot,” I muttered as I continued to mindlessly doodle in my notebook.  
  
 Hanji made a dying whale noise again. She was quiet for a few minutes until she decided to peer over my shoulder to scrutinize my drawing. “Is that a dinosaur biting Erwin’s head off?” She questioned.  
  
 Fuck, I probably made the eyebrows a bit too obvious. “No, it’s a _dragon_ ,” I corrected her.  
  
 “Where are the wings then?”  
  
 “Bitch, I’m not done yet!”  
  
 She just giggled. “Hey, Levi? Do you hate Erwin?” She asked once she sobered up.  
  
 “Is it that obvious?” I rolled my eyes.  
  
 “Kinda. I don’t blame you though, he’s been a dick to you, calling you a delinquent and all,” she said.  
  
 “Yeah and for what reason? I don’t even _know_ him,” I huffed.  
  
 “I think he feels threatened by you,” she told me.  
  
 “Threatened? Why?”  
  
 “Well because of Eren.”  
  
 “What about Eren?”  
  
 “Oops, I’ve said too much!” Hanji jumped out of her seat a second before the bell went off, “I have an emergency Science Club meeting, so you’re on your own next period, see ya!” She skipped out of the room before I could ask anything more.  
  
  _But_ what _about Eren?_  


* * *

  
  
 “What are they talking about?” I wondered aloud to myself as I watched Eren and Armin laugh animatedly. Eren started galloping in place. Jean walked by and gave them the stink-eye. Oh, it makes sense now.  
  
 “Are you spying on Eren?” I jumped when a hand came down hard on my shoulder and turned to see my sister glaring at me disapprovingly.  
  
 “No.”  
  
 “But you’re peering at him from behind the corner of this wall-”  
  
 “Spying is such a strong term. I’m merely observing,” I stated, “and I need to talk to Armin,” I admitted.  
  
 “And you’re waiting for Eren to leave?”  
  
 “No shit.”  
  
 “Isn’t your next class on the other side of the school? We only have like a five minute passing per-”  
  
 “Well, then I better make this quick, shouldn’t I?” I said as I watched Eren walk away down the hall.  
  
 I walked up to Armin as he was busy gathering his shit from his locker. “Hey, Kid,” I greeted him. I leaned against the locker next to his.  
  
 “Oh, h-hey, Levi,” he stuttered.  
  
 “So…” How do I be subtle about this? “Do you know if...I mean, does Eren...um…” Fuck it. “Does Eren like dick?” I finally managed to ask.  
  
 Armin blinked at me, his jaw was practically on the floor. He blinked again.  
  
 I shifted in place as I began to feel awkward.  
  
 The fucking bell rang, interrupting once again.  
  
 Armin began to back up slowly as he kept his eyes trained on me, like he was afraid I would attack or something. “Uh...I have to go to class.” He took off running.  
  
 Well that didn’t go as I expected.  


* * *

  
 I was pissed off when lunch came around and Armin wasn’t at the usual table. If anyone could answer my question regarding Eren’s sexuality, it would be the little blond coconut head.  
  
 “You actually asked him that?” Mikasa snickered after I told her about my encounter with Armin.  
  
 “Shut up,” I hushed her. Eren had gone to get pudding or something and the only other ones at the table right now were Jean, Annie, Connie and Sasha. They didn’t seem to be paying attention to us, but still….  
  
 “Mikasa! Can I have your chips?” Sasha asked.  
  
  Mikasa rolled her eyes before she tore open her small bag of Doritos. She looked Sasha straight in the eyes as she raised a chip to her mouth and crunched it viciously between her teeth. “No,” she stated after swallowing loudly.  
  
 Sasha started tearing up. Connie patted her back in condolence.  
  
 I sighed and started to wonder where Eren was and why he left me with these idiots. I swept my eyes across the cafe and found him near one of the snack lines. Fuckin’ Erwin was there, talking to him and all up in his personal space.  
  
  I nudged Mikasa and jerked my head their direction.  
  
 “What does _he_ want?” Mika huffed.  
  
 “Is Erwin bothering Eren again?” Jean asked.  
  
 “Again?” I raised an eyebrow in question.  
  
 “Well, I mean he always does. Apparently he wants to get back together, but Eren isn’t having that,” Jean explained.  
  
 “And _how_ do you know this?” Connie snorted.  
  
 “Kinda hard _not_ to know since Jaeger’s always bitching!” Jean countered.  
  
 “Whatever.” Connie put his hands up in surrender. “I get it, you wouldn’t want people thinking you guys were _friends_ or anything.” He rolled his eyes.  
  
 “Wait, so Erwin is Eren’s ex?” I asked. The fuck...he actually goes for big ass trees like that?  
  
 “Yep.” Jean nodded.  
  
 “How long were they together?” Mika inquired.  
  
 “A while,” Sasha said.  
  
_A while_ wow how fucking informative.  
  
 “How long is a-”  
  
 Annie slammed a hand down on the as she stood up, making us all jump. “I’ll be in the library,” she muttered as she walked off.  
  
 “What’s _her_ problem?” Mikasa scoffed.  
  
 “She doesn’t like talking about Eren, things concerning Eren, and hell I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like Eren himself,” Sasha said.  
  
 “Why?”  
  
 “Oh I don’t know, she’s just been like that ever since they broke up,” Sasha explained.  
  
 “They used to date as well?”  
  
 So does that mean Eren cheated on Annie with Erwin? That must be why she’s so bitter. So Eren is gay and Annie hates him for using her as a beard? That must be it.  
  
 “I know, hard to believe, right? Annie’s so cold most of the time that it seems unlikely she’d ever go for someone as goofy as Jaeger,” Jean said. “Which is why I think she hates him now. She opened up to him which is something she _never_ does and then he goes and breaks her heart…” Jean sighed. “It’s tragic.” He sniffled and wiped a pretend tear from his eye.  
  
 “Quit neighing bullshit, Jean. We don’t even know what happened. If anything, Annie dumped _his_ ass,” Connie snickered.  
  
 “Seems likely,” Sasha agreed as she shook her head enthusiastically.  
  
 “I’m confused,” Mikasa whispered to me.  
  
_Me too, Sis. Me too._   
  
 Unfortunately, Eren came back to the table then and we all had to pretend like we weren’t talking shit about his love life.  


* * *

  
 “We’re not gonna make it, Armin has probably left already!” Mikasa yelled as I pulled her along by her wrist. We were sprinting over to the left wing of the school where Armin’s locker was located.  
  
 “No, he’s got that nerdy after school club today, he should be at his locker right now,” I reassured her.  
  
 “But I want to walk home with Eren!” She complained.  
  
 “And I want to get to the bottom of his shit, so shut up!” I snapped.  
  
 We were out of breath by the time we reached Armin.  
  
 He stared at us wide eyed as we stood in front of him, doubled over and panting.  
  
 “Ar-Armin,” Mikasa wheezed, still out of breath, “we need to ask you something.”  
  
 “Um, what is it?” He looked very worried. I just hope he doesn’t try running away again.  
  
 “So Eren and Erwin used to be a thing, right?” I asked.  
  
 Armin nodded.  
  
 “So is Eren gay?” I inquired.  
  
 “Um, no,” Armin said, still looking very uncomfortable. His eyes kept shifting around.  
  
 “Well I know he dated Annie. So that means he’s straight, right?” Mikasa said.  
  
 “Uh, I mean...ish...he’s straightish,” Armin stated.  
  
 What the fuck does straight-ish mean?  
  
 “So he’s not gay?” I questioned.  
  
 “Well I didn’t say that-”  
  
 “Is he gay or not!?” Mika cut Armin off. Her voice had risen in frustration and it made Armin jump.  
  
 He backed up until his back hit the lockers.  
  
 “Mika, you’re gonna scare him off,” I hissed.  
  
 “H-he’s g-g-gay _ish_ ,” Armin stuttered.  
  
 “Again with the fucking ish!” I threw my hands up in exasperation. What the fuck does it _mean?_   
  
 I heard Armin’s breathing cut off, like he gasped or something. Maybe I offended him?  
  
 “Oh my god!” He yelled all of a sudden and banged his fist against his locker. It made Mika and I jump in surprise. “Oh my god, you two are _so dense_ ! He’s bi! Fucking Bi! He likes dick _and_ pussy! You know that damn ‘N sync song, sing it with me! BI BI BI! BI BI!” Armin fucking exploded. He actually yelled at us. He started waving his arms around as he sang surprisingly in-tune to that damn song.  
  
 “I’m pretty sure that’s not what the song’s about-”  
  
 “Shut up!” Armin screamed at Mikasa. He wagged his finger at her, “ _Shut. it._ ”  
  
 I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  
  
 “So...Eren is bisexual,” I concluded. I knew it. All along.  
  
 “Yes,” Armin hissed. His glare made me fidget and look away. _Me_ , intimidated by a fucking dorky sophomore…unbelievable.   
  
 “Fuck!” Mika threw her head back and started laughing maniacally. Then all of a sudden, she was skipping around and doing a weird little dance that mostly involved her shaking her ass.  
  
 Has everyone gone insane? “Mika, what are you-”  
  
 “Do you know what this means, Levi? I’m still in the game!” She shouted.  
  
 “Right.” Goddammit.  
  
 “Good for you. Although I’m worried Eren won’t be able to put up with either one of you,” Armin sighed.  
  
 Seriously, where’d this snarky bitch come from?  
  
 “Oh don’t worry though, I’m not gonna interfere.” Armin put his hands up to show no harm. “I don’t have time to deal with crazy fuckers like you,” he snickered.  
  
 “Hey, watch it!” I snapped.   
  
 He sneered at me.   
  
 I shrank back and tried to put on my best apologetic expression. Fuck, that childish face of his could be venomous when he wanted it to.  
  
 “But, um…” I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair nervously, “I do have one more question though,” I said.  
  
 Armin didn’t look amused. “What is it?”  
  
 “So blond haired and blue eyed...is that like Eren’s type?” I asked. I mean those were obviously two things Erwin and Annie had in common.  
  
  “I don’t know what his _type_ is,” Armin said. “Is that even a real thing?” He scoffed. “Why don’t you just offer to suck his dick, I don’t know, Eren can be pretty dense as well so don’t think being subtle is going to get you anywhere,” he said.  
  
 “But how do-”  
  
 Armin cut me off, “No! No more questions!” He raised both of his middle fingers at Mikasa and I as he walked away. “Armin out, bitches!”  
  
 Once he left, Mika and I just stared at each other in something akin to shock.  
  
 “You know, he’s kind of terrifying,” Mika muttered. “I kind of want to cry.”  
  
 “Why don’t we just never speak of this again,” I suggested.  
  
 “Agreed.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I went a tad overboard on the Armin thing. Oh well, no regrets....


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki gets hurt, Eren saves the day, and Levi tutors his kohai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter. I appreciate every comment even if I'm shit at replying to them ｡^‿^｡

 I walked into the cafe and sat down at the usual table. I was a bit disoriented since my last class had a movie day and I did nothing but sleep. The sudden shock of the bright school hallways and loud chatter was starting to give me a headache.  
  
  It took me a while to notice that I wasn’t alone. Eren was there, repeatedly banging his head against the table.  
  
 “You alright?” I asked only mildly concerned as I dug my lunch out of my bag. This cafeteria food can go fuck itself, I’d rather have a shitty homemade sandwich.  
  
 Eren jumped like he hadn’t noticed I was there. “Nah.” He sighed and rested his head on the table. He stared up at me with tired blue-green eyes. “I just bombed my test in Algebra 2. I hate math. It’s like I can never concentrate in that class. My other grades are perfect, but if I bomb my next test I’ll be failing the class!”  
  
 “Maybe you just need a tutor,” I suggested.  
  
 “I already talked to Armin about it, he’s wicked smart, but he already tutors freshman and doesn’t have time for me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. My parents will ground me if I don’t bring my grade up!” Eren was practically whimpering now. Part of me thought it was hot like _whimper like that around my dick why don’t cha,_ but then I felt like an ass cause he looked like he was about to cry.  
  
 “Um...I could tutor you. If you want."  
  
 Eren instantly perked up at my offer, almost hopping out of his seat. “Really?”  
  
 “I mean I take AP Calculus and it’s a piece of cake, so you’ll definitely be in good hands,” I told him.  
  
  “That sounds great, Levi!” I almost had the breath knocked out of me when he suddenly pounced on me. I found myself being smothered. _Holy shit he’s hugging me_ . It only lasted about five seconds, to my disappointment. When he pulled away, I sat there staring into space for a moment, just fucking dazed. I’m pathetic.  
  
 “I have work today, but do you think you’ll be available tomorrow after school?” Eren asked.  
  
 “Yeah, definitely,” I told him.  
  
 “Great.” Damn I’d do anything to see him smile.  


* * *

  
  
 “Yuki, fuck off!” I snapped at the devilish fur-ball.  
  
 I was cleaning the house- even more thoroughly than usual- since Eren’s coming over tomorrow, things have to be fucking perfect.  
  
 I had already done downstairs, so I was now trying to sweep upstairs, but for some reason Mikasa’s fucking cat decided to bother me. She’s been following me around, clawing at my legs, knocking over shit I had already straightened...the bitch even had the audacity to puke up a hairball earlier on the kitchen floor I’d just mopped.  
  
 I am done with her shit. “Yuki, get lost.” I kicked at her lightly. She was now attacking the broom I was holding.  
  
 She hissed and swatted at my foot before sinking her fangs into it. She latched on with her claws and curled around it like a kitten, still biting my toes. My socks didn’t offer much protection, and I hissed in pain as her claws refused to let go.  
  
 “Shitty cat!” I finally managed to shake her off after smacking her with the bristles of the broom.  
  
 She meowed at me, giving me what I swear was an evil look, and turned to walk away with her tail swishing rather sassily.  
  
 I sighed and went back to cleaning.  
  
 “Fuck!” I groaned after tripping over something. _You’ve got to be kidding me_. “Mika, why the fuck are your boots laying out here!” I picked up the knee high black leather boots and prepared to throw them at Mika’s open bedroom door.  
  
 “Yuki peed on those, I was gonna throw them out later!” Mika called from her room.  
  
 “Fuckin’ gross!” I immediately dropped the things. “Your cat has no goddamn self-control!” Or common decency.  
  
 “I can’t hear you!”  
  
 I rolled my eyes. “Guess I’ll throw these out,” I muttered as I picked up the boots which I now noticed had the offensive stench of cat piss. Fuck, how had I missed _that_?  
  
 “Levi!” Mikasa yelled.  
  
 “What?” I snapped, “quit fucking yelling and come speak to me like a normal person, Brat!”  
  
 “Could you take the trash out? Mom told me to, but I forgot!”  
  
 “Bitch, do your own chores!”  
  
 “But, Big brother-”  
  
 “No, shut up! And also, throw your own fucking boots out!” I yelled. Fuck this piss smelling things… I threw them over the banister without even a glance. Mika can deal with it.  
  
 I heard the thump as they hit the first level, but I also registered a horrible whining demon like mewing noise. It reminded me of that shitty cat.  
  
 “Yuki?” I looked around in question but couldn’t find the fur-ball anywhere.  
  
 _Oh shit..._ “Mikasa, does Yuki get on the banister?” I called out in question.  
  
 Mika finally appeared from out of her room, rolling her eyes at me like it was pain just to talk to me. “Yeah, why?”  
  
 “Um...I think she just fell,” I told her. She’s probably not dead though, right?  
  
 “What!?”  
  
 “I said, Yuki fell-”  
  
 Mikasa took off running downstairs.  
  
 I followed behind at a much slower pace, almost dreading what we'd find. What if she splattered like a pancake? Then she'd be a catcake. It's unethical.  
  
 I watched as Mikasa scooped up the white cat off the floor.  
  
 Yuki was hissing and biting at her hands, trying to escape. Mikasa struggled to keep a grip on her.  
  
 “Levi, Levi, her paw is broken!” She wailed.  
  
 “I don’t see anything though,” I said. There wasn’t a bone poking out, all her legs looked fine, paws perfectly intact.  
  
 She hissed and finally managed to escape Mika’s arms.  
  
 “Look, she’s limping!” Mika was crying now.  
  
 Sure enough, Yuki was walking on her back left leg weirdly. It dragged awkwardly as though she refused to put weight on it.  
  
 “Mika, if it was broken, she wouldn’t be able to walk at all.”  
  
 “No, she’s in pain!” Mika scooped the cat up again.  
  
 “It wasn’t even that high of a fall,” I tried to reason. I’m sure the little shit will be fine after some rest and a can of her gourmet pet food or someshit.  
  
 “No! Take us to the pet hospital, you dirty animal abuser!” Mikasa yelled.  
  
 “Hey, I didn’t do shit to that cat!” I countered.  
  
 “Really? Then how did she fall? You were the only one out here! Yuki jumps on the railing all the time and never falls!” Mikasa retorted.  
  
 I sighed. It’s not like I meant for this to happen. “All right, I might have hit her with your stupid boots,” I admitted. “Although in my defense, I didn’t see her there and didn’t even notice until I heard the shitty cat hit the floor.”  
  
 “Levi!” Mikasa screeched. I’m sure she would have backhanded me or something if she weren’t holding a struggling cat.  
  
 “You shouldn’t be leaving your shit around!” I told her. “If anything it’s _your_ fault!”  
  
 “Don’t blame _your_ own stupidity on _me_! I’m not the one who hit Yuki!”  
  
 “I didn’t-”  
  
 “You’re so obsessed with your damn cleaning, you almost killed your own sister!” She accused.  
  
 “Whoa, _what_? Mika, she’s a cat-”  
  
 “She is apart of this family!”  
  
 “If anything, wouldn’t she be my niece? I mean it is your cat after all, so you’d be like the mother!” The damn fur-ball is her responsibility after all.  
  
 “Fuck no, I’m too young to be a mother!” Mika yelled.  
  
 “So who the fuck are Yuki’s parents!?”  
  
 “Well technically Mom and Dad _did_ buy her so I guess they are…”  
  
 “That makes sense!” I nodded my head. Although honestly it’s just a damn cat….  
  
 “Why are you still yelling?!”  
  
 “Why are you?!” I retorted.  
  
 “I...don’t even know. Let’s just go to the fucking vet!”  
  
 “Fine!”  


* * *

  
  
 The _Happy Paws_ place smelled like dog and other questionable animal stenches. It should be expected. but it was still unpleasant to my nose.  
  
 The walls were mint green with multi colored paw decals. Posters about the anatomy of animals, how to train demon cats, whatever the fuck else, were scattered around. There were treats on the receptionist desk for both cats and dogs. The waiting seats in front were rather comfy.  
  
 “Yuki Ackerman?” Someone called.  
  
 I immediately looked up at the voice. It had completely slipped my mind that Eren mentioned he worked here, but there he was looking as gorgeous as even in a white labcoat with a clipboard in his arms.  
  
 “Eren!” Mikasa greeted enthusiastically, hopping out of her seat as she cradled Yuki’s hot pink kennel thing in her arms.  
  
 Eren smiled and motioned for us to follow him. We were led to one of the back examining rooms.  
  
 Mika let Yuki out and cradled her gingerly in her arms.  
  
 “I hear Yuki took a fall?” Eren said.  
  
 Mika nodded. “Yeah, she fell off the banister. All the way from the second floor to ground level. I’m worried she fractured something,” Mikasa told him. Tears were gathering in her eyes.  
  
 I wanted to scoff at her pathetic expression, but I’m not that much of an asshole I’ll have you know.  
  
 “Well I’m gonna take her to get some X-rays done, and we’ll see what’s up.”  


* * *

  
  
 “Oh my god, thank you so much, Eren!” Mikasa jumped him, practically cling to his neck.  
  
 I held Yuki’s kennel and tried to keep the obvious scowl off my face.  
  
 Eren looked bewildered as he patted Mika’s back. “I really didn’t do much. I’m just thankful your cat’s okay.”  
  
 In the end, it turned out that Yuki hadn’t broken anything. Her back paw was only slightly swollen so she didn’t want to walk on it. Eren talked to Mika about pain meds and rest and whatever.  
  
 The cat didn’t give him any trouble, which is nice I guess since I don’t want his pretty face all scratched up or anything. Although it makes me wonder why Yuki seems to hate me and _only_ me.  
  
 We paid, got the receipt from the receptionist, and said our goodbyes to Eren. Mikasa seemed particularly pleased with herself for stealing a hug.  
  
 I shoved Yuki’s kennel into her arms once we were outside.  
  
 “You know, I still don’t forgive you for hurting Yuki,” she told me.  
  
 “Funny, I never said I was sorry.”  


* * *

  
  
 “What’s up with you?” Mikasa asked as we walked out the school’s main doors.  
  
 “Nothing,” I muttered. I might have been feeling a bit jittery since my first tutoring session with Eren was today.  
  
 “Right,” Mika deadpanned. “Well, I’m hanging out Annie today, so I’ll be home later.”  
  
 “You actually like that chick?” I scoffed. I haven’t heard Annie speak more than five words.  
  
 “She’s alright. No more scary than you,” Mika teased. “And she’s the only girl who’s not intimidated by me. I wonder what I did to make Sasha so weary of me?” She mused to herself.  
  
 “Whatever.” Like I care.  
  
 “See ya.” She walked off in the direction of student parking lot.  
  
 “Hey, Levi, where’s Mikasa?” Eren asked as I met up with him by the front of the school.  
  
 “Hanging with Ice-bitch. It’s just us today,” I told him.  
  
 “I’m not even gonna ask who _icebitch_ is.” He sighed, shaking his head with a grin.  


* * *

  
  
 “So, I’m fucking thirsty, want anything?”  
  
 “Soda please, any kind.”  
  
 “Gotcha.”  
  
 I grabbed two cans of Dr. Pepper from the fridge as well as a bag of chips from the pantry and made my way back to the living room.  
  
 Eren was sitting by the coffee table, spreading out his notebook and supplies. Ew, I see a textbook. The only thing those are ever good for are hitting people over the head.  
  
 “So, Kid, whataya need help with?” I asked, plopping down besides him.  
  
 “Pssh, _everything_ ."  
  
  “Helpful,” I muttered.  
  
 He sighed. “I’ve been lost since the beginning of the semester. Quadratic functions, polynomials, the fucking Quadratic formula...who the hell can remember that shit? It doesn’t help that my mind decides to totally blank out in that class.” He looked down with a pouty face like he was embarrassed to admit it.  
  
 “Well we all have our weaknesses,” I mused. “I mean, I was complete shit in Chemistry sophomore year and I was too ashamed to ask for help, so like a dumbass, I almost had to retake the class,” I admitted. “But I’m _not_ gonna let that happen to you, okay?” I stated.  
  
 Eren nodded a tiny bit, a small smile pulling at his lips. “Yeah, thanks, Levi.”  
  
 I looked away from his sincere fucking eyes that threatened to drown me. “Don’t thank me yet, Bright-eyes, I’ve never tutored anyone before and I might do a shit job.”  
  
 “Mmhm, maybe," he agreed in a way that sounded more like 'mmhm, probably'  
  
 “Don’t get cheeky, brat.”

 

* * *

  
  
 “That’s way easier to understand than how my teacher explained it,” Eren said.  
  
 He wasn’t lying when he said he was complete shit at math, but we had managed to make progress anyways. I guess I actually do have it in me to teach people. I only yelled at the kid half a dozen times, threatened to stab myself with a pencil, and ripped apart a textbook, but he's plowing through equations like a semi-average student now.  
  
 “Meow.” Yuki hopped on the coffee table and started pawing at Eren’s pencil. I thought the damn thing was asleep in Mika’s room or something.  
  
 “Yuki, don’t be fucking rude,” I scolded.  
  
 Eren chuckled and scratched the flea-bag's head. She started purring like a good pussy and sat her furry ass right on top of his homework.  
  
 “Doesn’t your paw hurt you fuck- I mean delightful fur-ball, you?” I patted her head a tad harder than necessary. She glared and swatted at my hand.  
  
 “She seems way better. The swelling has gone down reasonably,” Eren observed.  
  
 “Thank goodness, I love her furry ass to bits,” I said. I tried to sound sincere, really I did.  
  
 Eren smirked at my monotonous voice. “You don’t like cats, do you?”  
  
 “What? Who said that?”  
  
 “I kinda figured, she doesn’t seem to like you either,” Eren told me.  
  
 Well then….  
  
 He laughed at my offended face.

 “I think Mikasa trained her to hate me,” I said.  
  
 “Yeah, that must be it,” he snickered.  
  
 “Do you feel any more confident about that test coming up?” I asked.  
  
 “Yes, way better,” he admitted.  
  
 “Well if you ever need more help, you can always come to me,” I told him. “In fact, we should exchange numbers in case.”  
  
 “Oh? That’s weird, I thought you already had my number,” Eren said.  
  
 I think I would know, and I most definitely don’t. I stared at him with a blank face.  
  
  “It’s just that I told Mikasa to give it to you. She and I exchanged numbers the first day we met,” Eren explained.  
  
 “Well I’m sure it just slipped her mind.” That fucking bitch.  
  
 “Yeah, probably. But give me your phone anyway.”  
  
 I handed Eren my phone after unlocking it and he tapped his number in.  
  
 “What are you doing?” I asked as he proceeded to take a lame ass selfie.  
  
 “Setting my contact picture, of course.” He grinned and chucked my phone back at me.  
  
 I heard the front door open and my mother’s voice call out, “I’m home!”  
  
 “No one cares!” I yelled back.  
  
 Eren chuckled. “I should get going.” He started packing his shit up. Yuki mewed at him and he gave her one last pat.  
  
 I walked him to the door and we bumped into my mother on the way.  
  
  “Hello, Eren it’s nice to see you.” She greeted Eren with a smothering hug.  
  
  I saw him wince a little. Mom has a death grip. “Yeah, Levi was just helping me study,” he told her.  
  
 “That’s good. Well, say hello to your parents for me.”  
  
 “Sure thing. See ya, Levi.”  


* * *

  
  
 My bedroom door banged open as I was laying in bed, hanging off the edge and trying to play a game on my phone upside down.  
  
 “Levi!” Mikasa yelled.  
  
 “What?” I muttered, not looking away from my phone.  
  
 “I heard Eren was over today?” She started.  
  
 “Yeah, what of it?” I sighed. “Oh and, Mika, you’re a bitch,” I told her.  
  
 “And why, pray tell am I a bitch?” She questioned, crossing her arms as she glared at me.  
  
 “You didn’t mention shit about having Eren’s number,” I said.  
  
 “Oh...I guess I forgot,” she lied.  
  
 “Bullshit,” I muttered.  
  
 “So...what did you two get up to? Were you really studying?” She asked.  
  
 “Nah. I fucked him in your bed,” I deadpanned.  
  
 “Levi!”  
  
 I snickered and sat up to look at her as her face turned red.  
  
 “You’re lying!” She accused.  
  
 “Am I though?” I raised an eyebrow in a teasing manner.  
  
 “You’re so lying.”  
  
 “You’ll never know.”  
  
 “Bullshit, my bed is perfectly clean, and it doesn’t smell like your foul ass so I sure as hell bet you’re bluffing!” She turned and stomped out of the room with a grimace eating at her face.  
  
  “He’s a screamer! Moans like a wanton slut!” I called after her.  
  
 “Fuck you!”  
  
 “Eren already did!”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi go on a date (not really) and everybody loves picking on Jean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter turned out totally different than I had planed. I rewrote it twice ughhh =＾● ⋏ ●＾=

 “So how’s life going over there, Levi-bro?” Isabel asked.  
  
 “Fuck, Isabel, back away a little why don’t you? I can see up your nose from this angle,” I teased.  
  
 She huffed and backed away from the camera. “I want to ensure that you can see my glorious face, and Farlan’s laptop is shitty!”  
  
 “Did I hear my name?” Farlan’s voice sounded over the speakers as he stepped into the frame. He handed Isabel the mug of chocolate milk she’d requested. “Hey, Levi, are there any hot chicks over there?”  
  
 I sighed and rolled my eyes. Why did I even bother skyping these fuckers? “Have you forgotten that I’m gay? I don’t know, most of them look pretty decent I guess,” I said.  
  
 “Oh ohhh, what about the guys!?” Isabel questioned.  
  
 “Nothing special,” I muttered a bit too quickly as I unintentionally flickered my eyes away from the laptop and began to fiddle with a pencil sitting on the desk. My face feels hot and I really hope I’m not fucking blushing. Since when do I get flustered anyway? All because of that bright-eyed asshole….  
  
 “Liar!” Isabel accused with a laugh. “You can’t even look at us!”  
  
 “I think he’s trying not to blush,” Farlan taunted.  
  
 “Fuck you guys!” I spat, meeting their eager stares again with a glare.  
  
 “Nah, save that for your _crush_.” Isabel started making kissy noises with an exaggerated face.  
  
 I scowled at her. “Don’t pucker your lips like that, you’ll end up looking like a fish for the rest of your life. And I _don’t_ have a crush.”  
  
 “Why won’t you just admit it. Are you embarrassed or something?”  
  
 “Well it _does_ sound juvenile,” I muttered, “but no, I’m not, and that’s because I don’t even like anyone.”  
  
 “Right." Farlan didn't seem convinced.  
  
 “You’re no fun,” Isabel told me.  
  
 “Of course I’m not, you already know this.”  
  
 “Whatever. Anyway, anyway!” She started bouncing in her seat. “Guess what, Big-bro?”  
  
 “What?”  
  
 “You know that thanksgiving break is coming up…”  
  
 “Yeah, and?”  
  
 “Well my ‘rents said it’d be alright if I visited you for break, if you’ll have me of course, but why _wouldn’t_ you want me there? Anyway, Farlan’s parents agreed as well and we already got plane tickets!” Isabel had her hands thrown in the air now as she announced all of this excitedly.  
  
 “What? You’re gonna come all the way over here?” I asked with mild disbelief.  
  
 “Of course, we miss you!” Isabel said.  
  
 “Don’t you miss us?” Farlan asked with a knowing smirk on his face, likely already knowing my response.  
  
 “Hell no,” I scoffed.  
  
 “Levi-bro sucks at lying,” Isabel huffed.  
  
 “Definitely,” Farlan agreed.  
   
 “Whatever, assholes, I guess there’s no helping it if you already bought plane tickets.”  
   
 “Yeah and totally _not_ because you miss us or anything.” Farlan rolled his eyes.  
   
 I slammed my laptop shut.

* * *

 _  
  
_  “Levi, can I take a sample of your hair?” Hanji asked as we walked to lunch.  
  
 “Fuck no, you four-eyed freak.”  
  
 “M’kay, maybe tomorrow!” She hopped away like a bunny on speed. What even?  
  
 “Hey, Big brother,” Mikasa greeted as I sat down at the usual table. Her eyes were tired and there wasn’t the edge in her voice she usually had when addressing me.  
  
 “What happened to you?” I questioned with a raised eyebrow.  
  
 She just sighed. “It’s the last day before break, what else?”  
  
 “Right.” Everybody gets restless in days like these. “Why didn’t I skip?” I asked myself.  
  
 “Levi! I aced my test!” Eren barreled into the cafe shouting. He nearly ran into the table. He was suddenly by my side, hopping in place.  
  
 “Oh yeah, that’s why.”  
  
 “Huh?”  
  
 “Nothing. That’s great! I’m glad my tutoring helped,” I told him.  
  
 He gave me a blinding smile.  
  
 Is my heart racing? I think the kid’s trying to kill me; turn me into a pile of mush. “Hmm...we should celebrate,” I suggested.  
  
 “Yeah, definitely! Why don’t we get milkshakes after school at the Garrison. It’s this great little diner that has the _best_ sweets. It’ll be my treat, to thank you for being such an awesome tutor,” he said.  
  
_Well if you really want to ‘thank me’ you could start with a blowjob._ “Sounds nice.”  
  
 I heard Mikasa huff next to me. “Sounds amazing, you ass,” she hissed under her breath.  
  
 “Oh did I hear something about the Garrison!?” Sasha squealed. “They have the most amazing cheese burgers!”  
  
 “I would let a group of circus clowns gang-bang me if it meant getting a taste of their onion rings!” Connie remarked.  
  
 “Connie, why the fuck would something like that ever happen?” Jean asked while looking quite disturbed.  
  
 “Shut up, Jean.” Connie flipped him off. “Hey, doesn’t Marco work there?”  
  
 Jean perked up at that. “I can’t believe I forgot. I think he should be there today.”  
  
 “Hey, hey, Eren, we should _all_ go after school!” Sasha suggested.  
  
 “Yeah, to visit Marco.” Jean nodded his head vigorously.  
  
_What? No! You filthy fuckers, stop.  
  
 _ “I want to see if there burgers are as good as they’re rumored to be,” Mikasa said.  
  
 I turned to glare at her. What’s happening? We are all these bastards inviting themselves on _my_ date?  
  
 “Sure,” Eren said.  
  
 I looked at him with just a hint of betrayal in my gaze. I swear I’m falling through a spiraling pitch black void right now….  
  
 “Yay, group outing!” Sasha punched the air with her hand.

* * *

  
  
 The Garrison Diner actually wasn’t too shabby. It had a vintage feel with it’s red vinyl booths and black and white checkered floors.  
  
 “Hey, kids!” A tall blond guy behind the counter greeted us when we walked in.  
  
 “Hey, Hannes.” Eren waved at him.  
  
 “Sup, Hannes my man!” Connie shouted.  
  
 “Hannes owns this place,” Sasha informed me.  
  
 There was a struggle for seating arrangements and at the end of it all, I had to ask myself, _just how did I end up here?_ Squished between my sister and a horse.  
  
 On the opposite booth, Sasha sat to my left, Connie across from me, Eren to my right seated by the window and across from Mika.  
  
 Our server ended up being Marco, of course, and he and Jean spent about five minutes talking about utter bullshit- Jean with hearts in his eyes the whole time- before Sasha interjected with a whine of, “Come on I’m actually hungry here!”  
  
 I ordered a simple chocolate shake. My sister stayed true to her word and ordered a cheese burger. I didn’t pay attention to what the others got, but I noted that Eren got a ‘Chunky Monkey’ milkshake with a side of fries.  
  
 “I gotta piss,” Jean felt the need to announce as he stood up and walked to the back of the diner, presumably to the restrooms.  
  
 “I thought Sea-biscuit was straight,” I said once I was sure he was out of hearing distance.  
  
 “He is. Well, claims to be,” Sasha giggled “but anyone with working eyes can see that he’s got a thing for Marco.”  
  
 “And yet he still insisted on sitting next to me.” Mikasa shuddered.  
  
 “I should’ve let him,” I snickered.  
  
 She elbowed me in the gut. “You’re supposed to protect me, _Big brother_.”  
   
 “Horseface is hardly a threat."  
  
 “True. Unless you’re Eren...he hates Eren,” Connie said.  
  
 “The feelings mutual,” Eren huffed.  
  
 “Why can’t we all just be friends?” Sasha said.  
  
 “Uh...cause he’s a bastard?” Eren looked at her like she was crazy.  
  
 Marco came over with our food then. “Enjoy and call me if you need anything,” he said before walking off.  
  
 Jean came out of the bathroom and started whining that he’d missed Marco. I rolled my eyes and sipped on my milkshake which turned out to be admittedly better than I expected, and to be honest probably the best shake I’ve ever had.  
  
 “Like your shake, Levi?”  
  
 “‘S fine.”  
  
 “So what are you gonna do over break, Sash?”  
  
 “Eat and sleep of course! Maybe some video games. Ugh, but my relatives are all coming over for Thanksgiving and…”  
  
 “Are any of you gonna go to the fall festival?”  
  
 “Maybe, only if…”  
  
 I sipped on my shake quietly in favor of participating in any conversation. Why would I want to talk to the fuckheads that ruined my alone time with Eren?  
  
 Speaking of Eren, he looked really good with those pink lips of his wrapped around that straw... _wait did he just?_ “Did you just dip a _fry_ in your milkshake?” I asked with barely contained disgust.  
  
 He grinned at me. “It’s good that way. Don’t knock it ‘till you try it.” He dipped another fry into the brown slush of his shake and held it out to me.  
  
 Well I can’t say it doesn’t look inviting like that. I took the offered fry with my mouth, and if I accidentally licked his finger in the process no can blame me. I proceeded to chew cautiously. It tasted a little weird at first, sure, but the combination of salty and sweet was surprisingly pleasant.  
  
 “Delicious, right?” Eren asked, eyes bright with a glint of amusement.  
  
 “Delicious,” I agreed with an extra lick to my lips.  
  
 “Mikasa are you alright? Your face is all red,” Connie said.  
  
 I turned to stare at my sister. If I had to guess, I’d say she was internally seething right now if that glare she was giving me was anything to go by.  
  
 “I’m fine, I think I just ate a pepper,” she answered in a monotone voice.  
  
 “Since when do they put peppers in the burgers?” Sasha pondered.  
  
 “Must be a new thing,” she snapped, making Sasha jump.  
  
 Sasha put her hands up. “Okay, sorry for wondering.”  
  
 “Mikasa, you’re so cool.” Jean sighed in a kind of dreamy way as he gazed at Mika with awe.  
  
 “Levi, can you punch him in the face for me?” Mika asked.  
  
 “I don’t know-”  
  
 “I’ll give you twenty bucks. I’d do it myself, but I don’t want to touch him.”  
  
 “I’ll only do it for forty.” And if you want me to pull out my brass knuckles, that’ll be an extra twenty.  
  
 “Deal.”  
  
 I turned to face Jean. He stared at me for a second then he yelped, jumped up, and ran away screaming about going to find Marco cause “he’s probably on break! Most likely!”  
  
 “Don’t get kicked out of the diner again, Jean!” Eren called after him.  
  
 “No promises!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably not my best chapter. Sorry for the abrupt ending. Next chapter should be fun tho cause I'm totally stoked to bring in Farlan and Isabel! ^ↀᴥↀ^ Oh and how do you feel about a Mika POV?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang (with new additions Farlan and Isabel) attend a carnival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. This chapter was totally fun to write though and I really hope you like it (^･o･^)ﾉ”

 It was the first day of Thanksgiving break and I was planning on sleeping in until noon...That is of course until I found myself being rudely awakened by a hyperactive redhead. She wouldn’t stop screeching as she jumped up and down, making the bed bounce.  
  
 “Who let you in here?” I groaned as I placed a pillow over my head.  
  
 “Your parents! They picked Farlan and I up from the airport,” Isabel explained, “said you were too ‘tired’ to accompany them. I can’t believe you, Levi-bro, you’re not even excited enough to want to see us as soon as possible!” She whined. At least the bouncing had stopped.  
  
 “I like sleep. I no like you. It’s simple, really.”  
  
 “You’re such a sour-puss. And it’s already two in the afternoon.”  
  
 Well I guess my plans hadn’t been ruined after all. Why the hell am I still tired then?  
  
 “Get the fuck out of my room, I’ll be down in a minute.”

* * *

_  
  
 _ As I made my way downstairs, the smell of pizza assaulted my senses. I walked into the dining room to find Isabel, Farlan, and my sister occupying the table. I scrunched my nose in disgust at the way Farlan was gobbling down his food.  
  
 “Levi, eat.” My mother placed a plate on the table.  
  
 I took a seat next to Mikasa. “I just want coffee.”  
  
 “It’s the middle of the afternoon,” Mom scoffed.  
  
 “That’s all you ever want. No wonder you’re such a midget,” Mikasa snickered.  
  
 “Well if I had my fucking tea-”  
  
 “No one cares about your tea obsession,” Farlan muttered after swallowing a large bit of food obnoxiously loud.  
  
 “Eat your damn pizza,” Mom ordered before leaving the dining room.  
  
 “So, Levi, what are we gonna do today? You should introduce us to your new friends!” Isabel suggested.  
  
 “That is if he’s managed to make any,” Farlan teased, eyes scrunched in mirth.  
  
 I threw a slice of pizza at him. It stuck to his face in a cheesy, saucy mess. He just scraped it off and started to eat it.  
  
 “Disgusting,” I grumbled under my breath.  
  
 “For some reason, I don’t think people here are as intimidated by Levi as they are back home,” Mika commented.  
  
 “Could it be, he’s getting nicer?” Isabel gasped.  
  
 “Ha, the King of Mean? You’re kidding,” Farlan seemed amused at the mere thought.  
  
 “I’m not that bad, you fuckers.” Am I?  
  
 “Eh.”  
  
 “Well…”  
  
 They all kind of made noncommittal noises. Assholes.

* * *

_  
  
 _ “You missed me? You love me? Yes you do, yes you do,” Isabel cooed to the white furball in her arms.  
  
 Yuki was purring, nuzzling her happily.  
  
 “Demon cat,” I hissed under my breath. “It seems like demons only like other demons.”  
  
 “Quit insulting Yuki...Don’t compare her to Isabel,” Mikasa muttered.  
  
 “Oh, Mikasa, you’re so nice.” Isabel said. “I bet you shit sunshine!” She giggled sardonically.  
  
 “Sparkles, actually,” Mikasa retorted.  
  
 “Even better!”  
  
 “So, Mikasa,” Farlan started, changing the subject; most likely trying to avoid the inevitable bitch-fight we all knew was coming if they went on any longer like that, “do you like it here? Do you...um... _like_ anyone here?”  
  
 Or you know, he was just trying to hit on my sister. Like always.  
  
 “I like it here, sure. It’s alright. I don’t have to deal with you everyday, so that’s a plus. And if you must know, yes there is someone who has caught my eye. I assure you, he’ll be my boyfriend soon,” Mikasa said, she directed a sharp glare in my direction as she said the last part.  
  
 “You’re delusional,” I spat.  
  
 “I don’t follow?” Farlan murmured, switching glances between Mikasa and I, probably aware of the sudden hostility in the air. Hadn’t that always been there though?  
  
 My phone buzzed in my pocket then, distracting me from my glaring contest. _Hoh, a text from Eren?  
_  
  Hey Levi u and Mikasa should come hang with us at the fall festival! I wanna meet ur friends  
 My eyes lit up at the text. Maybe I could just leave Mika behind?  
  
 Sure I replied.  
  
 My phone buzzed again a moment later. Cool. meet us outside in 5  
  
 “What are you grinning at?” Isabel asked.  
  
 “Nothing.”  
  
 “Texting his crush perhaps?” Farlan taunted.  
  
 “Ohh!” Isabel giggled.  
  
 I rolled my eyes.  
  
 “I would hope not,” Mikasa said.  
  
 I glared at her. _Yep definitely not inviting this bitch.  
  
 _ “Well, why don’t I show you two losers around town? Bye, Mika!” I called over my shoulder as I tugged both Farlan and Isabel out of the house by their wrists.  
  
 “Hey, why didn’t you invite Mikasa along?” Farlan asked.  
  
 “How many times have I told you to stay away from my baby sister, you freak.” I whacked him upside the head.  
  
 “Hey! I just don’t want her to feel left out is all,” Farlan explained.  
  
 “Sure,” I snorted, skeptical.  
  
 “So, Levi-bro, where are we going first!?” Isabel asked in excitement.  
  
 “Well-”  
  
 “Levi!” I heard a honey-like voice call out. Eren was waving from where he stood at the end of the street with Armin.  
  
 “A festival,” I muttered as I led Isabel and Farlan along.  
  
 “Oh who’s that? He’s hot!” Isabel yelled, jerking on my arm and staring eagerly in Eren’s direction.  
  
 “Shut up,” I hissed at her.  
  
 “He’s really hot,” she whispered, somehow not any quieter.  
  
 I gave her a withering look that she pointedly ignored.  
  
 “Hey-” I barely had time to greet Eren before Isabel interrupted,  
  
 “I’m Isabel, who’re you?” She eagerly shook hands with a bewildered looking Eren.  
  
 “Eren...Jaeger,” he muttered, kinda dazed from being shaken so much.  
  
 “Cool, and you?” She asked an apprehensive looking Armin.  
  
 “A-Armin,” he stuttered as she pulled him into a death gripping handshake that had him teetering on his feet.  
  
 I rolled my eyes, Farlan chuckled.  
  
 “Forgive Isabel, she was raised by wolves,” I said.  
  
 “Mountain cats, Levi,” Isabel corrected, poking her tongue out. “Wolves certainly don’t appreciate a good handshake.”  
  
 “Hey, I’m Farlan, nice to meet you.”  
  
 At least I had one sane friend.  
  
 “Likewise.”  
  
 “So is Mikasa not coming?” Eren asked.  
  
 “She didn’t want to,” I told him.  
  
 “You didn’t even as-”  
  
 I cut Farlan off with an elbow to his gut. He choked on his own spit.  
  
 So what’s this I hear about a festival?” Isabel asked.  
  
 “It’s more like a carnival, just with a lot of dancing and homemade food as well.”  
  
 “Awesome, that’s…” She started to excitedly chatter. Great, now she’ll never stop.

* * *

_  
  
 _ Like Eren said, it was basically a carnival.  
  
 Rides were set up along with those stupid midway booths, but there were also a ton of stalls advertising things like ‘fresh pumpkin pie’ and ‘homemade apple cider’ and whatever the fuck, plus towards the back out on the open field there was live music and people were dancing around like it was a common hoedown or something.  
  
 “We should go on the ride!” Isabel announced. I looked up at the spinning, twirling contraption she was pointing at.  
  
 “I prefer _not_ puking,” I said.  
  
 “Save it for later.” Farlan patted her on the head.  
  
 “Hey, guys!”  
  
 Connie and Sasha along with Horseface and Marco came over to greet us.  
  
 Sasha had a shiny red candy apple sticking out of her mouth and her arms held around three bags of colored popcorn. Connie cradled a large stuffed dog in his arms. It almost towered over the poor kid. I raised an eyebrow at the sight of Jean and Marco holding hands.  
  
 “We just lost Historia and Ymir on the ferris wheel!” Sasha proclaimed after handing her candy apple to Connie.  
  
 “What did they fall out and splatter?” I deadpanned. _Ha, I’m hilarious.  
  
 _ “Haha! No, they just refused to quit making out so we had to leave them. On the upside, Jean finally confessed his love to Marco!” She announced.  
  
 “Finally grew some balls, Horseface?” Eren snickered.  
  
 “Yeah, they’re bigger than yours!” Jean retorted.  
  
 “Huh? I wasn’t aware you’ve ever seen my dick, Jean-boy,” Eren hissed.  
  
 “Who would _want_ to?” Jean spat.  
  
 Uh, should I raise my hand? Ha.  
  
 “You don’t look that much like a horse,” Isabel interrupted their little squabble.  
  
 “Huh?” Jean murmured.  
  
 “Your face, it’s not _that_ horsey,” she clarified.  
  
 “Really, you think so? Hey, I uh...I like you-” Horseface looked pleased.  
  
 “It’s more donkey-ish,” Isabel concluded.  
  
 Jean’s grin vanished.  
  
 I stifled a laugh. Farlan snickered. Armin looked slightly anxious. Eren was laughing his ass off.  
  
 “Who’re you anyway?” Jean asked. “And you?” He pointedly stared at Farlan.  
  
 “I’m Isabel.”  
  
 “And I’m Farlan.”  
  
 “Do you guys like caramel popcorn?” Sasha asked.  
  
 “Yeah…”  
  
 “There my friends from back home,” I stated.  
  
 “No wonder she’s rude, if she hangs with the likes of you,’ Jean muttered under his breath.  
  
 “What was that?” I narrowed my eyes at him.  
  
 “Uh…” He went wide-eyed and gulped.  
  
 “I think you should win me a stuffed animal, Jean, let’s go.” Marco started tugging him away, laughing nervously. “See you guys!” He called over his shoulder.  
  
 “Well...who wants to ride that fierce looking twisty ride with me!?” Isabel asked.  
  
 “Cool, let’s do it,” Eren said.  
  
 “Oh, Connie, it’s a two seater, let’s go!” Sasha squealed.  
  
 “I’m gonna go home,” Armin announced.  
  
 Everybody ran off and I found myself left alone with Farlan.  
  
 “What the fuck?” Fucking Isabel….  
  
 “Hey, Levi, isn’t that-” Farlan was cut of by an annoying voice. The voice belonging to the bane of my existence…  
  
 “Big-brother!” Mikasa waved as she walked over with an apathetic looking Annie at her side.  
  
 “What are _you_ doing here?” I hissed.  
  
 “Having fun. You should try it,” Mikasa mocked. “Oh and you also could’ve told me you’d be here with _Eren_ ,” she said.  
  
 “It slipped my mind. He didn’t even invite you, if you were wondering,” I told her.  
  
 “I smell bullshit,” she sneered. “Anyway, let’s go play that shooting game, Annie.” They walked away, Mika ignoring me as I flicked her off and Annie looking bored as ever.  
  
 “What was that about?” Farlan questioned.  
  
 “Dunno. Mika’s insane. Let’s go get some fucking candy apples.”

* * *

_  
  
 _ Eren and Isabel met up with Farlan and I as we stumbled off some ride that did nothing but flip us upside down as we rotated through the air; effectively flipping my stomach into my mouth. Fuck, I shouldn’t have ate that candy apple.  
  
 “Dude, you should get on the ride we just went on!” Isabel exclaimed.  
  
 Her pigtails were nearly coming undone. Eren’s hair was a mess as well. _Fuck amusement park hair_ , I thought as I carded my fingers through my own wind blown hair. Eren still looked adorable though.  
  
 “Maybe after we get something to drink…”  
  
 “Big-brother!” Something came barreling into my back, nearly knocking me over.  
  
 “What the hell, Mika?” I huffed. She had her arms locked painfully tight around me.  
  
 “Annie had to leave, so I thought I’d hang out with you guys,” she said.  
  
 I pushed her away from me. “Whatever.”  
  
 “I thought you didn’t want to come?” Eren asked, staring confusedly at my sister.  
  
 Shit. “I want funnel cake!” I announced loudly, before Mikasa could respond.  
  
 “Oh, sounds good!” Isabel cheered.  
  
 Thankfully, Mikasa didn’t get the chance to say anything after that. We walked to a booth promising funnel cake with unlimited toppings and seven different choices of hot beverages.  
  
 I tugged at Farlan’s sleeve. “What?” He asked.  
  
 “Remember how I said to stay away from Mikasa?”  
  
 “You mean what you _always_ say?” He scoffed. “Yeah, of course.”  
  
 “Well, disregard that tonight,” I told him.  
  
 “Huh?”  
  
 “Come on, I know you want to bang my sister.”  
  
 “Hey!” He had the gall to sound offended.  
  
 I rolled my eyes. “Do you or do you not want to get in her pants?”  
  
 “I mean...yes. But I’ll have you know that I also long for intelligent conversation and snuggles. Maybe even a bit of intimate eye contact, ya know?"  
  
 “I’m a second away from punching you in the face, snarky bastard. You know I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again,” I threatened, “anyway, whatever you do just keep her occupied,” I told him.  
  
 “Why?”  
  
 “No reason! Now just...keep her away from Eren,” I ordered.  
  
 “Oh, so _that’s_ it.” Farlan waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “You _like_ Eren.”  
  
 “I don’t-”  
  
 “You wanna hug him,” he taunted in a singsong voice, “you wanna smooch him...you wanna-”  
  
 “Pound his cute little ass into the mattress,” I finished for him.  
  
 His face scrunched up in disgust. “Dude, T M fucking I.”  
  
 “Look, are you gonna go hit on my sister, or not?”  
  
 “I’ll do it,” he stated with a tone of conviction and a clenched fist. “Just don’t blame me when she falls irrevocably in love with me and I end up becoming your brother-in-law.”  
  
 “I absolutely fucking hope that doesn’t ever happen!”

* * *

_  
  
 _ Mikasa looked beyond displeased as Farlan practically hanged off her arm all night.  
  
 It started when we got our food. The funnel cakes were huge so we figured two people could share one. Isabel claimed she could handle one on her own. I said I’d share with Eren cause wouldn’t it be awkward sharing with Farlan who he barely knew? I watched in amusement as Mikasa and Farlan shared a chocolate funnel cake. Of course they had forks, and Mikasa ate in dainty pulls of bread, but then Farlan decided to try and reenact the famous spaghetti scene from Lady and The Tramp. All he ended up with was a pissed off Mikasa and a plastic fork sticking out of his arm.  
  
 Now we stood at a midway booth, watching as Farlan attempted to win a stuffed Panda bear for Mikasa.  
  
 I watched on in utter merriment, snickering to myself as Farlan got into a verbal spat with the booth attendant and Mikasa wearily tried to pull him away. They both had to be escorted away. Farlan gave me a thumbs up as he was dragged away by security.  
  
 “You know, I think I’d be good at this,” I announced as I handed my hot chocolate to Isabel for safekeeping.  
  
 “Oh, Levi-bro wants to win a stuffed animal?” Isabel questioned.  
  
 “Why not? Looks like fun. So, Eren, which one do you want?” I asked.  
  
 “You don’t have to do that,” he protested, “you should get one for yourself.”  
  
 “Which one do you want?” I asked again.  
  
 “Hmm...well the blue and pink penguin _is_ pretty cute,” he admitted.  
  
 I stared at the penguin plush hanging on the wall. It was hot pink with a blue belly and a purple beak. I peered into it’s beady eyes. _You’re mine, Fucker.  
  
 _ The game was pretty simple, shoot all the moving targets and whatnot. I paid the attendant and took those fuckers down easy-peasy.  
  
 “Awesome. What do you want as your prize?” The attendant asked.  
  
 I pointed to the damn penguin. I could barely see over the top of it as it was placed into my arms.  
  
 I handed it over to Eren who was waiting with open, eager arms. _Goddammit, stop being cute_.  
  
 He buried his face in the fur as he hugged it to himself. “Thanks.” He peered at me with vibrant blue-green eyes over the top of the penguin.  
  
 I smiled at him. “No problem, Bright-eyes.”  
  
 “Eren, you should name it,” Isabel told him.  
  
 “What though? I don’t want to be boring and pick something like Max or Mr. Fluffers…” Eren mused.  
  
 “You should name it after Levi-bro!” Isabel suggested.  
  
 “So...what, like Shortie? I should name it Shortie,” Eren said with a taunting smirk on his stupid sunny face.  
  
 “I will take that penguin back, Brat,” I threatened.  
  
 He chuckled. “How about Lee then?"  
  
 Isabel clapped her hands and squealed, “perfect!”  
  
 I nodded. “That I can live with.”

* * *

_  
  
 _ “Ferris wheel time! We can’t leave without riding the ferris wheel!” Isabel exclaimed.  
  
 “There’s three of us-”  
  
 “Someone’s riding with me!”  
  
 It was early night now, and the ferris wheel was lit up, sparkling multicolored lights in the dark navy of the sky.  
  
 “Hey, there you guys are!” Farlan and Mikasa were, to my surprise, already in line for the ferris wheel.  
  
 “Planning a romantic ride together?” I smirked.  
  
 Mikasa shuddered. Farlan just had a shit eating grin as he proclaimed, “yes, it’s gonna be great.”  
  
 “Most definitely not!” Mikasa scoffed.  
  
 “Oh, Mika, that’s okay, I’ll ride with you,” Isabel offered. She winked conspicuously at me. “Farlan can watch over Lee.”  
  
 “Who’s Lee?” Farlan asked.  
  
 “Lee the penguin.” Isabel pointed to the stuff penguin Eren was holding.  
  
 “I don’t want to ride with you. You’d probably try to push me out or something,” Mikasa told Isabel.  
  
 “Hey, I’m a nice person I’ll have you know!”  
  
 “I didn’t know nice was synonymous with crazy,” Mikasa taunted.  
  
 “No, but crazy _is_ synonymous with genius,” Isabel stated.  
  
 “I wonder, can I manage to stick both my feet up _both_ your asses?” I mused.  
  
 “Ha, shut up, Levi. Your humor sucks Zebra ass.”  
  
 “You’re not funny, Big-brother.”  
  
 “At least there’s something they agree on,” Eren snickered.  
  
 I swatted his arm.  
  
 “Hey! I never said _I_ agree with ‘em.”  
  
 “C’mon Mikasa, we’re next in line!” Isabel exclaimed.  
  
 The attendant held the safety bar open so they could sit down.  
  
 “No, I don’t want…” Mikasa started to protest.  
  
 “Hey, she’s riding with me!” Farlan piped up, clutching Mikasa’s shoulder.  
  
  _Fucking Farlan.  
  
 _ “I’m not-”  
  
 “Farlan back off, and watch the penguin!”  
  
 “No! I don’t want to watch over some damn stuffed animal!”  
  
 “You’re gonna get us kicked out of here again!”  
  
 “Excuse me, but if you’re not going to ride then let the people behind you through…”  
  
 “All you fuckers need to quit your shit…”  
  
 “Levi, shut up and get your friend away…”  
  
 “Why don’t I just ride with Mikasa!” Eren exclaimed, claiming everyone’s attention and halting all the yelling. “Isabel can go with Levi. And Farlan...I really don’t think Mikasa likes you, sorry.”  
  
 “Yeah, I know,” Farlan admitted dejectedly.  
  
  _How did I get here?_ I had to question myself as I ended up beside Isabel, wondering just what was going on in Eren and Mikasa’s cart as we rocked precariously through the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...
> 
> Surprise Mika POV next chapter ฅ(*°ω°*ฅ)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika spews some lies, interviews Annie, and "bonds" with Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading. I enjoyed writing this chapter, hopefully you'll enjoy it too (^･o･^)ﾉ”

I smirked to myself as we rose higher in the sky. My brother and Isabel were in the cart after us and even from here I could _feel_ his murderous aura.  
  
I looked out my side of the open car, and from this height-nearly to the very top, I had an overview of the entire carnival. Bright lights, small booths, and people looking like ants. I turned to Eren and saw him looking out the side of the open car as well.  
  
There’s not much space between us to begin with so I figure if I scoot just a little closer…  
  
“Are you okay, Mikasa?” Eren asked, probably wondering why I was trying to squish into his side.  
  
“Uh, yeah just...I’m kinda..um...not too good with heights. I didn’t want to get on, but Farlan kept pressuring me, and Isabel wouldn’t take no for an answer...I thought I’d be fine, but…”  
  
“Oh, crap, and I just kind of forced you on here, didn’t I?”  
  
“No, it’s not your fault,” I assured him.  
  
“But-”  
  
“I think this will help,” I said as I reached out to grab his hand and interlaced our fingers tightly.  
  
He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “If that’s what you need, but,” he pulled his hand away only to drape his arm over my shoulders and pull me into his side, “I think this is better.”  
  
“Definitely,” I agreed. I snuggled closer into his side and rested my head in the crook of his neck. He smells like sunshine, honestly. Sunshine and an intoxicating mix of faded cologne and something that was purely _Eren_.  
  
“I’m glad you decided to come today.”  
  
“Huh?” Oh, that’s right, Levi forgot to mention Eren had obviously invited the _both_ of us. That shameful runt. Thank god Annie wanted to come here. “I’m glad too, it was a really fun day.” Despite Farlan being infuriating, Isabel being annoying, and Levi being _here_ in general.  
  
I smiled and looked up at Eren only to find him staring down at me with those gorgeous eyes of his.  
  
“Eren?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“I-”  
  
At that moment, before I could finish speaking, the Ferris wheel came to a sudden halt.  
  
“What’s going on?” Eren wondered.  
  
We got nearer to the ground until there was an attendant in our face, urging us to get off the ride. “We’re sorry for the inconvenience but everyone needs to evacuate the ride. Someone has become sick, and it unfortunately disturbed some of the other riders and...look, we can’t have vomit flying everywhere, alright? God, I hate this kind of shit…”  
  
We walked away as the Ferris wheel attendant kept muttering to himself about ‘excessive amounts of stanky ass puke.’  
  
“Well, that blows.” Eren sighed.  
  
“Who gets sick on the _Ferris wheel_?” I scoffed. More importantly, who dares ruin _my_ love confession?  
  
“Ugh...I really shouldn’t have ate that whole funnel cake by myself,” I heard someone behind me groan.  
  
I whirled around and came face to face with Isabel. She was clutching her stomach and looked awfully pale. “It was _you_!?” Of course. I should have know. She’s out to ruin me, I swear.  
  
“Hm? Oh hey, Mikasa! Did you have a fun ride?” She asked with faked enthusiasm and a poorly concealed smirk.  
  
“It would’ve been better if _someone_ hadn’t gotten sick and forced the ride to shut down,” I retorted.  
  
“Hehee, sorry! I don’t know what happened, Levi wouldn’t stop rocking the car and when I looked down and saw how high up we were, my stomach just lurched and it was like _blerggh!_ I spewed so much vomit, it hit the people in the car below us and poor bystanders walking around...It was awesome though!” She giggled, looking quite pleased with herself.  
  
“I think everyone else would strongly disagree to that,” I snorted.  
  
“I shouldn’t have had that funnel cake, especially after eating a bag of popcorn, two candy-apples, a massive glob of cotton candy, that lollipop that was bigger than my head that I didn’t even finish because I lost it on a ride...Was there anything else? I feel like I’m forgetting something. Was there anything else, Levi?” Isabel turned to look at my brother.  
  
He had a look of disgust on his face as he glared at her. “How should I know? Though I don't doubt it, you fucking human garbage disposal,” he spat.  
  
“That’s a cool nickname, thank you,” Isabel said, totally unfazed by the sneer Levi was giving her.  
  
“Are you okay now? You look a little pale,” Eren commented.  
  
“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Although I do feel a little empty now, so I’m gonna go eat another funnel cake, bye!” She rushed off before any of us could say anything.  
  
“I hope she pukes again,” I murmured to myself.  
  
“I have to go wash my hands,” Levi announced before walking away. Does he expect to find a bathroom out here? I bet he left his hand sanitizer at home. I can practically hear him ruminating about the stench of puke and worrying about it clinging to him.  
  
“He’s such a clean-freak,” I commented.  
  
“At least she didn’t puke _on_ him,” Eren said.  
  
“He would’ve cried.” I choked on a laugh at just the thought of it.  
  
“I think he’d push her off the ride.” Eren chuckled.  
  
“Probably,” I agreed. I hid a smirk as a devious thought came into my mind. “Although, to be honest I doubt Levi could ever hurt Isabel.”  
  
“Cause they’re such good friends?”  
  
“Yeah. They’re great friends. So much so, that it’s hard to believe they used to date,” I said.  
  
Eren gasped. “They did?”  
  
“Yep. I think she was Levi’s first love,” I clarified.  
  
“But...so..Levi, isn’t...uh...gay?” Eren looked so shocked it was almost cute. Oh wait, he’s always cute.  
  
“No. But I understand if you thought otherwise, you wouldn’t be the first; he _does_ give off that kind of vibe, ya know? Really though, he’s straight as can be, and gets real angry when people assume otherwise. In fact, this one time, a guy from back at our old school confessed to him, and Levi just decked him and called him a fag. The poor kid got a concussion. I was furious at my brother. Thankfully, he’s gotten way more tolerant of gays since then. However, like I said, he hates being questioned about his own sexuality, and if anyone were to call him gay, he’d probably go berserk again.”  
  
“Is that so?” Eren scoffed like he couldn’t believe it.  
  
I nodded my head vigorously. _You better believe it, Sweetie_.  
  
“I’m not sure why Levi and Isabel broke up, but I think it has something to do with the fact that my brother doesn’t believe high-school relationships can last. He’s told me that before, that he also doesn’t want to waste time fooling around when he could be studying. Although, he seems to have gotten more lax this school year, so who knows? They might just get back together,” I speculated.  
  
“They do seem close…” Eren murmured. His brow furrowed as he bit his lip, an almost pained expression crossing his features.  
  
I felt a pang of guilt before it was rushed away by the reassuring though that Eren was most definitely on the track to being _mine_ now. _Ah, don’t worry, Eren, I’ll be better for you than Levi ever could be_. I grabbed ahold of his arm and tugged him over to a random booth. “Hey look, they do portraits, we should have one done of us together.”

* * *

_  
  
_ “You look worried, Big-brother,” I remarked on the way home, “you shouldn’t be, Farlan’s probably already at the house waiting for us.”  
  
“It’s not that, it’s just...did Eren seem like he was avoiding me after we got off the Ferris wheel?” Levi looked completely distraught. “Did I _do_ something to upset him? Is it because Farlan wandered off with Lee? I’ll get that fucking penguin back, I swear I will so…”  
  
“He did seem distracted and noticeably quieter than before when I got back from scarfing down that funnel cake,” Isabel mused.  
  
“I think he might have just been tired. Plus, the puke fumes coming from the both of you probably made his head swim,” I said.  
  
“Hey, I smell like a goddamn fairy, thank you very much!” Isabel countered. “Plus I made sure to gargle hot chocolate with extra mint, so bleh!” She stuck her tongue out at me.  
  
“Am I gonna have to throw this fucking jacket out?”  
  
“You smell fine, Levi-bro, don’t let Mika scare you. As for Eren, he probably _was_ just tired.”  
  
“Whatever.”  
  
We arrived at the house then. Isabel ran inside first, and we followed behind at a leisurely pace. We found her in the living room along with Farlan who was watching TV with a bored expression on his face.  
  
“Lee!” Isabel was bouncing on the couch as she squished the atrocious hot pink penguin plush to her chest with glee.  
  
“What is _that_?” I questioned.  
  
“Lee the penguin, of course! Didn’t you hear earlier?”  
  
So that’s the over-sized stuffed piece of shit Levi gave to Eren. I stared into it’s beady eyes and curled my lip in distaste at it’s purple beak.  
  
“Calm down, Mikasa, it’s a damn penguin,” Farlan muttered, looking away from the flat-screen to give me a knowing stare.  
  
“Who asked you!”  
  
He rolled his eyes and clicked off the TV. “So who scored with Eren?” He asked.

“I did. We kissed on the Ferris wheel, and it. was. _magical_.” Or it would have been, had we not been interrupted. Guaran-fucking-teed.  
  
“Please, you’re full of shit!” Levi accused. “You were barely up there for like five minutes, if even.”  
  
“I work fast. But I guess, you’ll never know,” I taunted. I skipped upstairs with a satisfied smirk on my face as my felt my brother’s glare bore into my back.

* * *

_  
  
_ “So, what does Eren like in a girl?” I questioned, spinning around in the rolly chair by the desk.  
  
Annie sat cross-legged on the bed, seemingly disinterested as she scrolled through her phone. “I’m not sure. I’m probably not the person you want to ask, seeing as we broke up,” she muttered in an equally disinterested tone.  
  
“Hmm...well, why’d you break up in the first place?” I asked.  
  
“I don’t know, it was...a mutual decision really. We were so different, you know? He’s so bright all the time, pretty popular too and just...at the end of it all, being with him was exhausting. He just _attracts_ people, and I seem to repel them. I’ll admit, he did bring me out of my shell somewhat, but I was tired of being dragged around to stupid parties, or on double dates with our just as stupid friends. I’m not really big on romance either. I’m not a very affectionate person, and he really is, so…” Annie shrugged. “It was an amicable breakup.”  
  
I pondered this for a moment. So it’s not because he cheated on her with Erwin or anything like that? To be honest, that’s something I was almost betting on.  
  
“And he got together with Erwin after that?” I asked.  
  
She nodded. “A few months later. They dated for maybe...six months? And broke up over the summer in like July. Eren pouted for a while, but never told anyone what happened when they bothered to ask. It wasn’t like I exactly cared so I never commented on it,” she said.  
  
Erwin was probably a douche. He certainly seems the type. “Have you always known Eren was bi?” I inquired.  
  
Annie sighed and flopped back on the bed. “I know you like him, but this feels like an interview, is it really fucking necessary?”  
  
“Of course!” I slammed my hand on the desk with resolve.  
  
“You and your brother are both hopeless.” She sighed again, shaking her head.  
  
“You know my brother likes him too?” I don’t believe I ever mentioned that to her.  
  
“You’re both undeniably obvious as fuck.”  
  
“But has Eren noticed?” Is the question.  
  
“Maybe. Who knows? He’s a dingbat sometimes, and he’s a boy so, that makes him moronic by default.”  
  
I giggled at that remark. “True.”  
  
“I’ve know he was bi since he came out in the seventh grade. Why, do you have a problem with that? He doesn’t tolerate biphobia. Nor do I, so you talk shit, and you’re gonna get hit, Mika,” Annie threatened.  
  
“I could care less. I just want him to...well, want me,” I stated.  
  
Annie rolled her eyes. “I’m sure he will. You’re hot and you know it.”  
  
“Well I can’t deny that.” I smirked. “So, you never had a problem with it?”  
  
“No. It’s like, whatever creams your twinkie, ya know? I didn’t have a right to question his sexuality, nor was I grossed out about it. As long as we were monogamous towards each other when we were dating, why should I care? I didn’t,” she said.  
  
“‘Whatever creams your twinkie?’” I raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Whatever tickles your pickle, floats your boat, different strokes for different folks, you get what I fucking mean.”  
  
“Yeah. So, what do you think about penguins?”  
  
“Penguins?”  
  
“Pink ones.”

* * *

_  
  
_ When I got back from Annie’s, the house was empty. My parents probably went out and Levi was probably messing around with his dumb ass friends.  
  
Yuki meowed at me from her spot perched on the kitchen counter as I passed by to get a water bottle from the fridge.  
  
“Hey, pretty girl.” I stroked her head, silky white fur tickling my palm as she nuzzled against my hand. Her paw was completely better now, thank goodness. I almost had a heart attack when I thought she was hurt. “You’re so cute. What you’d do today? Did you by any chance, hairball on Levi’s bed? No? Well you should,” I cooed at her while she just started purring.  
  
My phone pinged, notifying me of a text message. I slipped it out of my jacket pocket and unlocked it. My eyes widened when I saw it was a text from Eren. Yuki meowed in distaste as I stopped petting her.  
  
Hey, wanna hang out? I’m bored  
  
Haha yea me too. Sure I replied.  
  
Wanna come over? No one’s home  
  
I nearly squealed. He’s inviting me over? And no one’s there? As in, it’ll just be the two of us? Alone? In Eren’s bedroom? Hopefully in Eren’s bedroom….  
  
Yeah see u in a few I just have to make myself irresistible first.  
  
I rushed upstairs to my room and immediately started rummaging through my dresser. A few minutes later, I had nearly emptied its contents, and everything in my closet seemed to be strewn across the bedroom floor.  
  
I sighed, looked down at myself and decided that what I was [already wearing](http://wheretoget.it/look/265690) was fine.  
  
I did touch up my makeup though. I only had on eyeliner, mascara, and a light sheen of cherry lip-gloss. I smirked to myself. _I hope Eren likes cherry.  
  
_

* * *

_  
  
_ “Want anything to drink, or snack on maybe?” Eren asked as he led us upstairs.  
  
“No thanks, I’m fine,” I replied.  
  
Eren plopped down on the white sofa in the second entertainment room. There was a flat-screen TV against the opposite wall, and the entertainment center held a couple video game consoles, the shelves stocked with movies and games. There were a couple plush beanbags strewn around and a glass coffee table in front of the sofa that had opened chip bags and several cans of Dr. Pepper on top of it.  
  
“Sorry it’s a mess.” Eren smirked, obviously not bothered by said mess.  
  
“I don’t care.”  
  
“So...wanna play Mario Kart or something?”

* * *

_  
  
_ “Come on, ‘Kasa, stop pouting.”  
  
“You blue-shelled me.”  
  
“I won fair and square,” Eren retorted.  
  
“You’re an ass!” I snapped. I threw my controller down with a huff, it fortunately landed safely on a beanbag.  
  
Eren kept chuckling to himself, while I scooted as far away from him as I could on the sofa, crossed my arms, and continued to pout.  
  
“Come on, stop making that face.” Eren edged closer to me.  
  
I gave him the best glare I could muster, even when all I wanted to do was grin at his stupid adorable face.  
  
“I guess I have no choice then,” he sighed.  
  
I raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant, before I found myself being pounced on.  
  
“Haha! Ha! Stop! E-Eren s-s-stop! Haa…” He tickled me mercilessly, fingertips dancing against my sides as I squealed with so much laughter it hurt my stomach. “Stooop!” I whined, trying to kick him off.  
  
“At least you’re not pouting anymore,” he reasoned as he finally let up on his relentless tickle attack.  
  
“Yeah,” I muttered, staring up at him, transfixed in the way his blue-green eyes lit up when he smiled. I was sprawled across the sofa as he hovered over me, and I suddenly became very aware of our close proximity.  
  
My eyes trailed down to his lips, raised in a small smirk, looking so soft and kissable. They parted as he spoke, and my eyes trailed back up to his as I registered he’d called my name.  
  
“Mikasa?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
He leaned down, eyes gauging my reaction for any sign of protest before he finally pressed his lips to mine in a gentle kiss.  
  
I smiled and carded my fingers through his silky brown hair, pressing closer against him. His lips were as soft as they looked, and moved skillfully against mine. I parted my lips slightly, he took the hint and lightly poked his tongue out, prodding and teasing against my own. He tasted faintly of mint and I wondered if he’d sucked on one without me knowing. My skin practical tingled where it made contact with his.  
  
“EREN!” A voice called out from downstairs as the front door flew open with a bang, effectively startling the both of us. We scrambled away from each other and Eren nearly fell off the sofa. “Come help up with the groceries!”  
  
Eren rolled his eyes. “Looks like my parents are back.”  
  
_Cockblockers._ “Oh.”  
  
We went downstairs after making ourselves presentable.  
  
“Oh, hello, Mikasa, darling! I didn’t know you were here.” Carla smiled when she saw me.  
  
“Kids, kids look what I bought!” Grisha eagerly presented an ordinary looking lime to us, except it had what looked like the top of a spray bottle connected to it.  
  
“What is it?” I asked, just a tad concerned.  
  
Grisha smiled. “Glad you asked, Mikasa! Get this, _this_ is a _Citrus Spritzer_!” He announced the name proudly.  
  
“What does it do?” Eren raised an eyebrow, eyes weary, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one questioning his father’s sanity.  
  
“Exactly what I just said. It plugs into fruit and you can spritz the juice directly from it!”  
  
“Well, that’s stupid,” Eren said.  
  
Grisha sighed as he shook his head in disappointment. “You obviously can’t appreciate the genius that is this product. I’m sorry son, I’ve failed you somewhere along the way…”  
  
Carla rolled her eyes. “Obviously you haven’t failed him; Eren’s perfect, and he has such cute friends like Mikasa.” She patted me on the head lightly before covering my ears. “Really cute, in fact Eren, perfect _girlfriend material_ ,” she whispered to him not so conspicuously.  
  
“Mom,” He groaned.  
  
I giggled as Carla uncovered my ears.  
  
“Opps, I think she heard,” Carla muttered, giggling as well.  
  
Eren seemed to be turning pink.  
  
“You staying for dinner, Mikasa?” Grisha asked between spritzing juice into his mouth.  
  
“No thanks. I have to head home because my parents wanted to have dinner as a family tonight.”  
  
“Okay, well you’re welcomed here anytime. Say hello to your parents for me, and that darling brother of yours as well,” Carla told me.  
  
“Will do.” I smiled.

* * *

_  
  
_ “So what’d you do today?” Levi asked from across the table as he snagged an eggroll from me.  
  
Our parents wanted to eat out, so we decided to try this quaint Chinese place one of my mom's friends apparently suggested.  
  
“Don’t touch my food!” I snapped, “And it’s none of your business.”  
  
“Dn’t the tay the was gonna be over at that grump blon chik’s house?” Isabel murmured over the food in her mouth.  
  
“What was that? I don’t speak imbecile with food stuffed in their face.” Levi scrunched his face in disgust.  
  
Isabel swallowed her food with an exaggerated gulp. “I said, didn’t she say she was gonna be over at that grumpy blonde chick’s house? Well you’re the one that called her grumpy- which is pretty funny considering you’re a grump as well,” She snorted.  
  
Levi glared at her. “Why do I put up with you?”  
  
“Point proven,” Farlan muttered from his spot on Levi’s other side.  
  
“Total grump,” I agreed with a smirk, watching as Levi’s eye started to twitch.  
  
“I hate you all,” he grumbled.  
  
“Dude, you’re just digging a deeper grave for yourself, you know this?"  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouch, Mika scores a critical point. Levi's gonna have to do somethin about it, huh? The stories far from over, so anything can happen [^._.^]ﾉ彡
> 
>  


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is still avoiding Levi and it's pissing him off. Will he finally get answers when the Jaegers come over for Thanksgiving dinner?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was fun to write, although it may just be the stupidest one yet. I feel like Levi cusses even more in this one? And I really didn't mean to make Mikasa come off as so annoying, I'm sorry. I just don't want anyone to think I'm bashing her or anything cause Mikasa is one of my favorite characters. But yes, she's totally being a bitch right now so I understand if you're not particularly liking her. Enjoy reading (^･o･^)ﾉ”

“Why do you look so down, Levi-bro?” Isabel asked as she plopped down on the couch next to me where I sat staring dejectedly at my phone. She had a bag of Doritos clutched to her chest, and she munched obnoxiously loud on a handful as she stared at me with big questioning eyes.  
  
I didn’t even have the strength to yell at her for getting crumbs all over the place.  
  
“He’s moping because Eren is still giving him the silent treatment,” Farlan muttered from his spot, sitting far too close to the flatscreen as he played a redundant shooting game I can’t be bothered to remember the name of. “And he’s also mad cause I kicked his ass at Smashbros earlier.”  
  
“Shut up and play your stupid game,” I snapped.  
  
“See? His words don’t even have their usual bite,” he snorted.  
  
“I see. Well, maybe Eren’s just busy or something, has he not texted back at all?” Isabel asked me.  
  
“Just clipped one worded answers, like he can’t be bothered to talk to me. He even said I could keep Lee. He doesn’t want it,” I said. “He doesn’t want the goddamn penguin I worked so hard to get his dumbass.” No I’m not whining. Or pouting. I’m Levi Ackerman; I don’t do either of those.  
  
Farlan snorted again. “Worked so hard for? You took the game down in a matter of seconds. And it’s just a stuffed animal.”  
  
My hands curled into fists. _I wish you were a stuffed animal, motherfucker. I’d rip off your head and stuff your own fluffing up your ignorant ass.  
  
_ Isabel rolled her eyes even though Farlan couldn’t see as he busy staring intently at the TV screen and mashing buttons on a wireless controller. “You don’t understand, Farlan. He won it for Eren, it’s _their_ penguin. It’s a reminder of what could’ve been, I mean I’m pretty sure he was flirting with you there for a sec at least…”  
  
“So you’re saying the penguin is like their child?”  
  
“Course not, where’d you get that from? That’d be weird. I bet Levi would rather have a cat anyway.”  
  
“But he hates Yuki already,” Farlan said.  
  
“True. But who wants a penguin for a child? You’d have to move to the North Pole.” Isabel shook her head at the thought. “You’d have to live in an igloo.”  
  
“Izzy, penguins don’t live in the North Pole,” Farlan told her.  
  
“They don’t?” She looked positively astounded at the news.  
  
“I’m pretty sure-”  
  
“Will you two fuckheads _shut up_!” I yelled, causing the both of them to snap their attention to me. “Who gives a fuck about a shitty penguin won at a shitty midway booth? I just want to fucking know why this fuckhead is being a...fuckhead.” Shitty fuckhead.  
  
“Maybe he’s playing hard to get,” Farlan suggested.  
  
“Shut up, Farlan, no one even does that.” Isabel rolled her eyes.  
  
“How would you know? I’m smooth as fuck, chicks flock to me-”  
  
“Your last girlfriend broke up with you because you forgot her damn _birthday_ ,” she countered.  
  
Farlan looked annoyed as he threw his controller down and turned to glare at her. “That’s an honest mista-”  
  
“She told you the day before, and handed out invitations to her birthday party a week in advance. You showed up and brought your jock friends with you. You helped crash the party, destroyed the cake, and then asked what the occasion was.”  
  
“I thought it was the typical rager, okay? I didn’t mean to-”  
  
“Your ‘friends’ also broke a 5,000 dollar vase and flooded the upstairs bathroom.”  
  
“Who the fuck buys expensive shit like that anyway? What’s the point of a vase anyway? It just sits there. The shit was ugly anyway, I did it a favor!” Farlan huffed.  
  
“Not the point, dumb-”  
  
“Didn’t I tell you two to shut up? Unless you actually have something intelligent to say, which might I add, you rarely do,” I interjected before they could get into a spat and piss me off even more.  
  
“What I said was intelligent! Eren is probably just busy with something. Maybe relatives are visiting cause it’s close to Thanksgiving?” Isabel reasoned.  
  
“Maybe you’re overthinking it...and whining like a little _bitch_ ,” Farlan muttered the last part under his breath, though I still ended up overhearing it.  
  
I shot him a dirty look. “Farlan, shut up. You both are literally no help at all. Useless fucks.”  
  
“I’m not useless, I can scream in three different languages,” Isabel stated proudly.  
  
“That’s not even a thing that’s possible…”  
  
“Hey, Mikasa!” Farlan shouted, making me jump and almost fall off the couch. I looked up in shock, watching as Farlan waved enthusiastically at Mika who was trying to creep past the living room.  
  
“You piece of dung, you’re in the same fucking house, why are you shouting?” I have an urge to kill and it’s rising by the second.  
  
“Hi,” Mikasa’s voice was flat as she walked past, not bothering to spare Farlan even a second’s glance.  
  
I cringed as I head the front door slam. I hate when people do that shit and I’m already irritated, so the next person to make another unreasonably loud noise is going to get punched in the face.  
  
“She looked really pretty today,” Farlan commented.  
  
“You’re a creep.” Although I’m sure he already knows this.  
  
“Mikasa’s been going out a lot lately,” Isabel mused, staring after Mikasa with curious narrowed eyes and a hand to her chin.  
  
“So? She’s probably with that bitchy blonde friend of hers,” I said. _Can’t you see my mind is elsewhere, Isabel, I don’t give a shit.  
  
_ “Are you sure? And isn’t it convenient that Eren started acting strange the day after the carnival?”  
  
“I don’t know.” What is this brat getting at?  
  
“It’s just that, he was with Mikasa for a while that night, do you think she actually made a move?”  
  
“No-”  
  
“And she was wearing more perfume than usual-”  
  
“Isabel, how do you even know that?”  
  
“And she’s wearing a push up bra today…”  
  
“Wow, and here I was thinking Farlan’s the creep.”  
  
“For the last fucking time, I am not a creep.”  
  
“I’ll believe that when you stop salivating over my little sister!” I snapped, “and Isabel, what are you trying to get at?”  
  
“I think Mikasa’s hooking up with Eren,” Isabel stated.  
  
_Wha? That’s…_ ”Bullshit,” I spat.  
  
“But-”  
  
“Quit talking mess-”  
  
“But, Levi-bro-”  
  
“I hate messes!” I jumped to my feet and started to walk away. I’m tempted to put my hands over my ears to block out Isabel’s drivel. She doesn’t know shit, and the visual she gave me is not appreciated. She’s making me paranoid for no reason. There is no way Mikasa could’ve…  
  
“I’ll get proof! I’ll get to the bottom of this, you hear me, big-bro!? Mikasa’s gonna talk, I’ll _make_ her,” Isabel declared.  
  
“Yeah, yeah you go do that.” I ignored her as I walked away. “I’m gonna go take a nap or jump out the fucking window or something.”

* * *

_  
  
_ I woke up to an earsplitting screech.  
  
It’s not a pleasant way to wake up, I’ll tell you that. I sprung up, clutching at the bedsheets with one hand pressed over my heart. My bleary eyes shifted across the room as I tried to perceive a threat, wondering if I’d just imagined the sound when I found nothing out of place.  
  
But then the screaming continued, and it seemed to be coming from the hall. I got out of bed and went over to the closed door, opening it a crack and cautiously poking my head out.  
  
“What the fuck did you do to my hair dryer!?” Mikasa was yelling, face reddened with rage as she glowered at Isabel. Well, I guess it was red. It was kinda hard to tell beneath all the white powder covering her face.  
  
I threw open my bedroom door. “I am trying to take a fucking nap!”  
  
They both ignored me.  
  
“Baby powder, obviously,” Isabel said in answer to Mika’s previous question.  
  
Mika looked ready to punch her. “Why would you-”  
  
“I think you’re overreacting, it’s just powder. I wanted to put hair dye in your shampoo but I don’t think it’d work on your hair.” Isabel shrugged, “But what can ya do?”  
  
Mikasa was making a growling noise deep in her throat that she didn’t seem to be aware of. “I did nothing to deserve this!”  
  
“You refused to answer my questions,” Isabel said.  
  
“Because your ‘questions’ were idiotic. I don’t see why you’re trying to butt into my life,” Mikasa snapped.  
  
“And I don’t see why you’re being such a bitch!”  
  
“ _Excuse me_!?” Mikasa scoffed, seemingly offended.  
  
“You’re not excused!”  
  
“Is this the beginning of a bitch fight?” I sighed.  
  
“Nothing I do is any of your business!”  
  
“You’re obviously hid-”  
  
“Hey, hey, both of you, shut your fucking _FILTHY PIEHOLES!_ ” I banged on the wall just for emphasis.  
  
“Levi-bro, Mikasa’s being a bitch.”  
  
“Uh, what? Please, as _if_. Big-brother, Isabel’s tormenting me!”  
  
“I do not give a fuck-”  
  
“But-”  
  
“Not a single one! Now go to bed,” I ordered, crossing my arms as I gave them the best glare I could muster. _Anyone who chooses to defy me gets a broken limb_.  
  
“But I haven’t even eaten dinner yet!” Isabel whined.  
  
“To bed! You're both grounded!”  
  
“But-”  
  
“Ground- _ed_!”

* * *

_  
  
_ “You know, Mikasa, you um...you’re teeth are green,” Farlan commented over breakfast.  
  
Mikasa continued to nibble on a piece of toast as she answered, “I know.”  
  
“Well, uh...what happened?”  
  
“Isabel happened,” she said in the same bored tone.  
  
“Isabel put food coloring on Mika’s toothbrush,” I explained. “They’re both imbecilic brats and I hate them,” I sighed and blew on my steaming mug of coffee. “Where is Isabel, by the way?”  
  
“I don’t know, possibly avoiding Mikasa now that I think about it,” Farlan said.  
  
Mikasa scoffed. “I don’t see why, it’s not like I’m gonna punch her. She’ll bite me again and I’m not risking getting an infection…”  
  
“Again?” I raised an eyebrow in question.  
  
Mikasa sighed, put down her bread, and held out her arm, showing off the bite mark embedded in the flesh of her inner wrist.  
  
I felt an odd mixture of disgusted and impressed. “That’s...nice,” is what I settled for.  
  
Farlan whistled, “no, that’s impressive.”  
  
Mikasa didn’t look amused. “Well, I’m certainly not impressed. And I’m leaving to go shopping with Annie, so tell Isabel she can come out of hiding.” She stood up and left the dining room.  
  
“Wait, brat, take your dirty fucking dishes!” I called after her. Goddamn it.  
  
“I was not hiding from her,” Isabel grumbled as she walked into the dining room moments later.  
  
“You shouldn’t eat that for breakfast.” I gave a pointed look at the package of Oreos she set down on the table.  
  
She just narrowed her eyes at me as she tore the packaging and maintained eye contact as she brought a cookie to her mouth.  
  
I was just gonna roll my eyes at her and turn back to my now cold plate of scrambled eggs, but she let out a whimper all of a sudden and I watched in horror as her green eyes watered with tears as she blanched and hunched over, making sounds that reminded me of Yuki puking up a hairball.  
  
“Blech! Bleh,” she spit out the food in her mouth before beginning to hop up and down with her face scrunched in disgust, “Ew, ew, ewwwww!”  
  
“What the hell are you doing hacking that shit up all over the floor!?” I yelled.  
  
She was now scrubbing her tongue with the sleeve of her hoodie. “That’s so gross!”  
  
“What the hell, are they poisoned or something?” Farlan gasped.  
  
Isabel shook her head and finally stopped scrubbing at her mouth. “The white cream part of the cookie was filled with toothpaste. Who would do such a blasphemous thing!” She cried.  
  
Farlan started snickering while I, on the other hand, started worrying about cleaning that fucking unsanitary mess of spit, chocolate, and toothpaste on the floor.  
  
“This better not be the start of some goddamn prank war,” I grumbled under my breath.

* * *

_  
  
_ “This has turned into a goddamn prank war,” I groaned.  
  
Over the past couple days, the pranks have just been escalating. From tampered food, to plastic covering doorways, to cat shit in beds, beds being moved outside, messing with the TV with the use of a remote control app- honestly smartphones nowadays are amazing- confetti cannons and glitter bombs going off everywhere making it look like a unicorn shat and vomited at the same time, and hell even bugs in the fucking shower- _bugs!  
  
_ I’ve finally had enough. I am going to lose my mind if I keep having to check the toilet paper for itching powder and the sugar container for salt. And _this!  
  
_ “This isn’t even realistic looking,” I muttered as I stared down at the gigantic plastic spider sitting in the middle of the hallway.  
  
“Isabel!”  
  
“What, Levi-bro!?” She yelled from downstairs.  
  
“Get your ass up here!” I yelled back.  
  
I heard her groan in exasperation. “What’s up?” She asked when she got upstairs.  
  
“Did you put this here?” I pointed at the big ass arachnid.  
  
She shook her head. “No, I already put cockroaches in the shower, why would I do something as lame as a fake spider?”  
  
“That’s weird, Mikasa knows you’re not afraid of bugs,” I said. There’s no way she would do this lame prank either. I bent down to pick the thing up off the floor. “Huh, maybe it is a bit more realistic than I’d thought…” It’s like it’s eight eyes are staring straight at me.  
  
“Um, Levi, I don’t think that’s fake,” Isabel said.  
  
I turned to face her in confusion. “What do you mean?” It was at that moment that I felt something prickling at my hand. _That feels like…_ I looked down in horror to see the _very real_ huge ass spider crawling up my arm, it’s spindly legs scurrying up my arm in the most unpleasant of sensations.  
  
“A-a-ahhhhHHHH!” I flailed my arm and jumped back as fast as I could. I think I heard the little bastard screaming along with me as he went flying across the hall.  
  
“Levi-bro, are you alright? You screamed like a girl,” Isabel told me.  
  
I glared at her as I placed a hand over my pounding heart. Fuck, now I have to wash my hands and that things probably still alive and blocking the way to the bathroom… “I did _not_ scream,” I stated. That was just a...sound of surprise. Anyone would be surprise to find a big ass spider just fucking... _ugh!_ I suppressed a shudder.  
  
“Don’t worry, it probably scuttled away,” Isabel reassured me.  
  
“That’s worse!” I snapped. That means it could be anywhere.  
  
“It’s just as scared of you as you are of him.”  
  
“Whatever. Fuck. If it weren’t for your shitty prank war I could’ve avoided the fucking heart attack. Why did this prank war even commence, by the way?” It’s pointless really, not to mention downright childish….  
  
“Mikasa started it! No one said she _had_ to get me back for the blow dryer mishap. She could have just walked away and played the bigger person, but _no_ , she had to go and retaliate with-”  
  
“Why’d you start it anyway!”  
  
“Hey, don’t yell at me! I was trying to help you. I just...I might have asked her some things,” Isabel admitted.  
  
“About?” I prompted.  
  
“I just asked if she had said anything to Eren. If she knew why he was being cold to you. She didn’t tell me anything, just told me to get out of her face, so then I asked if she had actually made a move like she said she had. She still refused to answer. Then I just plain out asked if her bitch ass was seeing Eren behind your back, and she kicked me out of her room! Can you believe it…” Isabel huffed, “I still think something’s fishy…”  
  
I rolled my eyes. “And I think you’re being unreasonable.”  
  
She just sighed. “Whatever you want to keep telling yourself, Levi. I just don’t want my big bro getting hurt.”  
  
I snorted. “Who’s talking about getting hurt? I-”  
  
“Have feelings like a normal human being, even though you try to act as if otherwise. Give it up, Levi-bro.”  
  
“Quit trying to be smart, it’s not befitting of you.”  
  
“Kids, come downstairs for a moment!” I heard my mother call.  
  
“What does she want?”  
  
“Oh, is the turkey ready!?” Isabel grabbed my hand and tugged me downstairs eagerly.  
  
We found my mom in the living room with Mikasa and Farlan. She narrowed her eyes at me. “Why aren’t you dressed nicely?”  
  
I looked down at my torn black jeans and plain black hoodie. “Should I be?” I asked in confusion.  
  
“Is the food ready yet?” Isabel asked.  
  
“No, but we’re waiting on the Jaegers anyway so...” mom trailed off.  
  
“What?” Since when are they coming?  
  
“I’m so used to having a big gathering for Thanksgiving and I was worried it was going to be lonely this year with just us-”  
  
“I’m here too!” Isabel piped up.  
  
“Yes and we love you, but you can’t replace Uncle Kenny and his hilarious stories-”  
  
“Mom, Uncle Kenny is a fucking drunk who always passes out in the most random places and last Thanksgiving he almost fucking cut dads ear off with an electric carving knife,” I reminded her. Honestly, he’s embarrassing and I claim no relation to him.  
  
“You hush. He just likes wine, we all like wine...especially on Thanksgiving. Anyway, the Jaegers agreed to Thanksgiving dinner with us and I quite enjoy both Carla and Grisha’s company, so Levi, go put on a dress shirt or something and refrain from cursing so much,” she told me, smiling all tight-lipped and fake.  
  
“Sure thing, Old hag.” I sighed as I stomped back upstairs. That spider’s little bitch ass better not pop out at me.

* * *

_  
  
_ The Jaegers arrived soon after I followed my mother’s instructions and slipped into something ‘presentable.’  
  
Mom still had a few things to prepare for dinner- honestly how long does it take to... She and Carla went into the kitchen, laughing obnoxiously and cracking open the first bottle of wine for the night.  
  
Grisha and my dad bonded over the television, watching sports or whatever the fuck.  
  
Isabel, Farlan, Mikasa, Eren and I went to hang out upstairs in one of the spare rooms that Isabel was occupying for the time being.  
  
As expected, Eren was still avoiding me. He didn’t speak to me unless I asked him something directly and he barely glanced my way. It’s grating on my fucking nerves.  
  
“Who wants to play Cards Against Humanity?” Isabel suggested, “I think Levi has the bigger blacker box edition stashed in his closet.”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“Mhm.”  
  
There were vague grunts of agreement and Isabel went off to find the card game.  
  
“I gotta take a shit,” I announced before walking out of the room. Truthfully, I just couldn’t stand to be in the same room as Eren who was, for some reason, trying very noticeably and desperately to avoid me.  
  
I went to the bathroom but I didn’t shit. I just washed my hands two times in a row and stared at myself in the mirror for about five minutes. Now I hate admitting to being insecure, but fuck doesn’t everybody get a little insecure sometimes? I mean, what does Eren not like about me? He doesn’t like me right, otherwise he wouldn’t be ignoring me…  
  
A knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts.  
  
“Levi-bro, did you fall into the toilet or something? You’ve been in there for a while.”  
  
_Fucking Isabel._ “I’m battling some constipation, for your information, so if you would please go the fuck away, that’d be great,” I said.  
  
“Leviii,” she whined and started pounding on the door again.  
  
I let out a begrudging sigh as I turned out the light and opened the door. “Quit whining.”  
  
We went back to the spare room where Farlan was busy dealing out cards to imaginary people.  
  
“Where did those two brats go?” I asked.  
  
“Mikasa said something about showing Eren her room, or something.” Farlan shrugged, continuing to count out white cards.  
  
“I have a bad feeling about this information,” Isabel muttered.  
  
Goddamn it Isabel, now I do as well. “Agreed.”  
  
“Wait, Levi, are you sure you wanna do that? What if you walk in on something…” Isabel started protesting as I stomped out of the room and down the hall, heading for my sister’s room.  
  
“Kids’, dinner’s ready!” Someone called from downstairs.  
  
“Perfect excuse.” I nodded to myself. I stopped in front of Mikasa’s closed bedroom door and listened a moment for any noises. Well at least I don’t hear any fucking moans or anything. I mentally counted to three before I turned the doorknob and banged the door open with a loud cry of, “DINNERS READY, FUCKHEADS!”  
  
Mikasa let out a screech and Eren toppled out of the bed and onto the floor. They were both shirtless, and for about half a second there, I had the unfortunate displeasure of witnessing them sucking each other’s faces off before they startled at my throwing the door open.  
  
About another half second passed before I gathered my wits and slapped a hand over my eyes because hell yeah Eren’s half naked, but so is my _sister_.  
  
I backed out of the room blindly and almost fell backwards onto Isabel, who let out a yelp when I accidentally stepped on her foot.  
  
“Um...dinner is ready, guys. You should hurry up cause I really want to eat,” Isabel awkwardly muttered, most likely to Eren and Mikasa. I wouldn’t know, my eyes are still burning.  
  
“Come on, Levi.” She pulled me along by my arm. I stumbled along blindly.

* * *

_  
  
_ Dinner was awkward. Awkward as hell.  
  
For me, at least, that’s for certain. I refrained from looking at Eren. It made me want to gag on my food whenever my eyes met Mikasa’s. Isabel was making things even more awkward by glaring not so inconspicuously right at Eren. Farlan, that jackass, was blissfully oblivious as he gobbled down his food.  
  
The old asses at the tables were too busy laughing and spilling liquor all over the place to notice the tension between the rest of us that was probably palpable at this point. Seriously, get me the electric carving knife and I’ll cut that shit straight through right here right now.  
  
“Levi, can you pass the cranberry sauce?” Farlan asked over a mouth full of what looked like stuffing.  
  
I looked up from my plate where I was pathetically pushing my peas around just to scowl at him. “You already have a shit ton on your plate.”  
  
Farlan sighed. “Isabel, can you please pass the cranberry sauce.”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
I rolled my eyes and twirled my fork around on my plate as I desperately tried to shrink into my chair and disappear.  
  
A giggle caught my attention, prompting me to raise my eyes to see Mikasa smiling at something Eren had said. They were chatting quietly amongst themselves and watching the way Mikasa was lightly rubbing Eren’s arm was about to make me puke.  
  
My hand clenched tightly around my fork. _This bitch…._  
  
“Levi, are you okay?” Isabel whispered to me.  
  
I think Mikasa heard her because she turned away from Eren to smirk at me, fucking _smirk_ at me. And then she turned back to Eren muttering something about, “Eren, you have mashed potatoes on your cheek,” only to fucking _lick_ said cheek. “There, I think I got it,” she giggled.  
  
_Last fucking straw!_ I barely even registered what I was doing, it was just like whoops all of a sudden there was some of Carla’s chicken broccoli casserole in my hand and whoops there it goes, flying across the table at a brutal speed and making impact with Mikasa’s head.  
  
Mikasa let out a screech that sounded something akin to a pterodactyl from Jurassic Park.  
  
“Levi!” My mother shouted. “Mikasa, don’t you dare-”  
  
But Mikasa had already retaliated with a mushy hand full of pumpkin pie aimed right at my head.  
  
“Levi-bro, no!” Isabel dived across the table and took the hit for me.  
  
“Isabel!” I gasped as the slimy brown desert splattered across her front . “Why would you be so stupid!? Can’t you see I’m not worth it?”  
  
She gasped for air, taking her last dying breath, “Give her hell for me, big-bro.” Her eyes fell shut as she slumped against the table.  
  
“No!” I cried in pure outrage.  
  
“Levi! Take this weapon, it’s the most powerful thing here,” Farlan tossed a can of whip cream to me.  
  
I saluted him. “Thank you, soldier.”  
  
I managed to duck underneath the table just as a handful of mashed yams came flying past.  
  
I popped back up in time to see Eren get a face full of cranberry sauce delivered by Farlan. Farlan was snickering loudly, until Eren retaliated with numerous attacks of green bean casserole.  
  
“You’re dead.” I popped off the cap of the whip cream and aimed it straight at Mikasa, never taking my eyes off her.  
  
“Well see about that.” Mikasa challenged my glare as she held up the fully intact cherry pie she had in her hands.  
  
She charged at me first, and I danced out of her way, pressing down on the can’s nozzle with no mercy, letting streamers of white cream fly everywhere.  
  
She dodged my attacks and kept coming at me with the pie up and ready. I shook my can furiously, regrettably noting the light, empty weight of it. “Shit, I’m running out of ammo,” I muttered to myself.  
  
I looked around for more supplies, but everything was compromised. There wasn’t any hope in sight.  
  
Not even Farlan could help me, he was engaged in what looked like a wrestling match with Eren. He had Eren in a headlock but suddenly threw the boy to the floor before running off into the kitchen.  
  
“Which one of us is dead, Big-brother?” Mikasa taunted. Oh crap, the pie is advancing, the pie is...this is it. This is it for me. Tell my mother I love her- even though she’s insane- and tell Farlan he can have all my video games and the secret wad of cash in the bottom of my sock drawer, and dad...dad’s alright but Mika’s always been a daddy's girl so he’ll probably be fine with losing me instead.  
  
“Levi, think fast!” Farlan shouted, suddenly barreling in from the kitchen.  
  
I stared at him in bewilderment as he threw another can of what looked to be whip cream at me.  
  
It didn’t make it that far though, choosing instead to drop to the floor just a couple feet away, and both Mikasa and I locked eyes for a second before we both dove for it.  
  
It was just in my grasp before Mikasa pulled me back and made a grab at it, but I kicked her and sent the can rolling out of her hands. We scurried after it again, and ended up in mess of flailing punches and kicks. I ended up managing to pin her to the ground, hand tightly clasping the can of whip cream as I held it above her victoriously with the nozzle aimed right at her face.  
  
“Any last words?” I asked.  
  
“Fuck you,” she spat.  
  
“Such shameful words to wish to be remembered by,” I sighed, shaking my head in mock disappointment. I pressed down on the nozzle and didn’t let up until the can was empty and hissing air and I could no longer see Mikasa’s face under all the whip cream.  
“Bon appe-fucking-tit.”

* * *

_  
  
_ Our parents were too drunk to properly yell at us, but they made us promise to clean the dining room and that’s a-ok with me, in fact I couldn’t wait to get it done. The place looked like a fucking war zone.  
  
Unfortunately, I’m too exhausted for that right now.  
  
“Thanks for avenging me, Levi-bro,” Isabel giggled.  
  
“That was really something, wasn’t it?” Farlan chuckled.  
  
“Shut up and go to sleep,” I told them.  
  
We were camped out in the living room since it’s their last night here and Isabel wanted to make a pillow fort.  
  
“Just admit it was fun,” Isabel whined.  
  
I snorted. “Of course it was fun, did you not see what I got to do to Mikasa’s face?”  
  
“I still smell like that goddamn green-bean casserole,” Farlan said.  
  
“Didn’t you say cranberry sauce got into your asscrack?” Isabel asked.  
  
“Yeah, that was a real surprise, I almost slipped on it in the shower.”  
  
My face twisted in disgust. “Great. I might have to puke now.”  
  
“Where are you going?” Isabel asked as I got up.  
  
“To puke, where else?” I deadpanned. Really, I just needed to say a few things to Mikasa.  
  
She was sitting up in bed, combing her damp hair when I barged into the room.  
  
“You should learn to knock, big-brother, what if I was naked?”  
  
“I’d go permanently blind, and it’d be equally disgusting for the both of us,” I answered the rhetorical question with a bored tone. “Move, fleabag.” I pushed Yuki off from where she was sitting on Mikasa’s desk so I could plop my ass there instead.  
  
“What do you want?” Mikasa asked as she threw her comb at me.  
  
“You know what this is about,” I said.  
  
“Hmm, does it start with an E and end with a REN?”  
  
“Don’t test me, brat.”  
  
Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Look, I won fair and square, okay? Eren just likes me better than you, what else can I say? I’m sorry. He’s my boyfriend now, so kindly butt the _fuck out_ ,” she spat.  
  
I dug my nails into the side of the desk. _Hoh? This bitch thinks she’s actually won?_ “Mikasa, let me put this to you slowly so that you can understand...you. haven’t. won. _shit_ ,” I enunciated each word with bite.  
  
“What does that mean? Of course I have.” Mikasa scoffed.  
  
“It means, Mikasa, that the games not fucking over!” I snapped.  
  
“Says who?”  
  
“Says me!”  
  
“You can’t do that; Eren’s perfectly happy as _my_ boyfriend, don’t be a homewrecker, Levi!”  
  
“Boyfriend?” I scoffed. The word tasted bitter on my tongue. “Then why’d he tell Isabel when she asked, that you guys weren’t anything serious?” Because honestly it’s the only hope keeping me going right now.  
  
“Bullshit! He didn’t...say that,” Mikasa murmured, voice faltering towards the end.  
  
“You don’t sound so sure of yourself there, sis,” I taunted.  
  
“Shut up! Get out of my room.”  
  
“Fine, but remember what I said. Game’s not over.”  
  
“Get out!”  
  
I left the room chuckling to myself. Oh this is far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that got out of hand. Expect another Mika POV soon =’①。①’=
> 
>  


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa wonders if she's just Eren's fuckbuddy, she ends up having a breakdown. Levi acts like the mature adult he fucking is. Eren may or may not be a slut (but seriously, Mika, quit your slut shaming).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE THE RATING CHANGE. I didn't even mean to write EREMIKA SMUT it just kinda happened. If you're NOT COMFORTABLE with it SKIP TO THE FIRST LINE BREAK. This has been a psa. (=｀ω´=)
> 
> This wrote itself so smoothly like...it's ridiculous, but I'm very satisfied with this chapter. Please go forth and read.

Heaven was Eren’s lips. Soft, supple, and tasting faintly of the strawberry lip-gloss that had rubbed off mine. We were both panting slightly as we parted momentarily, allowing for the removal of our shirts. We met back in a fervent kiss, tongues tangling and hands roaming each other’s bodies as we tried to get as close as possible. My hands tangled in Eren’s silky brown hair as I locked my legs tight around his waist. I practically moaned into his mouth as I felt his erection brush against my core, wishing the thin material of our clothes weren’t in the way.  
  
This time he rocked against me purposefully, probably enjoying the little squeak I made if the telltale curve of his lips as he smirked against my mouth was anything to go by. He began to trail hot opened mouth kisses down my neck, coming to stop at the top of my left breast, where the flesh spilled out from the top of my bra. He sucked on the skin there for a moment, before reaching around to unclasp my bra and throw it somewhere across the room. Then his hot breath was ghosting over my hardened nipple. My back arched as took it into his hot mouth, sucking and rolling his tongue over it while he kneaded my other breast in his hand.  
  
My body felt feverish as I clutched the bed sheets in one hand, other tangled in Eren’s hair.  
  
“E-Eren,” I whimpered breathlessly.  
  
I heard him chuckle softly as he started trailing kisses down my body again. His tongue stopped to playfully run over my belly-button [piercing](http://www.casjewellery.com/upfile/201210/634853024405943750.jpg), tugging slightly on the little hanging kitty-cat charm.  
  
His hand swiftly popped open the button on my shorts and continued on to drag them down my legs. He made a little appreciative hum at the sight of my black lace panties with little bows tied at the sides.  
  
He placed a kiss to my skin, just above the hem of my underwear. “You’re beautiful, Mikasa,” he told me. He looked up at me with those pretty blue-green eyes that made me want to melt into the fucking bed. I could drown in those eyes. How dare he be so dreamy.  
  
He slipped my underwear down my legs slowly, and I helped kick them off. He glided his hands down my legs, pushing gently at my knees until I parted them to allow for him to slink in between. He lowered himself and my breath hitched when I felt him breathe lightly against my exposed pussy. He gave a long lick up my slit and I curled my hand into the sheets as I let out a shameless whimper, “Eren.”  
  
He licked lightly at my clit, tantalizingly fast so that each flick drove me crazy. He prodded a finger at my opening, teasing for a bit until he slipped it in knuckle deep. He added another finger, curling them and thrusting them in and out at a moderate pace as I moaned and rocked against them.  
  
_Oh s-shit!_ I nearly screamed when he sucked my clit between his lips as he continued to finger me. I could already feel the tight coil winding in my lower abdomen, hear engulfing me, pleasurable tingles spreading up from my toes and throughout my body.  
  
Eren pulled his fingers away with an obscene wet squelching noise. I was gonna complain at the loss ntil I felt his tongue enter me. The muscle plunged in and out my hole, just as his fingers had been doing.  
  
“Mhmm, E-E-Er-en, oh…” My hands tangled once again in his hair, hips uncontrollably rocking against his ministrations until he held my hips down with both hands.  
  
He alternated between tongue fucking me and sucking on my swollen little clit until I was a writhing mess underneath him, but he never let me cum. He only kept me on the edge of release until I couldn’t take it anymore.  
  
“Eren, please,” I whimpered.  
  
“Please, what?” He had on a smirk that would’ve been cute had I not been so fucking desperate for _release_. Right now that smirked just seemed sadistic.  
  
“Please hurry up and fuck me.” _Holy fuck please hurry up._  
  
“All you had to do was ask.” He leaned over to get to the nightstand. He rifled through a drawer and came back with a condom.  
  
“You still have your jeans on,” I huffed in annoyance. The way his dick was straining against his the material of his tight jeans had to be painful. I moved to undo them and wasted no time in tugging them down along with his boxers. He moved to shake them off. I eyed his thick cock in appreciation as he slid the condom on. Then all thought process flew out the window when he captured me in a passionate kiss and said cock brushed against my pussy. He entered me slowly, like he was trying to go inch by slow inch, but I’d had enough teasing and slammed my hips down, allowing me to take his dick in to the brim. We moaned simultaneously.  
  
He started a fast. almost unforgiving pace, practically pounding into me since we were both pretty riled up at this point and aching to just _get off_.  
  
I tried to match him thrust for thrust, the only sounds in the room were the wet smacks of our flesh meeting, the creek of the bed, and my moans and whimper of, “Ah! Ahhuh E-E-Er-Ere-ren!” and Eren’s sexy groans sounding somewhat gutteral as he fucked into me with abandon.  
  
We shared a sloppy kiss that I broke when I came with a shrill cry of his name, practically seeing stars behind my closed eyelids as a wave of utter euphoria erupted through me, my toes curled and my nails dug into Eren’s back as he continued his now sporadic thrusts, and I was nearly sobbing as I rode out my orgasm.  
  
“Fuck...’Kasa,” Eren moaned. I could feel his cock pulsing as he came and I relished in the sensation.  
  
We were both panting messes as we came down from our high. After a moment or two, Eren rolled off of me and to the side. I watched as he disposed of the used condom and flopped back down in bed. His tan skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat, and his abdominal muscles twitched minisculely as he sat up to lean against the headboard. He was delicious.  
  
I cuddled into his side and he sighed as he stroked my hair. _So warm…_ I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the peaceful silence.  
  
That peace was unfortunately interrupted by the sudden noise of Eren’s shrill ringtone. He patted my arm, signaling for me to move so he could get to his phone which was vibrating precariously on the nightstand, edging closer to the edge with each vibration.  
  
“Armin?” He answered.  
  
I couldn’t hear anything from Armin, but whatever he said made Eren’s eyes light up. “Oh yeah, I forgot...ha, sorry,” he muttered into the phone, “nah, I’ll be out. Give me like five minutes.” He ended the call and threw his phone on the bed.  
  
I watched as he slipped into his discarded jeans and threw his shirt on hurriedly. “Sorry, but Armin and I have plans tonight. I completely forgot. You know your way out, right? Sorry.” He placed a kiss to the top of my head and then he was rushing out the door, nearly tripping as he tried to step into his shoes.  
  
I suddenly felt very cold, left abandoned and naked on his bed.

* * *

_  
  
_ “I can’t be ‘not anything serious’ right? I mean...I feel like we _connected_ ya know? That kind of passion can’t be faked...right? I’m pretty sure he _like_ likes me, so-”  
  
“Well yeah, he has to like you, otherwise he wouldn’t have banged you,” Annie said.  
  
My eye twitched. I wish I could strangle her through the phone. “But does he, ya know, want me to be his girlfriend? That’s what I am right?” Of course I am, why am I doubting this?  
  
“I don’t know, Mik, have you DTR’ed yet?” Annie asked.  
  
“If we did, I wouldn’t be asking your opinion!” _God, Annie, keep up.  
  
_ “So between shoving his tongue down your throat, or having his dick inside you, has he ever uttered the word ‘girlfriend?’”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Hmm...Well, if you want an answer then maybe just ask him out on an actual date? Renounce your fuckbuddy status. Prove you’re girlfriend material,” Annie said.  
  
“I am not his fuckbuddy!” I snapped.  
  
“Then ask him on a fucking date!”  
  
“Fine!”  
  
“Thank fuck!”  
  
“How should I bring it up?”  
  
“...”

* * *

_  
  
_ “So then Sasha almost bit my hand off, just for trying to sneak a cookie past her…” I was babbling.  
  
“Uh huh…” And Eren didn’t even seem to be paying attention as he ran his hand up under my shirt and sucked on my neck harshly.  
  
We were at his house, upstairs in the second entertainment room. The TV was playing some random horror film we weren’t even watching, and I was sitting in Eren’s lap trying to tell him about my day...but he didn’t seem to even care about anything I had to say.  
  
_I am not a fuckbuddy, I am not a fuckbuddy, I am not a fuckbuddy, I am not…_ “Eren?” I tugged on his hair lightly.  
  
“Hmm?” He finally looked up at me.  
  
“Wanna see a movie Saturday?” I asked. Should I have explicitly said _go on a date_?  
  
“Uh...Saturday’s not really good for me, I have something with Armin that day,” Eren said.  
  
My eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Isn’t Armin going fishing with his grandfather this weekend?” I questioned. The blond had mentioned it to me just yesterday.  
  
Eren chuckled, sounding a bit nervous. I noticed the way he wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Did I say Armin? I meant Jean,” he said.  
  
“I thought you didn’t like Jean?” I accused.  
  
“It’s kind of a...complicated thing with him. Like, he’s a douche most of the time yeah, but I’ve known him since elementary school. Funny thing, he used to be chubby, so I would get him all riled up by-”  
  
I cut him off, irritated that he was trying to distract me, “Eren, what am I to you?”  
  
He met my gaze, eyes widening a bit. “Uh…” He patted his hand against my thigh absentmindedly, probably uncomfortable that I was still on top of him while interrogating him.  
  
“Cause...see, Eren, I really like you. Like really _really_ like you. I mean one might even go so far as to say l-love.” _Oh god confessions are scary, kill me, kill me now.  
  
_ “Love?” Eren sounded like he was choking.  
  
“Yes, love,” I clarified. I mean I know I kinda stuttered, but _did I fucking stutter!?  
  
_ “Um…”  
  
“And how do you feel?”  
  
“About what?”  
  
“About me, of course.” I rolled my eyes. _Get with it, Eren.  
  
_ “Well, you’re....a great person. An awesome person. And you’re...um...really hot and...nice?”  
  
“That last one sounded like a question.”  
  
“Did not! Look, Mikasa, uh...my parents are gonna be home soon and I have to meet up with Connie, so I’ll see you later?”  
  
Is he honestly kicking me out?  
  
“But-”  
  
“Later. Promise.” He silenced me with a kiss and then lightly pushed me off his lap.

* * *

_  
  
_ “God fucking dammit!” I screamed as I threw my rainbow colored bear pillow-pet across the room. I knocked whatever the hell was on my desk off for good measure also. My laptop crashed to the floor and I winced in regret before kicking the closed door as hard as I could.  
  
“Woah, woah, woah, what the fuck is going on in here?” Levi opened my bedroom door just as I was about to slide down to the floor and rest my back against it like some typical angsty music video or something. I fell forward, face down on the floor with my cheek pressing into the carpet and my ass sticking up.  
  
“Big-brother!” I whimpered. I’m not gonna cry. He can’t know about my... humiliation. I won’t give him the satisfaction after he mocked my relationship with Eren. Pssh, _relationship_. I’m just a fuck. Just a warm body for that bright-eyed fucker to sink his dick into. Just a warm body to wet that glorious co- “Fuck!” I pounded my fist into the floor.  
  
“Mika, get up from there, it’s dirty,” Levi told me. He nudged my ass with his foot.  
  
“I don’t care! And why do _you_ care? It’s not like you care if I get sick or anything, you _hate_ me! You probably wish I were dead! You’d trade me for Isabel in a heartbeat! I’m the worst sister ever and you’d dance on my fucking grave!” I was sobbing now, angry tears leaking from my eyes as I was too far gone to care that I was acting like a drama queen. Level headed Mikasa Ackerman has left the building. I’m just a fucking heartbroken _child_.  
  
“Mikasa! You’re freaking me out!” Levi snapped. He crouched down besides me and brushed away strands of hair that had gotten into my mouth. “I don’t hate you,” he told me, voice surprisingly gentle.  
  
“You love me?” I inquired with a pathetic whimper.  
  
“I wouldn’t go that far, Brat,” he scoffed.  
  
“Leeeevii!”  
  
“I _tolerate you_!”  
  
“Leeevi!  
  
“You’re not so bad-”  
  
“Big. Brother!”  
  
“Fine! I love you, alright!? I’m your brother, of course I love you, you little shit!” Levi yelled, voice harsh for someone who just said ‘I love you.’  
  
“But you know who doesn’t love me? Eren that’s who,” I muttered bitterly. “Eren doesn’t love me.”  
  
Levi was quiet for a moment. “Mika...were you so stupid that you...you went and professed your so called ‘love?’” He asked.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“You love that idiot?”  
  
“Don’t you?”  
  
“I mean...I _like_ the kid. He’s fuckable. He’s good potential boyfriend material. I could definitely fall in love with that sweet ass of his. But, Mika...I think you came on too strong. You can’t say shit like that and then expect him not to bail. You’ve only been ‘dating’ a couple weeks-”  
  
“We were never dating,” I muttered into the floor.  
  
“I kinda figured, you stupid brat.”  
  
“And why would he love me anyway? I’m a horrible person!” I cried.  
  
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Levi snickered.  
  
“Quit making me feel worse!” I snapped.  
  
He sighed before lending a hand out to me. I didn’t take it, and just turned over to sprawl out with my back against the floor.  
  
“Damn, Brat.” He sighed in exasperation as he bent down and roughly grabbed my shoulders. I flailed around, practically lifeless, so he carried me over to my bed. He dropped me unceremoniously on the purple comforter. I turned around to hug my Hello-kitty pillow to my chest.  
  
“So I’m a very bad person…” I started.  
  
I felt the bed dip as Levi sat down. “Yeah, what of it?”  
  
“I mean really bad.”  
  
“How so?” He sounded like he was running out of patience.  
  
“I told a lie,” I stated.  
  
“We all tell lies.”  
  
“But this one wa _s real_ bad.”  
  
“Okay, how bad?”  
  
“Bad enough that you’re gonna want to punch me.”  
  
“Possibly. I won’t know unless you tell me.”  
  
“But I don’t want to be punched. Your punches hurt for such a shortie!”  
  
“Mikasa, I should punch you just for that remark! But seriously, just fucking tell me-”  
  
“I told Eren you were straight!” I blurted out, immediately tensing and squeezing my eyes shut as I waited for Levi’s fist.  
  
It never came. I peeked one eye open when five seconds passed without any movement or sounds from him. “Hmm...devious, aren’t you? Didn’t know you had it in you,” he finally broke the silence, "but honest question is, how the fuck did he even believe that?”  
  
“You’re not gonna hit me?”  
  
“It’s not fun beating someone who’s already crying.”  
  
“That’s like...almost poetic. Anyway, the next lie is worse though.”  
  
“I can take it.”  
  
“So I kinda told him that you and Isabel used to date-”  
  
“What?” His disgusted scoff morphed into laughter. “That...that’s just...impossible and very much repulsive. Me and _Isabel_? Ha fucking HA!” _Are you choking Big-brother?_ I turned around to see him wipe a tear from his eye. “That’s worse than believing I’m straight, fuck, how dense is this kid?”  
  
“I also might have slipped in that you’re a tad homophobic as well,” I admitted.  
  
Levi sighed. “Now that one...that one, kid, is playing fuckin’ dirtier than vermin in a trash-bin,” he said.  
  
“What even the hell is that analogy?”  
  
“It’s a good one! It means that you crossed the fucking line, Mika! Rotten fuckin’ brat.” He flicked my forehead.  
  
I pouted and held a hand over it. “I know, alright! I know. And I guess...I’m sorry,” I sheepishly murmured.  
  
“You _guess_?”  
  
“I am sor- _ry_!”  
  
“Fucking better be! What the actual fuck, Mikasa?! Who does shit like that!”  
  
“We never said we were playing fair!”  
  
“I figured we’d still have some common FUCKING _HUMAN DECENCY_!”  
  
“WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER ANYMORE!? I’m a big fat loser, because even though you were out of the picture, Eren still _didn’t want me_! At least, he doesn’t want to date me that is….”  
  
“So what you’re saying is, you lose? You resign? _I_ win?”  
  
“You don’t officially win until you can call Eren yours!” I snapped.  
  
“Well,” Levi smirked, “that should be easy, shouldn’t it?”  
  
“Yeah, you would think,” I spat, just a tad bitter.  
  
“Hey-” The doorbell rang from downstairs, causing Levi to sigh. “I don’t wanna answer it.”  
  
I pushed him out of the bed, “answer it!”  
  
He left the room and I heard the front door open some seconds later.  
  
“Is Mikasa here?”  
  
“Shit, it’s Eren!” I hissed to myself upon hearing his voice. I scrambled off the bed and over to my full length mirror, trying to smooth down my hair and wipe my tears and snot away.  
  
“She’s feeling a little...sick,” I heard Levi say.  
  
“Oh. Well, I just wanted to-”  
  
“I’m perfectly fine, Levi!” I shouted as I rushed downstairs after making myself presentable.  
  
“Hey, ‘Kasa, I wanted to talk-”  
  
“Yeah, sure! We can talk in my room.” I dragged Eren along by the arm, rushing upstairs and into my bedroom. I slammed the door behind us loudly in my haste, causing Eren to wince a little. “Sorry, what’d you wanna talk about?”  
  
Part of me was hoping that maybe he reconsidered the date thing, but then the more rational part was reasoning that probably wasn’t likely.  
  
Eren sighed as we both sat down on the bed. He seemed to be thinking about something as he stared at his hands that were folded on his lap before raising his head to meet my eager gaze. “Mikasa,” he started,  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“You asked me before what you meant to me and...I’d say that you’re a good friend. And I don’t want to change that-”  
  
“Am I even your friend, Eren? Or just your _fuckbuddy_ ,” I spat the last word with obvious disdain.  
  
Eren winced. “Okay, I’ll be real here, we fucked a few times...but that doesn’t mean I don’t value you as a person. I still want to be your friend even if we stop fooling around. You know, if you’d let me. And we really shouldn’t fool around anymore cause I don’t want to disrespect your feelings for me or anything. And also...I mean the relationship is kind of complicated but...I’m kinda seeing someone else right now.”  
  
_What?_ “What?”  
  
“Do you know Erwin? Tall, blond and, uh, kinda my ex. We just reconciled yesterday and...I wanted to tell you earlier today, but-”  
  
“You wanted to fuck me one last time?” I finished for him, words feeling bitter on my tongue as I sneered at him. _That’s...that’s just..._ despicable.  
  
“No! No, no, god no! I just...couldn’t find a way to tell you? And alright, I was stupid, okay? Thinking with the wrong head if ya know what I mean-”  
  
“And how would _Erwin_ feel if that day one you got back together, _you_ were off sucking face with another chick!”  
  
“I told you, it’s complicated! Look, that fucker isn’t exactly innocent!”  
  
“Then why go back to him?!”  
  
“I don’t see how that’s any of _your_ business!”  
  
“Whatever! I guess you fit together perfectly then since you’re apparently both dirty fucking sluts!”  
  
“Did you just call me a _slut_?!”  
  
“So what if I did?!”  
  
“Honey, I wasn’t the one wearing crotchless panties the other day, or the one sending dirty snapchats from the fucking school bathroom!”  
  
“Fuck you, Eren!”  
  
“You have fucked me! In fact, you’ve practically begged for it!”  
  
“And I regret it! Your dick is...weird anyway!”  
  
“People love my dick!”  
  
“So you admit you sleep around?!”  
  
“Hey! I do not-”  
  
“You know what, Eren, why don’t you just go fucking _die_! Fuckin’ slut! Eren’s a slut! Did ya hear me world?! EREN IS A DIRTY WHORE!”  
  
“MIKASA!”  
  
“EREN’S A WHORE, EREN’S A WHORE-”  
  
“WHAT IN THE _ACTUAL FUCK_ IS GOING ON IN HERE?!” Levi burst into the room, only to find Eren and I shouting in each other’s faces.  
  
Well actually I was marching around the room screaming, “EREN’S A WHORE!” at the top of my lungs, but...details.  
  
“Mikasa’s slut-shaming me,” Eren told Levi, tone completely flat and void of emotion. Hell, maybe even void of soul. I think we both died there a little bit after all that screaming.  
  
“Eren left me for Erwin!” I shouted.  
  
Levi just stared blankly into space for a while before a twisted maniacal grinned settled on his face. He shook his head. “I’m just gonna go drown myself in the fucking tub,” he announced before leaving the room.  
  
“Bring a toaster in with you!” I called after him, “get the job done quicker!”  
  
“Noted!” Heyelled back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, if I wasn't so lazy and actually had chapter titles, this would have been titled 'Help, I forgot how to write hetero smut' like I wrote it easily enough but editing was a bitch... I should stop writing when I'm sleep deprived. Anyway it looks like Mika is out of the game (for now?) but enter opponent Erwin Smith into the ring holy shiiit o(^・x・^)o 
> 
>  


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's working with any angle he can get at this point. Mike isn't much help, and Hanji is really mischievous (or just really needs to learn to keep her mouth shut).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things are lookin' complicated yeah. You get some Eruren back story, some surprise Rivamike (Mikeri? What teh fuck be their ship name?) excessive swearing and scheming teenagers ヽ(。_°)ノ

“Why are you growling like an aggravated chihuahua?” Hanji asked as she plopped down in the stool next to me.  
  
“Don’t call me that! And that’s not your seat, Shitty-glasses.”  
  
“So? My lab partner’s out and I’m sure yours won’t mind. You’re kinda scary, ya know? They probably need a break.”  
  
“Hey, you fucker-”  
  
“Anywayyy, why do you seem grumpier than usual? Did Mikasa piss in your cheerios this morning?”  
  
“That’s fucking unsanitary and I prefer Frosted Mini-Wheats, helps me shit better.”  
  
“My favorite is Cookie Crisp.”  
  
“I didn’t ask.”  
  
“Levi, talk to me! What’s got my Short-baby in a tizzy?” She leaned over to squeeze my cheeks.  
  
I batted her hands away. “Get your filthy hands off my face!”  
  
She retracted her hands with a sigh. “Why won’t you tell me what’s up?”  
  
“Nothing’s up, and don’t do that idiot, you’ll fall,” I warned her as she leaned back in her chair, the stool wobbling slightly as the front two legs lifted off the floor.  
  
“Aw, are you saying you care about me?”  
  
“No. The teacher might think I pushed you and I’ll end up in detention, trapped in a room with imbeciles I clearly shouldn’t be grouped with. That, or you’ll dent the floor.”  
  
“Are you calling me fat? But fine, be that way, don’t tell me. I can pretty much guess what’s bothering you anyway. It’s Eren, isn’t it? Or to be more specific, Eren together with Erwin.”  
  
I felt my eye twitch at the mention of that fucker and Hanji gave me a knowing look. “Maybe. Yes.”  
  
“Wanna talk about it?”  
  
“What’s there to talk about? Why should I care-”  
  
“I would’ve taken you for the type to fight for the things they want.”  
  
“Right, and how do you suppose I _fight_ for a guy who seems perfectly happy in his current relationship?” Honestly these past couple of days have sucked major ass. Whenever I see Eren, he’s always hanging all over Erwin and it’s sickening. It’s totally sickening.  
  
He doesn’t even walk home with us anymore. I guess that should be expected seeing as he and Mikasa aren’t exactly on the friendliest terms, and he’s still set on avoiding me for reasons that most likely have to do with Mika’s blatant lies about me. And it’s just...fuck, ya know? Fuck fuck fuck me, fuck my life. Fuck my life for being so agitated over some lousy sophomore with bright eyes and a cute ass.  
  
“Well I really wish I could help, Levi. You seem like a nice guy-”  
  
I snorted at that remark.  
  
“No, it’s true! You’re a nice guy. Maybe a little crude and a lot blunt, but I don’t see that as a bad thing. And you seem so happy when talking about Eren, it’s cute-”  
  
“ _Don’t_ call me cute. And right now, that asshole is making me downright miserable, so-”  
  
“Hey, I said it was cute, not that _you’re_ cute. I mean, you kinda are, Short-baby, but that’s not what I’m trying to get at. I’m just saying that I don’t think you should give up on your feelings.”  
  
I sighed as I stared at her. She talks like it’s so simple, going after the things you want. “Alright, fine. I’ll play along. How do you suppose one wins against Erwin Smith?”  
  
Hanji beamed. “That’s the spirit, Short-baby!”  
  
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever, get on with it.”  
  
“Well, since I am one of Erwin’s closest friends, I don’t wanna divulge any embarrassing secrets about him or anything. I’d feel bad...and he’d have my head. Plus, there’s not much to tell in regards to that department anyway to be honest. But, I’ll help as much as I can! Why don’t I start with the story of how he and Eren got together in the first place…”  
  
“I’m listening,” I prompted.  
  
“‘Kay, so I met Eren at the start of the second semester of my Junior year. He was a Freshman then, obviously, and we met in Art class. I think he was there because of required credits and whatever, but he’s actually pretty good at art…”  
  
I nodded. So those pictures in his room are his then.  
  
“Anyway, I was there cause I was asking to borrow art supplies to make posters for Science Club and whatnot. I started talking to Eren cause his drawing was neat and he looked really cute. Like the little brother I’ve never wanted," Hanji sighed fondly, "He didn’t seem intimidated by an upperclassman such as myself, and he seemed mature for his age too, so I was like ‘we should hang out sometime.’ Then I bumped into him at lunch and I invited him to sit with my friends since he didn’t have anywhere to sit. Turns out his lunch had gotten switched with his new schedule for the semester, and so now he had lunch with the upperclassmen. The minute he sat down at our table, Erwin seemed intrigued. I’ve known Erwin for practically ever and he’d never taken so much of an interest in anyone before, nor had any serious relationships...but he was so immediately smitten by Eren, it was adorable!” She gushed.  
  
I felt my lip curling in disgust.  
  
“Anyway, Anyway, I started hanging out with Eren and I noticed that Erwin always seemed to invite himself over whenever I did so. He’d turn into such a goof sometimes, such a blushing mess with bad pickup lines and huge eyebrows. So un-Erwin like that it was laughable. His crush was so obvious, it was painful. I encouraged him to just go for it, he did, and the rest, as they say, is history….” Hanji had this stupid smile on her face as she sighed dreamily once she finished her little story.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, so why’d they break up?” I asked, impatient for anything that might, I don’t know, _actually_ help.  
  
“I’m getting there, I’m getting there!” Hanji waved me off. “Now this is where it gets angsty.”  
  
“Great, teenage angst is what I live for,” I deadpanned.  
  
“Good to know! So you see Mike over there?” Hanji asked, pointing not so discreetly at the tall ass tree at the back of the classroom who was, at the moment, trying to balance a pencil on his nose. I recognized him as that one dude who’s always sniffing everything.  
  
“Bloodhound?” I raised an eyebrow, “what about him?”  
  
“He’s Erwin’s best friend,” Hanji whispered inconspicuously, “or was, I don’t know anymore. It’s kinda complicated,” she spoke normally now, waving her hand like she couldn’t be bothered to elaborate on the so called complexity of the relationship between those two big ass trees.  
  
“And this is important, why?”  
  
“I would tell you if you’d stop interrupting me!”  
  
“Sheesh, fine!” I held my hands up in surrender.  
  
Hanji nodded, satisfied. “Okay, so Mike was Erwin’s best friend. He had a pretty big crush on Erwin for a looong time. Like, it was obvious as hell to my friends and I. Erwin was either oblivious or in denial. Anyway like I said, before Eren, Erwin had never been interested in anyone, and so Mike never really had any reason to be jealous. But ya know once he started dating Eren, Mike was pretty upset. So fast forward to one night at a party thrown over the summer at my beach house. Everyone got pretty trashed that night. Now all of what I’m about to tell you is what Erwin told me. He said that he and Mike were smashed, and Eren was hanging out somewhere off with his other friends- if I remember correctly, he was with me and some others down at the bonfire. Ha and the little delinquent wasn’t even supposed to be there; can you believe his parents think I’m a bad influence?”  
  
“Yes, I can completely believe that, now get on with the shit,” I ordered.  
  
“Right! I’m digressing, sorry. So they were alone and Mike ended up confessing his feelings and made a move and you can guess what happened after that…”  
  
“They fucked,” I finished.  
  
“Yep. And boy was Eren _pissed_ when he found out. So there was this big, explosive breakup. Several people were left in tears, Mike included. Erwin pretty much told him that their time together was a mistake, and that he couldn’t love him as anything more than a best friend. Ugh, then I had to listen to Erwin whine and cry about how he was still in love with Eren and it was actually kind of pathetic seeing him like that. I wasn’t very sympathetic, he did it to himself after all. Being drunk isn’t an excuse to cheat. Yeah, so now we’re here; Erwin and Mike aren’t what they used to be, and he and Eren…” Hanji trailed off with a sigh.  
  
“Are somehow fucking back together.” Though I don’t see why. “But, why? Why would Eren willing go back to a cheating fuckhead? What’s that saying...once a cheater, always a cheater.” _And how could anyone in their right mind cheat on someone like Eren?  
  
_ “Well let bygones be bygones is also a saying. I don’t know, Levi, but it’s Eren’s choice regardless. And I know Erwin’s not intentionally cruel, I really believe it was a mistake-”  
  
“A momentary lapse of penis,” I cut Hanji off.  
  
She looked at me in bewilderment, “What?”  
  
“He had a momentary lapse of judgement, or as I’d call it, a momentary lapse of penis. It’s when you think with your dick and not your brain,” I clarified, “still, like you said, it’s not an excuse.” In fact it’s practically a crime to cheat on someone as delicious as Eren.  
  
“Yeah and I hope it was a one time thing and he doesn’t make that cutie cry again or so help me I’ll rip his dick off and feed it to my dog...for science, ya know?”  
  
“Right.” I have no objections.  
  
“Erwin has gotten more persistent lately, so maybe he just finally wore Eren down. Reason for that however is probably cause of you and your sister; I wasn’t kidding when I said Erwin perceived you as a threat, Levi.”  
  
“Whatever. So do you think Mike still wants Eyebrows?”  
  
“A crush that lasted that long...no way he’s over him.” Hanji shook her head.  
  
I smirked. “I think getting his help should be easy then.”  
  
“What are you planning, Short-baby? I don’t want anyone getting hurt now,” Hanji said.  
  
“No one’s gonna get hurt,” I assured her.  
  
“Okay, find me at lunch. You can talk to Mike then.”

* * *

_  
  
_ Hanji, Mike and I all sat around at a table in the back of the cafe during lunch.  
  
I felt like we were about to discuss top secret information with the way Hanji kept sweeping her eyes around the room nervously.  
  
I waited for Mike to finish scarfing down his meatball sub so we could actually have an intelligent conversation. I rapped my nails against the table impatiently.  
  
I glared at the table across the cafe where Erwin sat with some others I vaguely recognize from some of my classes. Eren was seated in his lap and I could practically hear his giggles from here as Erwin nuzzled his neck and acted all cutesy and shit and I feel like throwing up _jeez have some decorum you’re in the middle of the school cafeteria no don’t go sticking your tongue down his throat…  
  
_ “So, Hanji says you want my help?” Mike said after wiping his face clean of marinara sauce.  
  
I grimaced. “Yeah, I want to break Eren and Erwin up.”  
  
“And you need my help for that? What if I said I no longer want anything to do with Erwin Smith?” Mike practically spat the name.  
  
“Come on, you can’t say that still don’t want him! I mean look at him, tall, blond, bushy ass eyebrows; he a total...catch,” I forced myself to choke out the words, “total stud. Yep. Don’t you want that all to yourself? If we get rid of Eren, the stud muffin’s all yours.” _Oh god, Levi, what the fuck even is a stud muffin?  
  
_ “Are you suggesting we... _kill_ Eren?” Mike looked appalled.  
  
“What? No! Where’d you get that idea from?” I eyed him warily now. It’s cause he’s probably thought about it before, isn’t it?  
  
“Levi, Mike’s not gonna kill anybody, calm down,” Hanji assured me as she patted my arm.  
  
Mike sighed. “Why do you want to break them up?” He asked.  
  
“Isn’t it obvious? Cause Eren’s ass is mine, that’s why.”  
  
“Oh, were you guys dating before-”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Ha, yeah the closest he got was banging Levi’s sister,” Hanji cackled like it was oh so hilarious, “but Short-baby here has got it bad. He needs your help, Mike,” she told him, tone humorless now.  
  
“I don’t know. Shouldn’t we just leave them alone? Erwin looks pretty content with the kid,” he said.  
  
“Are you a loser, Mike? If you really loved Erwin, you wouldn’t give up so easily,” I stated. Perhaps it’s a bit much, but I really need this fucker on my side.  
  
“Don’t talk about my feelings as if you know them, you don’t even know _me_ ,” he seemed pissed now. Great.  
  
“I know you’re pathetic!” I yelled.  
  
“Who’re you calling pathetic, Little guy?”  
  
“ _Little guy_?! Don’t even fucking go there, you big ass tr-”  
  
“GUYS!” Hanji slammed her hands down on the table. “Calm down, you’re causing a scene!”  
  
It was only then that I noticed half the cafe was staring at us with looks of anticipation as they waited for a fight to break out.  
  
“What’re you fuckers looking at? There ain’t anything to fucking see here, so turn the fuck around!” I shouted.  
  
I heard a few pissed off grumbles as everyone, for the most part, went back to what they were doing.  
  
“I don’t have to put up with this.” Mike shook his head as he stalked off angrily.  
  
“Wait, Mike, I didn’t mean to…” I trailed off with a sigh as I realized I blew it; he’s not coming back.  
  
“Maybe you should just think of a new plan, hmm?” Hanji suggested.  
  
“Huh...maybe.”

* * *

_  
  
_ “You’re grumpier and generally more unpleasant than usual, Big-brother. It’s pretty annoying,” Mikasa commented on the walk home from school.  
  
“Is this your way of saying you’re concerned about me, Brat?  
  
“No. This is my way of saying you’re bitchiness is upsetting me.”  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
“I’m just saying…”  
  
I rolled my eyes and tried to tune out her babbling. My phone vibrated against my thigh, alerting me of a text message. I fished my phone out of my pocket and stared in distaste at the text. What does Hanji want? And why the fuck did I give that psycho my number…  
  
HEY LEVI meet me @ diner. Mike is wit me n he says he’ll hear u out but u gotta pay 4 food (* >ω<)

This better be worth it. FINE, I’ll be there just don’t expect me to pay for a shitload. You fucks better eat every morsel off the goddamn plate.  
  
K Shortbby! (☆^O^☆)

“Hey, Mika, I gotta meet up with some fucks…”

* * *

_  
  
_ “Levi, over here!” Hanji waved enthusiastically from the back of the diner where she at a table with Mike.  
  
“Can you _be_ any louder, Shitty-glasses? I think you got the whole restaurant’s attention.” I slid into the booth opposite Hanji and Mike.  
  
The waitress came over and I just ordered a coke. Hanji had a basket of fries in front of her and Mike had an unnecessarily large banana split and was also working on a burger.  
  
“So you’ve decided to help me?” I asked.  
  
Mike shook his head. “I wanna know your plan first,” he said.  
  
“Plan? Pfft, I don’t know, I’m kinda making this up as I go along. But I was thinking something along the lines of you seducing Erwin again? If you can do it without alcohol this time, that’d be great. Then I’ll just have to make sure Eren sees. Erwin gets the boot, and _you_ get Erwin. Maybe. At least you get to fuck him, am I right?”  
  
“You’re really too much, Levi,” Hanji snorted.  
  
“This feels like a bad teen rom com or something,” Mike muttered, “I don’t really want to mess around with this. Drama isn’t my thing. And contrary to what you might think, I didn’t enjoy hurting Eren, or having my feelings played with. And I don’t even want Erwin-”  
  
“Goddamn it, Mike! Isn’t there just a tiny part of you that wants revenge though? Sure maybe you don’t want Erwin anymore, but he did hurt you, so you can do this to pay him back; to _hurt_ him. Tear apart his relationship like he tore apart your fucking heart! Don’t you want justice?!”  
  
“Not...really?”  
  
“Levi, are you okay? Are you growling? You’re like vibrating in your seat,” Hanji sounded worried.  
  
“Shut. _Up_ ,” I hissed at her, slapping her arm away as she tried to pat my head.  
  
The bell above the diner’s front door rang out, catching Hanji’s attention. I swear she’s like a dog.  
  
I turned to see Erwin entering the diner along with Eren. Speak of the fucking devil, eh.  
  
“Hey, Erwin, Eren!” Hanji called, waving excitedly.  
  
“Hanji, what are you doing? Don’t call them over here!” I snapped.  
  
She winced at my tone. “Whoops. Sorry, force of habit,” she muttered sheepishly.  
  
I scowled at her.  
  
Erwin had an arm slung over Eren’s shoulder as they walked over to our table. God why do they feel the need to come say hi?  
  
“Hanji! Mike...Levi,” Erwin greeted me with much less enthusiasm than the others. He bared his teeth in what I assume was supposed to be a smile.  
  
I just gave him my usual blank expression.  
  
At least Eren’s smile seemed genuine. That is until he locked eyes with Mike, then his smile kinda faltered and his gaze hardened and Mike looked away awkwardly, choosing to stare at the table instead.  
  
“So what brings you hear, Hanji?” Erwin asked.  
  
_Eating, what the fuck does it look like? Or is that just a subtle way of asking ‘why the hell are you hanging around that mongrel Levi.’ Well listen here, you motherfuck-  
  
_ “Ah...just being an awkward third wheel. I didn’t even know Mike and Levi were dating until earlier this morning,” Hanji said.  
  
I stared at her in bewilderment. _“What the fuck are you doing, Shitty-glasses?”_ I tried to communicate with my eyes.  
  
She patted my shoulder in reassurance as if to tell me to go along with it.  
  
“Oh, really?” Erwin raised a skeptical, bushy eyebrow.  
  
“Yes, really,” I snapped at him before reaching across the table to take Mike’s surprised hand in my own, lacing our fingers together in a tight grip. He stared at me in shock and I squeezed his hand tighter, trying to tell him not to blow it or I’d kick his ass.  
  
“Yes...um, I asked him out earlier this week,” Mike said.  
  
“And it’s been great so far,” I lied.  
  
“Definitely...Pookie,” Mike seemed to choke on the word.  
  
I suddenly felt like puking. _Pookie, fucking Pookie?!_ I stomped on his foot under the table.  
  
His wince was poorly concealed.  
  
“Didn’t I tell you I don’t like pet-names, fucker?”  
  
“Right. Sorry, Little-guy.” He smirked at me.  
  
_Oh, this fucker…  
  
_ Hanji placed a hand on my shoulder before I could leap across the table and strangle the bastard.  
  
“I have to go. Why don’t you guys have a double date? You should catch up with Mike, Erwin,” Hanji said.  
  
She hugged both Eyebrows and Eren before she left.  
  
I stared at her retreating back with longing _take me with you..._ and also with indignation because what the absolute fuck does Shitty-glasses think she’s doing? I knew I shouldn’t have trusted her.  
  
At least Erwin won’t take her offer seriously, right? He can fuck off and I can pretend this whole thing never happened… _Wait what, why are you coming to my side of the booth, Mike? Why are Erwin and Eren sitting across from us? Why is your arm around my shoulder? Help, help, I’m so confused…  
  
_ “I don’t think I’ve ever been on a double date before,” Erwin said, breaking the tense silence, “but I really do miss hanging out with you, Mike.”  
  
_Oh god, gag me.  
  
_ “I feel the same.” _Holy shit, Mike, are you about to cry? I can’t handle that. At least I’m not the only one looking awkward, Eren, you look constipated or something…  
  
_ A waiter came by then to take Erwin and Eren’s orders and thankfully distracted Mike and Eyebrows before one of them started bawling or something.  
  
“So, wanna share this banana split...babe?” Mike pushed the bowl of ice cream in front of me.  
  
_Mike, I will punch that teasing smirk off your face._ “I’d rather not have your germs in my-”  
  
“Aw, come on. That’s not what you were saying when you had my dick in your-”  
  
I shoveled ice cream onto the spoon and jabbed it into Mike’s mouth before he could finish that sentence.  
  
I have a feeling this is going to be a long night.

* * *

_  
_ Apparently Erwin thought seeing a movie was too boring for him. Something about it not being a ‘proper double-date activity’ since we’re actually supposed to interact with each other or someshit like that….  
  
So he suggested going to that new entertainment center that just opened up where yeah they have a movie theater, but they also have a huge arcade, bowling alley, and mini-golf. Fucking mini-golf. I’ve never played it, and I really don’t want to.  
  
“Come on, Levi. You put your hand like this, and then take it back and...swing.” Mike was behind me, invading my personal space and pressing right up against me, hands guiding mine as he tried to ‘teach’ me how to hold the golf club.  
  
“What the actual fuck are you doing?” I hissed at him, low enough for Erwin and Eren not to hear.  
  
“Trying to be a realistic boyfriend,” he stated.  
  
“Fucking why? Why don’t we just ‘break up’ right here, right now. Then I can go home and hunt down Hanji and-”  
  
“Or you could calm down.” Mike patted my head and finally let go of me.  
  
I swung and hit the shitty ball into the shitty hole.  
  
“Oh, hole in one! Good first shot, Levi,” Erwin cheered.  
  
I refrained from rolling my eyes. “Yeah, thanks.”  
  
“That’s not the only hole that’s gonna get sunken into tonight, if you know what I mean!”  
  
“Mike, shut the fuck up.”  
  
Mini golf was rather uneventful. Or it would’ve been had it not been for Eren. Watching him was hilarious because he was so bad at it. Like, the kid kept hitting the ball at the windmill and other props along the courses, or losing his club as he swung- at one point, it hit somebody in the head and we all ran away before the poor bastard could get up. I don’t _think_ he was unconscious…  
  
After that we decided to check out the arcade.  
  
“When was the last time I went to a fucking arcade?” I mused to myself as we walked inside.  
  
Erwin and Mike went off to get ‘tokens’ for the games and whatever, leaving Eren and I awkwardly standing around.  
  
“So...you and Mike, huh?” Eren was the first to speak.  
  
“What about us?”  
  
“Nothing, it’s just...you guys look good together. Well, okay maybe a little odd-”  
  
“And why’s that?”  
  
“Well, you know cause he’s super tall and you’re really-”  
  
“If you say short…”  
  
He chuckled. “Hey, in my defense I was just gonna say ‘ _you’re really not_ ’ but it’s the same thing I guess. Don’t punch me, please. Anyway...I’m kind of confused.”  
  
“About what?”  
  
“It’s just that...Mikasa told me you were straight,” he said.  
  
_Hah, well you see, Eren, my sister is a lying bitch._ “Doesn’t surprise me. She probably said some other things about me that aren’t true. She’s always trying to make me look bad. It’s a...sibling thing. Or just a Mika thing, really. She’s a bitch,” I explained.  
  
“Hm.”  
  
“But just so you know, I’m gayer than a unicorn named Dick riding a rainbow made of dicks.”  
  
“Really?” He chortled.  
  
_Dammit his laugh makes me wanna laugh._ “Yes, really.”  
  
Erwin and Mike interrupted us then,  
  
“The credits for all the games are on these cards…”

* * *

_  
  
_ “Shit, Shit, shit! Keep the fuck up, Mike, I’m dying here!” I shouted as I shot at the nasty faced rotting motherfuckers- all by myfuckingself.  
  
“I’m trying, I’m trying!” Mike yelled.  
  
“Well you’re not trying hard enough!”  
  
We were playing this stupid zombie survival game and Mike was shit at it. The video game itself wasn’t so bad, it had a 3D screen, decent graphics, and awesome sound effects. Now if only my partner wasn’t such shit…  
  
“Are you dead?! Are you fucking _dead_?!” Now I really am all by myself, fuck.  
  
Someone tapped me on the shoulder- fucking Erwin. “Hey, Levi, you’re hogging the game,” he told me.  
  
“Fuck off, Eyebrows, I’m not dead yet!”  
  
A zombie popped out of nowhere. I couldn’t shake him off before my character fucking died. I sighed as I took off my 3D goggles. “Well _now_ I’m dead, thanks Shitwin.”  
  
“Shitwin? That’s a new one.” He chuckled to himself.  
  
“Can we play something else now?” Mike whined.  
  
I pushed him. “If you don’t wanna play, get your tall ass outta here.”  
  
“Yes, babe.” I could practically hear him roll his eyes.  
  
“C’mon Levi, Eren wants to play DDR,” Erwin said.  
  
“Hey, Shitwin, wanna have a competition?” I asked, holding the other pair of 3D goggles out to him.  
  
“I don’t think-”  
  
“What are you, scared?” I challenged, raising an eyebrow at him.  
  
“Definitely not. I’ll have you know, I’m quite good at these shooter games,” he said as he snatched the goggles from my hand with more force than was necessary.  
  
“Whatever you say, _Shit_ win.”

* * *

_  
  
_ “Guys, this is getting ridiculous,” Mike said.  
  
“I don’t wanna agree with him, but it really is,” Eren sighed.  
  
“Fuck. Off. Just. One. More. Zombie!”  
  
“Eren, baby, give us a few more minutes-”  
  
“Erwin, you’ve been at this for an hour.”  
  
“Hey, you should just leave them alone, they’re totally about to break the highscore!” Some kid shouted.  
  
“Damn right I am,” Erwin muttered under his breath.  
  
“Please, Eyebrows, fuckin’ _please_ ,” I snorted.  
  
“Oh shit, a horde!”  
  
“Damn it, damn it, damn it…” I chanted as a swarm of zombies came at us. This is it, this is the end of the road.  
  
We took down as many as we could, but in the end, it was futile. Both our characters dropped dead.  
  
“What’s the kill count, what’s the kill count?!” Someone excitedly asked.  
  
“1,200,213,” was mine.  
  
“1,200,193,” was Erwin’s.  
  
“The damn highest score on this thing is over 1,400,000.” What bullshit.  
  
“But I still beat you, Eyebrows,” I goaded. My name was second place overall, but all I cared about was that it hung above Erwin’s.  
  
“Not by much,” he scoffed.  
  
I smirked at him. “Sore loser, are you?”  
  
“Are you done now, like finally?” Eren sounded completely exasperated.  
  
Erwin appeased him with a kiss. I had to look away before I puked my guts up or something equally disgusting.  
  
Mike slung an arm around my shoulders- the tall fuck had to bend a little just to do it. “Shall we play a game of airhockey?”

* * *

_  
  
_ We ended up having an air hockey tournament, but were forced to stop since Erwin and I were getting ‘too competitive’ again. Whatever. And I would’ve fucking won too…  
  
Right now I was watching in awe as Mike battled against Eren in Dance Dance Revolution. How can someone with legs that long be so...nimble? He was surprisingly quite good.  
  
Then again, that’s not to say Eren wasn’t. Plus, he looks cute bouncing around, and so does that ass of his…  
  
“I don’t think Mike would appreciate you ogling my boyfriend,” Erwin told me, speaking straight into my ear.  
  
I turned to glare at him. “I wasn’t staring at your boyfriend, _Shitwin_ ,” I spat.  
  
His blue eyes were icy as he glared at me. “Really? I don’t particularly trust you-”  
  
“Oh boo-hoo, how will I ever live?” I sneered.  
  
“And I don’t think you’re good enough for my best friend,” he continued.  
  
_This asshole._ “Oh you mean the ‘best friend’ that you abandoned for I don’t know how long? The ‘best friend’ that you fucked over- quite literally, might I add.”  
  
Eyebrows looked pissed now. “You shouldn’t talk of things you don’t know,” his tone was steely now.  
  
“I know that you’re not good enough for Mike either. You call yourself his best friend? You’re pathetic. And you’re definitely not good for Eren,” I stated.  
  
“Um...what’s going on?” Eren asked. His and Mike’s game must have finished cause they came bounding over both looking worriedly between Erwin and I.  
  
I noticed how close we’d gotten, just a step away from bumping chests. My hands were clenched into fists, his eyes were narrowed dangerously.  
  
Erwin took a step back. “Nothing, Levi and I were just having an...interesting conversation,” he said. His expression went from murderous to perfectly cheerful within a nanosecond. His tight-lipped smile almost looked like the real thing. He pulled Eren over to him, “Let’s go cash in our tickets.”

* * *

_  
_ “Where were you tonight?” Mikasa asked as I plopped down next to her on the couch where she sat watching TV in her pajamas. “And what is that purple monstrosity?”  
  
“I was out on a date. A fucking double date. This is Freddie, and he’s a fucking dragon, you rude ass. Mike gave him to me.” I threw the purple plush on the floor. Why is it almost fucking taller than me? Over-sized stuffed piece of shit….  
  
“And this Mike person was your date?” Mikasa asked.  
  
“Fake boyfriend,” I clarified.  
  
“Why do you have a fake boyfriend?”  
  
“Because I fucking can. It’s a ploy to...get closer to Eren,” I admitted. Not a total lie, it _did_ get him talking to me again so… “In fact, the double date was with him and Erwin.”  
  
“Sounds awkward,” Mikasa said, seemingly losing interest as she turned back to her crappy reality show.  
  
“Hah, tell me about it.”

* * *

_  
_ "You seem quite chipper this morning." _  
  
_ “Do I?” I mused, smiling just a bit as I stared out the window. “What’s not to be cheery about? The sun is shining, birds are singing, and Eren’s talking to me again.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yep. Look at all these texts.” I shoved my phone into Hanji’s hand.  
  
“Aw he greeted you good morning! Huh, he sure shit-talks his teachers a lot...and sends a lot of memes...Levi, this part of the conversation is nothing but emojis. You two are so fucking lame,” she giggled as she scrolled through the text log.  
  
“You know, I was thinking about punching you today, Shit-glasses, but I think I might just have to thank you,” I admitted.  
  
She smiled a shit eating grin. “My Short-baby’s _thanking_ me?! Hallelujah.”  
  
“Don’t get used to it.”  
  
“So how did the date go? Admittedly I really just wanted to get Mike and Erwin talking again.”  
  
“Yeah, well they’re talking. Mike’s also a shithead, by the way. Most of the date consisted of me wanting to strangle him,” I said.  
  
“Aw, babe, can you even reach my neck?” Mike taunted, choosing that precise moment to walk into the classroom.  
  
Hanji snickered as I punched him in the arm.  
  
“Want a demonstration, asswipe? I’ll have your ass on the floor!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least Eren is acknowledging Levi's existence again. Poor fucking gay baby. Next chapter has Levi in an elf costume- don't miss it (^_−)☆
> 
>  


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi makes children cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing really important happens and I just had the need to put Levi in a cheesy Christmas costume (=｀ω´=)

December sucks. It’s cold as fuck, finals have gone and passed but oh what a fucking headache they were...Mostly I hate it cause everyone’s getting all cheery for the holidays. Fuck the holidays.  
  
The only good thing about all the bullshit is Christmas break. I need a break (as does everyone), so fuck at least let me spend it in peace you absolute shithead…  
  
“Levi, Levi, please! Come on,” Eren whined. _Ugh, this absolute adorable shithead.  
  
_ “I’m not-”  
  
“Do you want them to cancel Santa’s visit all together? Do you want to make tons of innocent little children cry just because you-”  
  
“Yes! That is my goal in life, to make little brats cry so hard they shit their-”  
  
“Levi!”  
  
I sighed. “Why the hell is your stupid boyfriend dressing up as Santa anyway? Don’t you have to like over fifty and decrepit for that mall Santa shit?”  
  
“The usual Santa, Mr. Zackly, he...um, well he kinda got arrested earlier this morning- DUI or so I’m told. So then Erwin’s dad was asked to fill in, but he can’t make it, and so they decided that Erwin was good enough and _bam_ now he’s Santa. They’re short some elves so that’s where you come in…”  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
“Come on! You’ll be paid in advance, and everyone that helps is promised volunteer hours. Don’t you need those? I sure do. So please. The costumes aren’t even that bad...Please, Levi, please I need you! It would really mean a lot…”  
  
_Hoh, he_ needs _me? Say that again, Eren. Come on, beg some more._ “Hmm...I still don’t-”  
  
“Leviiii!” He was pouting now, staring at me with pitiful, big bright eyes.  
  
_Don’t give me that fucking puppy-dog look, Kid. My heart will burst. It’ll be disgusting._ “Alright, alright, I’ll do it! Just shut up,” I snapped.  
  
Eren’s demeanor went from whiny to gleeful in a snap. His grin was so bright I feared I’d go blind. “Thanks, Levi!” He tackled me in a hug that was over before it began. _Fuck, Eren let me hold you some more. Hell, I sound creepy as fuck.  
  
_ “I’m not promising I’ll be nice to the little shits....”

* * *

_  
  
_ “Why am I doing this?” I groaned.  
  
“Because you’re trying to get into Eren’s pants,” Mikasa said, tone completely flat and full of boredom, “the question is, why am _I_ doing this? Oh right, because no one can say no to that bright-eyed fuck…” she grumbled to herself.  
  
“At least you don’t look ridiculous, Mika. You’re a girl; you can pull this look off. I am wearing fucking tights and they’re giving me a wedgie!” I complained.  
  
“TMI, Big-brother!”  
  
“Are we all ready to go? The kiddos should start lining up soon,” Hanji said. She looked absurd in her ‘Mrs. Claus’ outfit. The red velvet [dress](http://www.halloweencostumes.com/mrs-st-nick-costume.html) wasn’t so bad _,_ but the makeup and white wig she had on to make her look like an old hag was just comical.  
  
“I think you’re Santa’s tiniest elf,” Mike commented, leaning his elbow on my head.  
  
“You fucker, have you _seen_ Historia? That title obviously belongs to her. And get off!” I pushed his arm away. “Why aren’t you dressed up?” He wearing simple jeans and a green button down.  
  
“Do you not see my candy cane bow tie?” He pointed to it proudly. “Plus I can’t be an elf, I’m much too tall. It’d be ludicrous,” he said.  
  
“Right.”  
  
“And I’m only here to sell shit and show my boyfriend some support. Now go pass out candy canes, fucking midget elf.” He placed a kiss to my forehead before walking away and I wiped my hand across it in disgust. It’s been a couple weeks since we started this fake relationship- well, more like Hanji started it. We figured we’ll break up when it’s convenient. I gotta think up a plan, scope out the enemy some more- yes, the enemy is Erwin Smith….  
  
“Levi, you forgot your hat!” Eren called as he came bounding over, clutching said hat in his hands.  
  
“Thanks, Brat.” I sighed as I placed the red and green hat on my head. The fucking Santa hat even had a small golden bell attached to the end of it.  
  
“You look really good,” Eren told me with an adorable grin on his face.  
_  
I could say the same for you, Bright-eyes._ We were both in identical elf costumes, but I think he worked it much better than I did. The red and green striped tights hugged his ass like a second skin. Is my nose bleeding? _Santa, I’ve been a naughty boy.  
  
_ “Let’s get this over with,” Mikasa said. She shoved a red felt bag full of candy into my arms. She was wearing a [reindeer costume](http://www.costumecraze.com/product/SA322?c=googlebase%2CSA322&gclid=CjwKEAjwsZyqBRCT1aq6qcD53DQSJACcen4CkAo5wjc36M1jH16drj5o-S61I11AkylXtK2K7frLeRoCZ_zw_wcB) that I honestly thought was a bit too revealing considering she’s supposed to be a fucking animal. Oh but don’t even get me started on the[ female elf costumes](http://www.yandy.com/g/Seductive-Elf-Costume.php?utm_source=googleps&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=googleps&gclid=CjwKEAjwsZyqBRCT1aq6qcD53DQSJACcen4Ci6ZFw8F5Xfg-WkQtrV_p9OuVM5-IFsSC2I2qsNxuYxoCutTw_wcB).

“I wanted to wear thigh highs like the girls, but Erwin said it would be inappropriate,” Eren sighed with a cute little pout.  
  
_Goddammit, Eren now I’m imagining you in them...hell yeah and with some high heels as well and…  
  
_ “Alright my little elves! And reindeer. Let’s make sure Photos with Santa goes swimmingly!” Hanji clapped her hands. “Oh look at all the fake snow, how delightful! Yes, a fucking delightful winter wonderland!”  
  
Someone save me.  
  
“Why do _you_ look so down? At least Santa’s not making you sing Christmas carols to the little shits,” I turned to see Ymir staring at the ‘North pole’ setup with an expression of utter distaste. I know how she feels, the fake snow is everywhere and it stinks of plastic and it's probably gonna be a bitch to clean. Those props are also gaudy as fuck....  
  
“Why are you even here?” This doesn’t seem like her scene. Then again, it’s not exactly mine either.  
  
“So I can see Historia in that bangin’ elf costume, why else? Plus, we’re getting paid.”  
  
“True.”  
  
“You shouldn’t frown so much, you’ll scare the kids off. Then Eren will be mad, and you don’t want that, do ya lover boy?” She clapped her hand on my shoulder, winked and walked away.  
  
Goddammit Ymir. Are you that perceptive or am I just really fucking obvious?

* * *

_  
  
_ “Are you really an elf? Elves aren’t supposed to look so mean,” some kid told me.  
  
_This fucking question again._ “Yes, I am an elf,” _you little shit,_ “here, have some candy.” _And shut the fuck up.  
  
_ “Alright, are you ready to see Santa?” Mikasa was leading the kids in line to sit on Santa’s lap.  
  
Santa- aka Erwin- was looking fucking stupid in his costume stuffed full of cotton and that white monstrosity of a so called beard attached to his face. At least he was good with the kids- none of the little shits have cried so far, and the mothers seem to like him. Perhaps a bit too much. _C_ _ome on ladies, some of you are old enough to be his mother….  
  
_ Being around all these little shits is exhausting. I went to hide out behind one of the big ass Christmas props- this one was a gigantic wrapped box posing as a Christmas present. I drew my knees to my chest and rested my head on them as I closed my eyes and hoped with all my might I could take a goddamn nap without being interrupted.  
  
“Levi, where are you?”  
  
My eyes snapped open and I let out a huff as Mikasa’s voice got closer and closer.  
  
_Please don’t find me, please don’t find me…  
  
_ “Levi, quit slacking off!”  
  
_Fuckin’ great.  
  
_ Mikasa yanked me up by the arm. “Come over here! Eren’s on break and we need a hand with pictures. Some kid won’t stop crying.”  
  
“Why can’t Hanji help? She’d be better at it anyway.” Does she honestly think _I_ know how to calm a crying shit down?  
  
“She’s busy with ‘Story Time with Mrs. Claus’ down at the bookstore,” Mikasa said.  
  
“Well what about Mike?”  
  
“He’s manning the hot chocolate booth. Geez, don’t you pay attention? Now c’mon.”  
  
I sighed and resignedly made my way over to ‘Santa’s throne.’  
  
“Ah look there comes my special little helper. He’s the smallest of the male elves, ya know? Levi, why don’t you give the kiddo here another candy cane?” Erwin suggested.  
  
I bit back a sneer. “Here, stop crying. Everyone should be joyous when meeting Santa, crying is bad manners,” I told the sniveling little child perched on Erwin’s lap as I handed over a miniature candy cane.  
  
“S-sorry Sa-an-t-ta,” the kid whimpered.  
  
“No problem, kiddo,” Erwin assured him as he pat his head. “Now why don’t you tell me what you want for Christmas?”  
  
_I’ll tell you what_ I _want for Christmas. I want you, bushy eyebrowed fuck, to vanish. Die for all I care. Then I want Eren. I want Eren on his knees, looking up at me with those bright fucking too big eyes of his as he has my dick in his hot little mouth and then I want-  
  
_ “Levi!”  
  
“What, Mika?” I swatted her hand away that was annoyingly snapping inches in front of my face.  
  
“Done daydreaming? They want us to be in this photo, so smile. Like you _mean it_.” She gave me a pointed glare before turning to look at the photographer.  
  
“Okay, big smiles on three!” He cheerily exclaimed, “one...two...thr-”  
  
“Wait, wait! The little elf isn’t smiling,” the kid announced, pointing an accusatory finger at me.  
  
“So? Turn back around, Kid,” I ordered.  
  
“Not until you smile!” Oh shit, the little fuck’s starting to tear up again.  
  
“Levi, just do it!” Mikasa shouted.  
  
I rolled my eyes. “Fine.” Whatever gets this over with quicker.  
  
I put on the biggest fake smile I could muster. It felt horribly unnatural.  
  
“Wha...t-that’s..that’s the scariest smile I’ve ever seen! That elf is scary!” All of a sudden the kid was wailing.  
  
“Levi! I said smile, not grin like a serial killer!”  
  
“I can’t help it, it’s just my fucking face! Fuck. Rude fuckin’ bitch…”  
  
“Levi!”  
  
“The elf said a bad word! Make it stop…”  
  
“I think this little elf has been naughty.” _Ew, Eyebrows, don’t say shit like that._ “He deserves a time out. Mrs. Claus, take him away!” Erwin clapped his hands twice and suddenly Hanji was there to escort me away from the screaming child. I thought she was busy?  
  
“O-oh my GOD, Levi!” Hanji was cackling, almost falling over with the way she was laughing so hard.  
  
“Where are you taking me, Shitty-glasses?”  
  
“I don’t know. Go walk around for a while. You deserve it, Champ.” She pat me on the back before snorting and walking away.  
  
“Fucking brats. My smile’s not _that_ bad,” I huffed. Where should I go? Food court? I want a cookie bigger than my fucking head why the hell not….  
  
“Your fake smile is pretty atrocious.”  
  
I jumped when someone touched my shoulder.  
  
“Eren? You saw all that?”  
  
He smirked. “Most of it.”  
  
“It was the own brats fault. Kids these days, too fucking sensitive...I can smile just fine when I want to…” I grumbled.  
  
“Levi, I said your fake smile was horrendous. Not your actual smile,” Eren said.  
  
“Have you even seen me smile, Brat?”  
  
“Well, I’ve seen you amused. Your eyes kinda crinkle up at the corners when you laugh sometimes. I’ve seen you smirk- mostly mischievous or evilly,” he teased, “but I don’t know, Levi, I hope I do get to see you smile for real one day.”  
  
That's...horribly sweet. Fucking dork. “Whatever.”  
  
“Wanna go walk around?”

* * *

_  
  
_ “You look stupid, take that monstrosity off your head,” I commanded.  
  
Eren grinned, shaking his head fiercely. The dreadlocks attached to the hat whipped back and forth. He also had big green star glasses on that I didn't like much cause they hid his pretty eyes. What a fucking dork.  
  
“You should buy this though,” he held up a trucker hat that had ‘hohoho’ written on its front- the fucking letters even lit up in red and green.  
  
“No. I despise Christmas.”  
  
“Such a fucking scrooge. I bet you despise fun too.”  
  
“Oh, you know me so well.”  
  
“Seriously…” Eren snickered, “let’s take a selfie.” He whipped his phone out and squashed out faces together and I didn’t bother to smile as the stupid shutter sound went off.  
  
“Levi, look it’s a cat hoodie!”  
  
“Put that back, you fuck.”  
  
“No, try it on! Look, you’d look cute in it.”  
  
“Oi, I’m not cute.” Cute is what you call kittens and babies- although personally I think babies look like aliens. Have I ever actually seen an alien? I don’t fucking know maybe they disguise themselves, have _you_ ever seen one you fuck… I guess It depends on the tone you use when saying cute like I can say ‘hey Eren you’d look cute sucking my dick’ and it’d sound completely different than ‘Levi you’d look totally _adorbs_ in this! Pah!’  
  
“Aw of course you are…”  
  
“Eren, no!” He put his warm hands on my face, squishing my cheeks together until I unwillingly puckered my lips. “Ewen...’op it…”  
  
“Haha pfft!” He finally pulled away, “Should I get this Jack Skellington beanie?”  
  
“Yes, it’ll cover up that rat’s nest you call hair.”  
  
“Rude! You just don’t understand, you’ve probably never even had bedhead.”  
  
“Nah, but I can rock sex hair.” _Just so you know.  
  
_ “Levi!”  
  
“I should get this for Mika…”  
  
“That says bitch on it though.”  
  
“Exactly.”

* * *

_  
  
_ “Throw it again, I swear I’ll catch it this time. Just watch me!”  
  
“Eren, you’re wasting all my popcorn.”  
  
“Le-”  
  
“Don’t start your whining, ugh.” I threw a piece of popcorn at him. He was sat across the small table from me, mouth open and waiting and if that's not a pretty fucking sight, I don't know what is...The kernel bounced off his nose and fell to the floor.  
  
“You suck at this. Don’t pick that up, that’s disgusting! These floors are so dirty, they’re sticky.”  
  
“Again! Just one more time.”  
  
“Eren-”  
  
“One more.”  
  
“Fine.”  
  
I overshot it on accident, and yet he still went after the kernel seemingly determined to catch the piece of food, but then suddenly he’s falling out his fucking seat.  
  
“Ow.”  
  
“Wow, Eren…” I was practically choking on my laughter, “so fucking graceful.”  
  
“I know I am!” He retorted as he brushed his jeans off as he got up from the floor.  
  
“Hey, Eren, watch this.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
I threw some popcorn in the air- it got pretty good height let me tell ya- and easily caught it in my open mouth. “Easy fucking peasy.” I smirked.  
  
“I hate you.”

* * *

_  
  
_ By the time we made it back to the ‘North pole’ things seemed to be wrapping up. I think closing time is soon. Hallefuckinglujah.  
  
“There you two are!” Hanji shouted as we walked over to where she was resting by Santa’s throne, “I have had a kid puke on me today, another peed in Erwin’s lap, Ymir beat some guy up with an inflatable snowman cause he stared at Historia the wrong way, kids kept demanding Mikasa give them rides- not even piggybacks, they made her get on all fours! And I love kids, man, but some of the ones I’ve seen today...they...they’re goddamn little goblins! Like...I don’t understand...I-I…” Hanji started sniffling and then broke down into tears. _Disgusting.  
  
_ “I’m sorry, Hanji. We should’ve been here to help, but we got distracted. At least it’s over with,” Eren tried consoling her.  
  
She just whimpered some more, “the little girl called me a bitch...rammed a candy cane up my nose...she…”  
  
“I know. There, there…”  
  
“At least I’m still getting paid,” I muttered under my breath. I better fucking be.  
  
“Big-brother!” Mikasa smacked into my back and wrapped her arms around me. I let her hang off me as she rested her head on my shoulder. “My knees hurt. Those little assholes had me crawling around like a dog…” She sounded exhausted.  
  
“I bet your knees hurting isn’t exactly a new thing for you,” I snickered as I shoved her away from me.  
  
“Fucker!” She gasped, clearly offended.  
  
“Wanna fight me?”  
  
“Fuckin’ bet!”  
  
“Come at me then!” I taunted.  
  
“Fuckin’ will!”  
  
We shoved at each other, but it didn’t get far,  
  
“Hey, hey, break it up you little Ackerbitches.” Mike was suddenly there to separate us.  
  
“He started it!” Miksa accused.  
  
“Yeah, I did.” I shrugged, _watcha gonna do about it? Not shit, that’s what.  
  
_ “At least do this properly.” Mike sighed. “Your swords,” he handed us each one of those huge ass inflatable candy cane props that were sticking outta the fake snow.  
  
“Ha, fucking bring it.” _This’ll be good.  
  
_ “Your sword is almost bigger than you, Chibi!”  
  
“Use that nickname one more fucking time, see what happens.”  
  
Our so called swords were colliding now, bouncing back after hitting each other. Our feet were moving swiftly. The bitch kept blocking all my attacks….  
  
“Just surrender now!”  
  
“Never!”  
  
Mika nearly got me as she kicked and nearly sweeped my legs out from under me. Fuckin’ cheater. _Wanna play dirtier? I’ll show you dirty…  
  
_ I dropped to the ground so quick it wasn’t even funny, crawled between Mika’s legs- her stance was wide open as she held her candy cane with both hands like a fucking dork- I came out the other side, not giving her time turn around as I poked my sword into her back and then grabbed her by her hair and slammed her face into the fake-snow covered ground.  
  
“Eat it...eat. it. Yeah, yummy isn’t it?”  
  
She struggled under my grip. I finally released her and she came up for air, spitting snow out of her mouth. “You complete assface, I think this shit might be toxic.”  
  
“It’s alright in small doses.” We both looked up to find Erwin, who looked like he just came back from changing considering he was out of costume and had a bag thrown over his shoulder. “Having fun, children?”  
  
“I’m not a child,” I spat.  
  
“You're just as tall as one,” Mikasa snickered.  
  
“You wanna eat more snow?!” I threatened.  
  
“Nice one, Mikasa,” Erwin pat her on the head as he passed by.  
  
“Oi, don’t touch my sister with your dirty paws,” I grumbled under my breath.  
  
“You know, I think Erwin is actually a pretty cool guy,” Mikasa said.  
  
“Great, why don’t you marry the bastard? Then I can take Eren for myself.”  
  
“You’re still hung up on that?”  
  
“Don’t you know this?”  
  
“Yeah, but I just like hearing you talk about it cause it’s really pathetic.”  
  
I sighed and gathered some snow shit in my hand. “Come here, Mika. Open your mouth.”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Get over here, Brat!”  
  
“No, no! _Leevi_!” She gathered some snow as well and then smacked me in the face with it.  
  
I sputtered, shaking my head as I spat out the plastic tasting god awful excuse for snow.  
  
“Tasty, isn’t it?” Mikasa mocked.  
  
“I’m willing to bet your dead grandmother's hairy asshole tastes better than that,” I replied with a grimace.  
  
“Hey, don’t talk about grandma like that!”  
  
“May the old hag rest in pieces. She never did like the fact that I’m gay, ya know. I can say whatever the fuck I want about that bigoted buzzard.”  
  
“Why is Santa kissing an elf!” Some little boy passing by shouted. Isn’t it already past closing time?  
  
I followed the kid’s pointed finger to Santa’s throne. Erwin was sat there with a Santa hat on his head, and Eren was in his lap- still in full costume as they sucked face.  
  
“Hey, Mika how much of this shit do you think I have to eat for it to kill me?” _I'll eat a whole snowman made of this shit if need be..._  
  
“Is he cheating on Mrs. Claus, or is this some weird way of telling Santa what you want for Christmas?” The kid questioned.  
  
“That’s exactly what it is little dude, and that elf wants the D,” Mikasa told him.  
  
_Goddammit, Mikasa._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next we have Christmas with the Ackermans. Fucking Joy (ﾉ･ｪ･)ﾉ
> 
> On a side note, how do you guys feel about an eruren side story? Cause I thought it'd be fun to show you how they got together and just what Hanji meant about Erwin being "such a blushing mess with bad pickup lines and huge eyebrows." And you'd get Eren's POV on things and a better perspective on the story as a whole, I think. Anyone interested?
> 
>  


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feliz navidad and all that shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter is long overdue. Terribly sorry but I hit a snag trying to write this chapter, it'd been sitting in my docs for a while ｍ（＿　＿；；ｍ Also this chapter is kinda short and I don't want to say it's not up to my standards, but I feel that it _is_ lacking in some way. However I know that if I don't put it out now, I never will. Rest assured that the next chapter is already in the process of being written- it was actually supposed to be a part of this one, but I decided to split them up instead hence why this one is shorter than usual.

  
“What in the name of fuck is _this_?”  
  
“It’s a Christmas sweater of course!” Hanji said.  
  
It was probably the most hideous and offensive Christmas [sweater ](http://www.tipsyelves.com/blue-humping-reindeer-sweater/)I’ve ever seen. The blue sweater showed two reindeer couples fucking under the snowfall, a snowflake pattern made up the border around it.  
  
“You expect me to wear this?”  
  
“Yes! What’s wrong with it? Do you want this one instead?” She held up a new [sweater](http://www.tipsyelves.com/reindeer-menage-a-trois-sweater). This one was red and just as hideous, except instead of two individual couples, it had three reindeer engaged in what looked like a threesome.  
  
“Ever have a menage a trois, Levi?” Hanji asked, waggling her eyebrows at me.  
  
“You’re disgusting. I’ll take the fucking blue one, I guess. It matches me better,” I said. Might as well give in before she pulls out something even more atrocious.  
  
“Great! This one will be Eren’s then.” Hanji giggled. “I give Christmas sweaters to all my friends, ya know? Like a gag gift, except this isn’t a gag at all, these sweaters are all beautiful pieces of clothing that should be cherished!”  
  
“If you say so,” I muttered.  
  
“Give this one to that sister of yours, I had an extra.” She threw the [sweater](http://www.tipsyelves.com/womens-ugly-cat-christmas-sweater) in my face. I scowled and fisted it in my hands, staring down at the green fabric. This one was green and depicted a cat wearing reindeer antlers, twisted up in Christmas lights with it’s fur sticking up like it’d been thoroughly electrocuted.  
  
“Where do you even find these?” I questioned.  
  
“It’s a secret.” Hanji winked. “Promise me you’ll wear it on Christmas?”  
  
“Christmas Eve. Should make my relatives uncomfortable, that’s the kinda shit I live for.”

* * *

__  
  
“Mika, your damn cat is chewing on candy wrappers again, she’s gonna choke!”  
  
“Who keeps leaving their trash around?” Mikasa groaned.  
  
“One of those little devils,” I replied referring to our many small cousins. And I’m talking like _many_. More than I remember having. Do I even know half the people here? And god, why did they all have to visit? It’s almost like my family actually _wants_ to see each other. What bullshit.  
  
“Levi, answer the door for me!” Mom shouted from the kitchen when the doorbell rang for the second time in a row. She was busy making Christmas eve dinner, although I’m pretty sure she was multitasking and drinking with my aunts and whoever else.  
  
“There are like a million people standing closer to the door than I am,’ I grumbled under my breath. I stood up from the couch, having to kick a random kid that was gnawing on my leg away so I could properly make it to the front door.  
  
However it banged open before I could open it…  
  
“Oi, whatca got me waitin’ out in the cold for?” Kenny hollered.  
  
“Did you just kick the fucking door in?” I felt like I shouldn’t even be surprised. Uncle Kenny hadn’t changed much since I last saw him (which was probably last Christmas), he still had long dark hair, a scratchy thin beard, and still wore that awful bowler hat….  
  
“So I did.” Kenny looked around the foyer, “nice place,” he said. He shoved a bottle of alcohol (probably whiskey) into my arms and stalked off like he owned the place.  
  
I scowled as I heard the cheerful cries of my relatives greeting him. I placed the bottle on the bar in the kitchen.  
  
“Big-brother, the reindeer in the front yard fell over and mom wants you to fix,” Mikasa told me as she skipped over with a kid hanging off her arm.  
  
“Who’s that?”  
  
“Cousin Rachel...I think.”  
  
“Mikki,” Rachel whined as she tugged on Mikasa’s sleeve (she was wearing that damn ugly cat sweater), “I wanna watch Frosty the Snowman!”  
  
“Okay, okay.” Mikasa patted her head. “Levi, go fix the stupid reindeer.”  
  
_Ugh, why the fuck do_ I _gotta do it? Well at least I can get some much needed fresh air._ I put on my coat and walked out, slamming the door behind me.  
  
It was cold as fuck, but I’m at least grateful it wasn’t snowing to bad. Just a light dusting if anything. I shoved my hands in my coat pocket wondering why I hadn’t thought to grab my gloves.  
  
One of those shitty light up reindeer had fallen on it’s side. I hate my mother’s Christmas decorations, they’re always horrific. Like that blow up Santa Claus from last year that would wave it’s hand and shout ‘hohoho’ whenever someone walked by. That shit was fucking demonic, I swear.  
  
I picked up the shitty golden reindeer, set it up right a few feet away from it’s companion, but the bastard fell over again.  
  
“Forget it,” I huffed to myself. Fuck it. It’s too cold for this shit.  
  
“Levi!”  
  
I turned to see Eren waving at me as he crossed the driveway, walking over. He was wearing Hanji’s god awful Christmas sweater, tight black jeans and nothing else but his tall boots. He was also caring two boxes- one flat and long, the other long and wide.  
  
“Aren’t you cold, Brat?” I questioned.  
  
“Not really. I run hotter than most people,” he said.  
  
_Uh, maybe cause you_ are _hot?_ “Your sweater is atrocious,” I commented.  
  
He just grinned. “Ah, I like it. You’re not wearing yours?”  
  
“My mother said it was inappropriate for all the little brats in my family to see. I usually don’t listen to her, but she threatened to smash my cellphone with a hammer. Plus, it’s ugly.” Maybe I should be thanking her.  
  
“That’s nice. My mom just takes my phone away, doesn’t threaten to exterminate it.”  
  
“Well your mother’s sane. Wanna come in? I’m freezing my balls off.”  
  
Eren nodded. We walked inside and I was greatly pleased by the wave of warmth that hit me in the face as soon as I opened the door to the heated house. I shrugged off my coat and lead Eren upstairs before any of my crazy relatives could try and talk to us.  
  
We went to my room and sat on the bed, legs dangling off the edge.  
  
"So I got you something." Eren pushed a present into my arms. It was wrapped in light blue wrapping paper decorated with little snowmen and snowflakes.  
  
"You shouldn't have," I muttered 'cause that was the polite thing to say, right? I tore it open, noting that Eren was shit at wrapping gifts as there was unnecessary amounts of tape holding down excessive flaps of paper that shouldn’t even have been here in the first place. When I finally got it open, I raised an eyebrow at the small brown treasure chest I was left with. I opened it slowly, and was surprised to see little labeled packets… “You got me tea?”  
  
“Mikasa said you really liked tea. This one comes with earl grey, chai spice, chamomile...uh, I don’t really know much about it or drink it so I hope it’s good…”  
  
“It’s real good. Thanks.” I have him a small smile, one I hope he knew was genuine. I thought it was sweet he put thought into the gift, let alone got me anything at all.  
  
“I...uh...always get my friends gifts,” he said as he shifted his gaze away. Is that a hint of a blush I see on his cheeks, or is it just the lighting?  
  
“I got you something too,” I told him.  
  
“You did?” He sounded surprised, watched as I walked over to the closet.  
  
“Yeah, it’s..a stupid...little something I found with Mika,” I murmured distractedly as I turned the light to the closet on and searched for what I needed. I pulled that stupid oversized pink penguin out and sat it on top of the bed. Mikasa and I had decided to dress it up for Christmas. It was wearing a [black sweater](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unisex-Humbug-Christmas-Sweatshirt-Jumper/dp/B00F5UEZ92) that said ‘BAH HUMBUG’ and a black Santa hat.  
  
“Lee?” Eren raised an eyebrow in question as he poked the penguin, it fell over.  
  
I huffed and straightened it. “He’s wearing your present.” I took off the necklace I had placed around the fluffy little shit’s nonexistent neck and offered it over to Eren.  
  
He stared at the simple little black pendant that had a skeletal hand giving the finger printed on it. His lips curled upward in a grin. “I like it. Reminds me of the necklace I got Horseface one year- just to piss him off. It’s a necklace with a donkey charm that says ‘ass.’”  
  
“Sounds nice. I got Mikasa one like yours that says ‘crazy bitch.’ Mine says ‘I don’t give a-’ with a piece of shit in the background.”  
  
“Now we have friendship necklaces! Hey, can I keep Lee? I thought he was mine?” Eren looked at me with a little pout.  
  
“You never asked for him, Brat. Sure, take the plushy asshole, ugly Christmas sweater and all.” I waved my hand like I couldn’t care less.  
  
“Aw, his sweater’s cute,” Eren said as he hugged the stuffed animal to his chest.  
  
“That’s not saying much, you like _Hanji’s_ sweater,” I pointed out. Clearly he has questionable taste.  
  
“Whatever, I’m-” A chiming noise distracted him mid sentence. He fished his phone out of his pocket just as a series of new messages flooded his phone. He looked annoyed as he stared at the screen. “My mom wants me home, says she didn’t slave away over Christmas Eve dinner for me to sneak out.” He rolled his eyes. “Make sure ‘Kasa gets this?” He patted the other box on the bed.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
Eren transferred the Santa hat that Lee was wearing to his own head, clutched the oversized penguin in his arms as we walked downstairs. _Fuck, he looks really cute…_ We were stopped on our way to the front door by a staggering Kenny.  
  
“L-Levi, my boy, who’s this?” He slurred as he clapped a hand on Eren’s shoulder. “This your boyfriend?”  
  
My eye twitched as I debated whether or not to punch the drunken bastard in the face. _So embarrassing…_ “He’s a friend,” I stated.  
  
“I’m Eren.”  
  
“Kenny. Say, Eren, are you old enough to drink? Course you’re not...here drink this,” he shoved a glass of brown liquid he was holding into Eren’s surprised hand. I took it from him before he could spill it. “Ah, Levi, you’ve always liked mooching my drinks. I’m the only one around here that’ll turn a blind eye. I’m a cool uncle, you see-”  
  
“You’re really not.”  
  
“Hush, Levi. Eren, let me let you in on a little secret, Levi holds his alcohol like a pro- makes me proud, see I’m even tearing up just thinking about it. _But_ you wanna know who a real lush is? Grandma Patty, she can’t handle her alcohol for shit! Flirts with anything in a five mile radius when she’s hammered, even the damned teacup chihuahua cousin Lacey always travels with. Remember that Christmas, Levi? Good ol’ damned Patty was passed out in front of the christmas tree, wrapped in the damn sting of lights as she let the dog shamelessly hump her behind. Bitch passed out after dancing on the table top and puking on poor little cousin Rachel’s head. Heard she even took a dump on the front porch. Wrinkly old cunt has never been the same since her husband croaked...Real shame.” Kenny had a tear trickling down one eye by the end of his little story.  
  
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Neither did Eren. The silence just stretched on as Kenny sniffled.  
  
“Well...she’s dead now, so…” I trailed off as I pulled Eren along by the arm, over to the front door and far away from my cringe worthy uncle who was now attempting to dance with Mikasa’s cat.  
  
“Nice to meet you!” Eren called over his shoulder.  
  
I slammed the door after us, almost not minding the cold air so much now that I was free from my shameful family. I didn’t even mind that I forgot to grab my fucking coat.  
  
“Your uncle was nice,” Eren commented with a teasing smirk.  
  
“My uncle needs to shove his head in a toilet and drown.”  
  
“He’s not that bad.”  
  
“You’ve only just met him. He’s not even drunk as he _could_ be yet. Be grateful you won’t be around to see _that_.” I shook my head in horror at the thought.  
  
Eren laughed. “Hey, Levi?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“I just wanted to say...Happy Birthday. I know it’s tomorrow but-”  
  
“Ugh, who told you?” I hate having a Christmas birthday. Just one more reason to add to why I hate the holiday.  
  
“Mikasa did. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, Birthday Boy.” He kissed the top of one of Lee’s furry little flippers, then pressed the soft thing to my face in an indirect kiss. “Lee wishes you a happy birthday too!” He said.  
  
“You’re really lame.” _No you’re not, you’re too damn cute._ I smiled fondly, reached up to boop his nose. “Oi, Brat, go inside. You’re starting to look like Rudolph.”  
  
Eren smiled, turned to walk away. Waved at me from his front door.  
  
I probably had a stupid little grin on my face as I went back inside. I was immediately greeted by Kenny in the entryway. He was still twirling around with the stupid cat who was mewing threats at him, swatting at his face as she twisted in his arms trying to escape.  
  
“Hey, Levi did you kiss your lover boy goodnight?” He asked.  
  
“No, he’s not my-”

“Like this,” Kenny said as he did a grand spin and dipped the cat in his arms, lips puckered to kiss the struggling little furball’s face. She pushed his face away with her paws.  
  
I scowled in distaste at the sight, even that demon cat didn’t deserve _that_. “Give me that cat before she claws your fucking eye out.” I snatched Yuki away from Kenny and she see seemed to curl into my arms in relief- which was amazing cause the little shit was always clawing me whenever I had the misfortune of holding her.  
  
“You poor little shit,” I cooed at her, “what’d that man do to you?”  
  
“Hold up! Is that Sweet Home Alabama?! Turn THAT SHIT UP! OW!” Kenny howled, voice roaring through the house.  
  
I walked into the kitchen to see Kenny dancing- if his horrible hip thrusting could be counted as such- to Lynyrd Skynyrd. Oh god, were people actually cheering him on? I left once he started stripping off his clothes. I hugged Yuki just a bit closer, feeling like we had both been traumatized enough for one night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other announcements, I got a new kitty! His name is Uriel and he's a tiny little thing. Also I ripped a contact today and it was my last pair and my glasses are out of commission so I'm typing with one good eye right now...
> 
> Anyway, in actual important announcements, I am putting up the side story today- it's called RUM Asides for right now cause I am shit with titles. So yay, Eren's POV! I have pre-written chapters so updates should be weekly (until I inevitably run out and have to start writing again and things go to hell 'cause writer's block always comes for me- I think it wants to eat me alive sometimes).
> 
> Also, this chapter took so long to get out because I've also been working on another project. And it's not even the other Ereri fic I have posted on here, it's a completely new story cause I'm an absolute piece of trash who likes to start things when I haven't even finished.... Right now I'm debating posting it. A basic summary would be it's another highschool au, pretty Eren centric, and has much darker themes than this one. Ereri is the endgame but it has other Eren pairings so I imagine only multishipping pieces of trash like myself would be interested. It might also be an excuse for me to do a kinda 'Eren harem' with copious amounts of smut. I don't know, anyone else interested in that? Hell, is anyone still interested in _this_? 【・ヘ・?】


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's New Year's Eve. People get drunk and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I apologize for the unexpected hiatus. It's been far too long. I missed this story, but admittedly hadn't been up to writing it lately...however, I literally just had a burst of inspiration today to finish this chapter that had been like fucking _decaying_ in my documents. I hope I'm back for good 'cause man, I forgot how fun this story is to write. It's real fun. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

  
  
“This party is gonna suck ass. I don’t feel like going out tonight, why can’t you just leave me here to die, Mika? Leave me here to watch Netflix and gorge myself on pizza in peace.”  
  
“Big-brother is such a fucking buzzkill.” Mikasa sighed as she adjusted the hood of the hoodie she wore under her coat. The lame cat ears on the kitty-cat hoodie Eren had gotten her for Christmas were pissing me off- She looked almost innocent, and it was kinda scary. “I can’t let you stay home on _New year's Eve_! That’d be fucking lame.”  
  
“Quit saying fucking.” That’s my thing.  
  
“Hanji’s party is gonna be fucking awesome.”  
  
“Whatever,” I grumbled. My phone buzzed in the front pocket of my jeans. “Mike’s outside.”  
  
We rushed outside into Mike’s waiting, warm car. Thank fuck. It’s cold as balls tonight.  
  
“Hey, babe,” Mike greeted me.  
  
Gross. “Hey, Fuckface.”  
  
“Sorry I meant, hey, Gremlin.”  
  
“Fuck off.”  
  
“I’m here too.”  
  
“How are you tonight, Mikasa?”  
  
“Could be better. My brother’s being a whiny pussy.”  
  
“Shut your fuck up, Mikasa.”  
  
“Nah.”  


* * *

__  
  
Hanji’s placed looked much like it did on Halloween, except there were Christmas lights and shit rather than skeletons. The inside was different, less rave imitating, more house party-ish. Sadly, no bartenders (hopefully still plenty of booze). Also, lots more confetti and streamers for that awful New Years charm. It was still early, so not much people were around yet.  
  
Hanji stood chatting with the DJ of the night as he set up and shit. “Oh, oh guys!” She called as she spotted us. She ran over to us with the grace of a speed snorting gazelle (not really very graceful at all).  
  
“Who’s ready to ring in the new year?!”  
  
Mikasa cheered, Mike whooped. I didn’t really understand their enthusiasm. I’d still rather be in bed.  
  
“Fuck the new year.”  
  
“Don’t be such a grouch.” Mike kicked me from behind, foot digging painfully into my ass.  
  
“Hey!” I whipped around to glare at him, but Hanji turned me away.  
  
“Aw wittle wevi will feel better after we get some alcohol in him,” Hanji said as she squeezed my cheeks.  
  
“Get your filthy hands off me.”  
  
“My hands are clean! See?” She licked the palm of her right hand.  
  
What. The. Fuck. I shivered in disgust, eyes wide.  
  
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  


* * *

__  
  
Guests poured in, in pairs and groups. Hanji dragged me around as she greeted everybody but I didn’t mind much since I had, in both hands, a red solo cup filled of questionable substances and I’m pretty sure one of them was more than a half full cup of straight vodka.  
  
“Eren!” Hanji shouted across the room, waving wildly.  
  
I looked up to see Eren had just walked in with Erwin. Ugh why is he always with him? (I mean it’s not like they’re boyfriends or anything. Ahhaha I’m suddenly thirsty, another three gulps of this shit…)  
  
“Hanji, Levi. How’re you tonight?”  
  
“Great! I’m so excited to ring in the new year. Ne, Eren, aren’t you excited? Huh, huh? What about you, Erwin? You’re excited, yes?”  
  
Erwin smiled that annoying ass perfect teethed fake smile of his. “Of course.”  
  
“Sure,” Eren said.  
  
“What better way to ring in the new year than with my lovely boyfriend,” Erwin said. He pulled Eren tighter to his side, kissed his temple. A faint blush bloomed across the brunette's cheeks.  
  
Fuckin’ gag me. “Oh no I need another drink,” I announced after I threw back the clearish liquid that felt like it burned my fucking esophagus on the way down. _Yet it doesn't hurt as much as my heart. sob fucking sob._  
  
“Wha, but you’re other cup…?” Hanji pointed out.  
  
I glared, threw the remaining liquid over my shoulder, crushed the empty cup in my hand and high-tailed it to the kitchen. Anything to escape Erwin’s stupid heart eyes. Eren’s cute when he blushes, _I_ should be making Eren blush…  
  
“Are you alright?” Mike asked as he leaned against the kitchen counter, watching me mix a drink.  
  
“Is anybody alright? We’re dying as we speak, leading such sad lives as we wither away without going after the things we truly want in life, simply because we fear rejection. Also, I still really want pizza."  
  
“Uh...okay.”  


* * *

__  
  
“You know,” Hanji hiccuped over her drink, “New Years is great! A new year for new beginnings...fresh starts and all that shit,” she said.  
  
“Yeah, I can find someone to love,” Mikasa muttered bitterly. “Someone who fucking _cherishes_ me!” She slammed her cup down on the table.  
  
“Hey, shitty fucking little sister, tone it down.”  
  
“Fuck off, Pipsqueak.”  
  
“I mean, it’s a _whole new year_! You could become a different person if you wanted! Quit bad habits. Pick _up_ bad habits! You could decided to shave your head, get a tattoo...oh! Get your dick pierced!” Hanji shouted.  
  
“You could do all that shit anytime you want,” I scoffed. For example, I could jump out the fucking window right now if I wanted...fuck your new years bullshit.  
  
“So you’re saying you’d be up to get your dick pierced right now?” Hanji questioned.  
  
“Hell no. Sounds painful and unsanitary.”  
  
“Ha, fucking buzzkill.”  
  
"That's what I said!" Mikasa exclaimed with wide eyes.  
  
“Shut your face, Four-eyes. Go get whatever the fuck you want pierced and keep me out of it.”  
  
“I want nipple piercings,” Hanji stated.  
  
_Oh, ew._ My face screwed up in disgust. Another drink to clear up _that_ mental image.  
  
“Look it’s not about dick piercings…” Hanji shook her head a bit exaggeratedly. She is clearly tipsy. “It’s about living in the moment!”  
  
“Like YOLO?” Mikasa looked intrigued.  
  
“Mik-ass-a, never say that again.”  
  
“Yes, yes, exactly like YOLO!” Hanji slammed her hands on the table as she jumped up. “That’s my new years _fucking resolution_! To from now onward, live in the moment. I’ll get my nipples pierced tomorrow- ‘cause who the fuck has time tonight? We’re all looking to get hammered, no one should be driving-”  
  
Mikasa nodded. “Right, right, responsibility. Yes.”  
  
“And so my nipples will probably be sore as fuck by tomorrow night. I’m looking forward to it...Anyway! _Levi_ here...well, you know what Levi here needs to do tooo- _night_?!”  
  
Mikasa gasped. “No, what?”  
  
“He needs to QUIT BEING A LITTLE BITCH AND MAKE A MOVE ON EREN!” Hanji shouted, throwing her hands wildly in the air.  
  
I don’t think I’m drunk enough for this shit yet. “Shut your fucking mouth!” I hissed, throwing the closest object I could find at four-eye’s head.  
  
She dodged the empty plastic cup easily, though she almost tripped over thin air.  
  
“I’m being serious here! Levi, why don’t you just go for it?” She asked as she sat back down.  
  
“Uh, ‘cause he has a fucking boyfriend. Obviously.”  
  
“Big-brother is just a scaredy cat,” Mikasa taunted.  
  
Hanji sighed, rubbed at her face until her glasses were skewed unevenly across her nose and pouted a bit. “I have to go potty,” she announced as she got up.  
  
“Your glasses are crooked!” I called after her.  
  
“I know!”  
  
“Seriously, you’re a lil’ bitch and it’s not even funny,” Mikasa said.  
  
“I am a respectable human being who doesn’t go after men in committed relationships,” I stated. I’m like, honorable and shit.  
  
“ _That._ Is a fucking lie! Pretty sure respectable people aren’t so mean. Anyway, if Eren goes for you then how is it your fault?”  
  
‘Cause it takes two to tango...ah, who cares I’m not the one in a relationship…fuck Erwin anyway god damn thick eyebrowed bastard. “You know, I can’t believe I’m fucking saying this...but, you might actually be right Mika.”  
  
“Of course I am.”  
  
“What’d I miss, what’d I miss? Why are you smirking?” Hanji asked as she skipped back over to us.  
  
“No reason. Did you even wash your fucking hands?”  


* * *

__  
  
You know, Eren looks cute when he’s dancing. Even when he’s just bouncing around stupidly with his friends. Also that bald-headed kid is a surprisingly good breakdancer. Also, Horseface over there needs to stop doing that shuffling thing, it’s not aesthetically pleasing. But, yeah, Eren… _look at that ass, he’s wearing the most sinfully tight black skinnies…_  
  
“Uh, so you wanna dance or something?” Mike asked.  
  
“You sound like a twelve year old boy asking a girl to dance the last shitty song of the night at their first godawful middle school dance. No, I hate dancing. You should go talk to Erwin.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“‘Cause I said so. Nah, look ima give you the lowdown.”  
  
“The lowdown?”  
  
“Yes, the lowdown. Don’t raise that condescending eyebrow at me. Okay, so basically...I’m gonna seduce Eren and you should distract Erwin ‘cause he’s hovering like a fucking mosquito.” Honestly, how does Eren put up with the fucker? Must have a big dick. Oh god, Levi don’t go there...Okay now I’m _too_ drunk for this shit.  
  
“I suppose,” Mike said, seemingly reluctant.

 "Well, get to it."  
  
The music had shifted into another song by the time I went over to Eren.

 "Levi!" he shouted and suddenly I had an armful of hyperactive Eren. "Dance with me!"  
  
Suddenly I remember how much I love Drunk Eren. When he’s not making out with Eyebrows that is… Drunk Eren is fun, Drunk Eren is clingy, Drunk Eren is currently grinding against me with no shame at all. It’s alright, Eren, Drunk Levi will take care of you.  
  
“Levi, the room’s spinning,” Eren giggled just half a song later. He slumped in my arms, held onto me as he rested his head on my shoulder.  
  
“Is it?” I mused. I nuzzled his hair. His shampoo smells like goddamn strawberries for some reason…  
  
“Mhm. I think I need to lie down, wanna take me upstairs?” Eren asked as he looked up at me with glazed blue-green eyes, entrancing as ever.  
  
I was incapable of speech. I could only nod.  
  
We made our way upstairs to an unoccupied room smoothly enough, I wasn’t tripping over my feet every few steps like Eren was. He clung to me until we entered the room and he stumbled and collapsed onto the king sized bed that had an atrocious white fluffy comforter. _Who killed a fucking polar bear?_  
  
He stayed sprawled there for a moment, then giggled and sat up, legs dangling off the edge of the bed.  
  
“You alright, kid?”  
  
“Perfect. Leeeviii, come sit!” He patted the spot next to him and I complied, sitting close enough our shoulders brushed.  
  
“What’s your new year’s resolution, Levi?”  
  
“Ah...I’m not sure,” I admitted.  
  
Eren pouted. “Everyone should have one. I think yours should be to be a bit nicer to people-”  
  
“I’m plenty fucking ni…” I trailed off at the incredulous look I was being given. “Yeah, probably. But it’s not likely to happen.”  
  
Eren huffed a laugh. “Well, wanna know what mine is? I wanna break up with Erwin.”  
  
I think I was shocked into silence for about a full minute. “Hmm, that’s not really a resolution,” I was finally able to respond with what I hoped was nonchalance.  
  
“Calling it a resolution strengthens my resolve. Ugh, I mean I just...can I be honest with you? I don’t-” Eren took a second to hiccup, “ugh, excuse me. I just...don’t think I love him anymore.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“I was really stupid to get back together with him. I can’t trust him anymore, I’m not in love with him anymore...mmm the sex is good, but a relationship can’t only be that.” Eren started giggling suddenly, “L-Levi I think I love his dick more than him!” He was howling with laughter now, fell back on the bed.  
  
“I think you’re really hammered.” I lied back as well, staring up at the ceiling.  
  
“Probably. Wanna know why I took him back in the first place?”  
  
I locked my gaze on a water stain on the ceiling. “Why?”  
  
Eren sighed. “To get over my stupid crush on you.”  
  
For the second time in the past five minutes I was shocked into near silence. “Eren?” I turned to look at him and was met- not with his vibrant green eyes- but the back of his eyelids and the gross sight of drool seeping out of the corner of his parted mouth. He was fucking snoring.  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me?"  
  
The closed bedroom door banged open as a hyper Hanji barged inside. "The countdown's starting soon!"  
  
"You _are_ fucking kidding me."  
  
"Huh? No, I'm serious. The countdown to New Years begins in a minute."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update shouldn't take so long (maybe). Anyway, I also have another WIP that you should totally check out (ya know but only if ya want to) it's called [Heavydirtysoul](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4243743/chapters/9602451) and it features a slutty Eren and multiple Eren pairings with a heap of smut and angst. I can't be the _only_ one into those sorts of things, right? (^_^;)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's such a little shit. But like, in a cute way.

I woke up feeling like my skull was going to split in two and Hanji’s obnoxious laughter that was drifting from downstairs wasn’t doing much to help.  
  
I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar bedroom and the unfortunate sight of Mike drooling on the pillow next to mine, too close for comfort. At least he doesn’t snore.  
  
I sighed and rolled out of bed, making my way downstairs as I clutched my head because _holy fuck I feel like a monkey is hammering my skull and my poor brain is pulsating because of it…_  
  
There weren’t any people around. The place was wrecked, but luckily I haven’t seen any dead bodies. I followed Hanji’s howling to the kitchen. She was sitting on the counter munching on a strip of bacon, talking to Eren and my sister as Erwin stood at the stove cooking what looked like delicious fucking fluffy golden pancakes ( _calm down stomach, I refuse to eat anything_ this _asshole...oh fuck me they have chocolate chips in them._ )  
  
“Levi!” Hanji shouted when she caught sight of me.  
  
I immediately winced. “God your voice is annoying on regular days, when I’m nursing a hangover, it’s fucking _brutal_!”  
  
“OH I’M SORRY SHOULD I STOP SHOUTING?!”  
  
“You fucking-”  
  
“WHAT WAS THAT?!”  
  
“Shut your fuck up! Jesus fucking-!”  
  
Hanji started laughing so hard she fell off the counter with a loud bang.  
  
“Are you okay?” Eren looked concerned as he peered down at her, offered to help her up.  
  
“Peachy keen, Erebear!” Hanji refused his offered hand, chose to stay lying on the (probably grimy) floor as she made invisible snow angels.  
  
“Are you still drunk?” I raised an eyebrow in disdain.  
  
“You can’t really tell with Hanji,” Erwin commented.  
  
“Rhetorical fucking question, asshat-”  
  
“Levi you seem particularly grumpy this morning, have some coffee it might help.” Erwin gestured to the half full coffee maker.  
__  
Oh this bastard. I clenched my fists, puffed up like a threatened cat.  
  
“Levi, I’ll get it for you!”  
  
I jumped at Eren’s gentle touch as he placed a hand on my shoulder, turned to see big bright green eyes practically beaming at me.  
  
“How the fuck can you look so cheery this early?” And after drinking so much, if I remember correctly, last night Eren was...wait, last night…  
  
“Early?” Hanji snorted. “It’s like two thirty in the afternoon! I woke up early to kick everyone that was still here _out_ at like...eleven? Yeah, ‘round there. Also, I’m neither drunk nor hungover, I’m too resilient for that! Come on Levi, you’re a teenager, you should’ve bounced back by now.”  
  
I ignored Hanji’s babbling, stared at Eren’s back as he prepared two mugs of coffee (though I'm not sure it even qualified as coffee what with all the milk and sugar he'd dumped in) and remembered through a haze of alcohol induced amnesia what happened last night- well, some of it. It gets kinda blurry after Mike tried to hump that blow up monkey which, by the way, why does Hanji even own?  
  
_“Wanna know why I took him back in the first place? To get over my stupid crush on you.”_  
  
My stupid crush on you.  
  
My stupid crush.  
  
My stupid crush. On you.  
  
_My crush_ ON YOU.  
  
“Levi, are you alright?” No, I am internally screaming. It was all I could do to take the mug Eren offered me without dropping it. Shit, why is my hand shaking?  
  
“Morning, Babe.”  
  
I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone slapped my ass out of nowhere.  
  
I turned to glare at Mike who was giving me the biggest shit eating grin. Never eat shit, children, it’s unsanitary.  
  
“Why is everyone so damn cheery this morning, not five minutes ago you were drowning in your own drool. Thanks for almost making me spill my coffee, asshat.” The coffee Eren so kindly prepared for me.  
  
Mike smirked, ignored me as he sniffed the air. “I smell chocolate pancakes.”  
  
Everyone sat at the small round table to the far side of Hanji’s kitchen (except Hanji herself who chose to sit on the counter again like an imbecile) as we ate breakfast. That blond bastard is a decent cook, I’ll give him that. At least when it comes to pancakes. Maybe it’s just ‘cause I’m hungry, yeah must be it.  
  
I scarfed down my food in silence while everyone else talked about what the fuck ever and more. At one point, Erwin pulled Eren onto his lap ‘cause it’s like the asshole has to be touching him twenty-four seven. I politely tried not to vomit while Erwin spoonfed Eren like a child (fork-fed, whatever).  
  
“Hey, Levi, look. Here comes the chuchu train.” Mike had the audacity to stick his fork in my face, piece of pancake on the end. Maple syrup was slowly dripping onto the table.  
  
My face showed my disgust as I slapped his hand away. “Try that again and that fork’s going in your neck.”  
  
“Kinky.”  
  
Hanji loudly announced that we should all watch a movie and put the home theater upstairs to good use. Everyone made vague murmurs of agreement.

 I was the only one left to clean up the kitchen since everyone else is a filthy fuck and I refuse to let dirty dishes just sit there and seriously some asshole got egg yolk on the goddamn ceiling (I'd like to blame it on Erwin but I'm 99 percent sure it was Hanji’s fault).

 “Need help Levi?”

_Eren, you're like fucking heaven sent or something._

 “Sure. Place all that shit in the sink so I can wipe the counter down. Better yet, toss them bitches in the dishwasher,” I instructed.

 Now how the hell do you get egg off a ceiling? “Hey, Eren, about last night…” Let's be real here, there's more pressing matters than nasty ass egg yolk. Eren’s been acting perfectly normal all morning (or afternoon apparently) like he hadn't just basically confessed to me last night.

 “Oh, uh, I didn't do anything like…embarrassing, last night, did I?” Eren looked a bit sheepish as he scratched the back of his neck with a hint of concern in his eyes. “I was pretty drunk off my ass, I think the last thing I remember is dancing with you.”

 It felt like it took ages for my brain to compute the utter bullshit he'd just said (though in reality was probably only seconds). “Oh, no, you didn't...do anything embarrassing,” I told him, voice surprisingly calm in spite of the fucking long string of profanities going off in my head. _Can you see me screaming with my eyes, Eren? This is the look of a broken man._

“Ha, well that's a relief.”

 “Mmhm.” _Fucking shitty ass brat, who the fuck drops a bomb like that only to go and fucking forget like you gotta be fucking shitting me right now someone is fucking laughing at me and my joke of a life fuck you God I ain't ever ask for shit and this is the bull-_

“Levi, are you okay? Your eye’s twitching.”

 “No Eren, I'm am _not_ o-fucking-kay! There is fucking _egg yolk_ on the goddamn _ceiling_!”

 

* * *

__  
  
I’m pretty sure I had a ‘don’t talk to me’ face on for the rest of the day. Ya know, more so than usual. Bitch face x10.  
  
It wasn’t until we got home that Mikasa decided to comment on it. “Big-brother, you look like a perpetually grumpy elf.”  
  
“Fuck off, Mika. Just. Fuck. Off.”  
  
“Did something happen between you and Eren? When you came back from-”  
  
“Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.” Expect that something _did_ very much happen. Last night. And the little shit can’t even remember.  
  
“And how did seducing him last night go?” Mikasa had that ugly mischievous look in her eyes, she was definitely taunting me.

“How do you think?” I huffed.

 “I think he's too googly eyed over Erwin to even notice your desperate attempts.”

 I felt a smirk tug at my lips. _Except he's not._ Quite the opposite actually, Eren basically admitted he wants out; there relationship is crumbling as we speak, good as fucking roadkill, fucking _done_ for.

 It's like I could feel the confidence surge back into my veins. I mean, I should be rejoicing, shouldn't I? Sure the fucking little shit doesn't remember confessing his love (I mean come on, he practically did) to me. But he fucking _did_ say it, and he also said that he's unhappy with Erwin. Everyone knows only the truth slips out when you're drunk (mostly) so it's safe to fucking say, I have a pretty good shot here.

 The only thing left to do is seduce Eren. But this time, I gotta do it _right_. Like a man.

 “Why do you have such a scary look on your face?”

  _Isn't it obvious, Mika? I'm thinking about hunting that Jaeger booty._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will definitely pick up after this chappy, no worries. Ereri is upon us ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

**Author's Note:**

> [TUMBLR](http://miss-miisty-eyed.tumblr.com/)


End file.
